Happy Parents Day

 

Father's Day is here which represents yet another potentially awkward day to remember. 

In my travels across social media, I see all types of responses to Father's Day. All the way from total acceptance of a transgender woman who used to be a father, to no acceptance at all.

Long ago, my daughter came to the decision she would refer to me as a "parent" and leave a gender specific label out of it. I thought it was a great idea. 

My own Dad was rather emotionally distant and never learned a thing about my transgender leanings. Looking back on our relationship, it is very difficult for me to predict how he would have reacted. If my Mom's reaction was any indication, it wouldn't have been positive.

Both of them were part of the WWII/Depression generation which were long on being providers and short on being emotionally accessible. After all, my Mom offered access to advanced psychiatric treatment when I came out to her. The subject was never spoken of again. More than likely, any conversations with Dad would have led to uncomfortable conclusions about a subject we neither knew much about. 

Either way, I would have to have taken the path of accept me or else. Which would have put me on a collision course with my parents attitude of mental illness. Get treatment and get over it. 

Looking back on my interactions with either of my parents, I wish I had taken a more active approach.

Even though, I never heard it from him, Dad I love you and thanks for all you did do.  

Coming Out on Tic Toc?

 One of the programs on television I can't say I have ever watched is "Dance Mom's". 

However, one of the program's performers shed her non authentic male persona and came out as transgender. 

"Zachery Torres"  recently shared on Tic Toc that her pronouns are "she/hers and they/them".

During an interview for Pink News she said she didn't feel a pressure to dance a certain way until she landed a spot on "Dance Mom's". Now she wants to use her platform so young transgender and queer kids don't have to face a line of fire. 

For more, go here. 

The Hostess Stand

 As I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo, last night was the monthly Thursday social hosted by the transgender - cross dresser group I am part of here in Cincinnati. 

For once, since Liz had to work, I was able to arrive early. Ironically, I walked into a chaotic hot mess. The poor hostess had some sort of a vague idea of a reservation but couldn't come up with who made it and for how many.

Seemingly as she was frozen in in decision, I simply turned around a grabbed a seat at the bar next to several other of the attendees. I was good. The beer was cold and the conversation was light. 

Sooner more than later, the organizers arrived and attempted to dispel the confusion. Order was restored and we ended up waiting a bit longer for a couple of tables to open up. 

I'm sure for many of the people who were there, the whole delay was no problem because of the "special occasion" of being cross dressed in their feminine best. For the rest of us, we were doing our best to enjoy the company. As I said, the beer was cold, the conversation was light and the food was good. The venue even treated us to several free appetizers.  The best part was outside of one person, no one acted like an idiot. It was her 79th birthday and I guess one way or another she was going to try to be the center of attention. 

My only problem was my back. After and hour or so, I become very uncomfortable. 

There were pictures taken, if any are worthwhile, I will pass them along.   

Multiple Transitions

 An acquaintance of mine on Facebook (Joni) recently wrote a post concerning an encounter she had with a cis female friend who all of the sudden  "slipped" up and called her by the correct pronouns which I assume was different because how Joni (left) responded to it. 

She (Joni) responded the whole process just seemed to take a while with her friend to actually transition with her.

I believe there are multiple transitions involved with something as complex as a human gender change. Personally, I think I can recall of at least one major transition when I went from being what I referred to as a cross dresser to a fully out in the world transgender woman.

Unfortunately, we lose sight of how hard it is for others around us to make the transition also. Once again, n my case, I will use my brother as an example. He told me he would always know me and refer to me as my old self. Shortly after that I ended up moving away and we never pursued my gender change any further. On occasion, I do feel guilty I didn't give him the chance to try to transition with me. 

So, as we proceed down this very complex and long journey, we find there is no easy answer to the amount of transitions we go through. Some transgender women go down the surgical path to what they consider "the final solution"  then again, some don't. 

Along the way, somehow we have to consider those making the transition with us. Some never make the journey for what ever reason but some do. Making room for those that do is the essence of being an understanding transgender woman. It's exceedingly hard to do on such an often lonely path we didn't choose to accept but somehow find away to exist with. The whole process has a tendency to make us seem selfish.

As you can see from the picture, Joni has transitioned well. To my knowledge she hasn't had any surgery but has been on HRT for several years. Congratulations on others around her accepting her for  true self! 

Another Social

 As I perhaps have pointed out, there is another "social" scheduled for Thursday night in one of the local seafood restaurants. The event is hosted by the transgender - cross dresser group I am part of. The group also has support group meetings which are still virtual and I have not attended recently. 

So far it looks as if I will be attending by myself as Liz most likely will have to work over. 

I am looking forward to getting out of the house again and casually dressing up as I have dinner. I am slightly different than more than a few of the others because I don't have to go all out to impress anyone in the group. I am planning to wear my favorite form fitting patterned tank top along with a pair of my khaki culottes and black flats. I am going to pull my hair back into a flowing mane and wear a pair of dangling ear-rings to get about as dressed up as I get. As  much as I don't really care about the group, I do care about how the public perceives me.

The venue is slightly upscale so I feel, I  should be too. 

The picture is not what I am wearing but does show approximately how far hormone replacement therapy has changed me. Back then the hair was a wig and the rest was padding. 

 

Cha-Changes?

 

Pride picture from a couple years ago. 

Recently, I mentioned briefly about finally getting my application to the "Trans Journalists Association" approved. The hold up was the email mix up between my CyrstiH@Yahoo.com  old email and my newer Jessie751 email which is under my legal name. One it was resolved and they figured out I was a real person, the application went through. 

Then I found I wasn't finished. There is a sight called "Slack" which asked me to join too.  Turns out it is also a group of transgender orientated writers asking for input. 

Also, Google has announced it is doing away with it's "Feedburner" subscription service. Not to worry I guess because I received an email yesterday from a new service seeking to add all of Googles' former customers.

Of course it turns out there are extra steps I need to take also to make sure it happens correctly.

I am sooooo confused!  

Acceptance is Everything

Pre Covid Picture from two summers ago.

 As mentioned, Liz and I met with my daughter, son in law and youngest grandson for breakfast yesterday. 

Since it was Sunday morning at a breakfast only restaurant,  the place was crowded and we had to wait for nearly a half hour to be seated. I am sure too, the venue was having trouble maintaining help which made matters worse. 

At any rate, we sat outside on the benches and waited our turn. The only problem with that idea was we had to battle the cicada's which are out in force after waiting seventeen years to remerge, mate and pester everyone. Aside from being very ugly, they won't hurt you. 

When it was time to be seated, I followed the lead of my daughter and walked through what seemed like a large group of people waiting to pay and/or waiting to be seated.

I remembered my posture, shoulders back, stand straight and proud and act like I was happy to be there. Which I was. It worked because no one paid me any attention. 

As it was, I had my unruly hair tied in the back because the temperature was supposed to be in the low 90's. I decided to go for cool comfort and wear one of my light weight form fitting tank tops with a pair of jeans and tennis shoes. 

I blended well, had a great time with the family and felt as if I was accepted well by the staff and patrons of the restaurant we were dining at. It did my soul good!

Breakfast with the Kid

 Today Liz and I are meeting my daughter and one of my grandkids for a pancake breakfast. 

Then, this afternoon we are supposed to attend a long overdue Witches Ball meeting which of course has been postponed due to Covid. 

I don't expect much excitement but I will let you know.  

I Wonder Where she Is?

 For some reason, I read someone else's post about coming out to a spouse or loved one concerning being transgender, or even a cross dresser. In my world, being accepted as a cross dresser was much easier than being accepted as transgender. 

In fact, the only cis woman of significance in my life who tried to parlay my cross dressing into anything remotely against me was my finance way back in my college days.  Instead of keeping my gender desires in the closet, I couldn't take it any longer and came out to her. After intense discussions she finally agreed to go with me to a motel room and help me with my transition. It worked for me at least and I marveled at the novice cross dresser who was looking back at me in the mirror. Of course, even way back then, I knew the buzz wouldn't last. I could take what she showed me, apply it to myself and learn more about my femininity.

All went fairly well, until it was time to graduate college and the draft board was eagerly awaiting my induction into the military. It was at this time she found another boyfriend and laid down the line to me. Either tell the Army I was gay and try to dodge the draft or we were done. 

I knew that would never work and we broke up not long before I was scheduled to report to Ft. Knox in Kentucky for winter time Army basic training. The more I tried to forget her, the more bitter I became. As I thought about her, the more I wanted to return one day in the future in a new car looking beautiful in a pretty dress. 

That day never came. I moved away and became involved with other women with various acceptance of my gender dysphoria. I always thought my first wife never cared that much and didn't  'understand the difference between being a cross dresser or transvestite back then as compared to being a transgender woman which was becoming well known. 

My second wife understood the difference well and never accepted it until the day she died and years later I came full circle with my partner Liz who fully accepted me as my feminine self. Even to the point of being instrumental in me fully coming out of  the closet  and transitioning into a full time transgender woman. 

As far as my fiancé goes, if she transitioned into what her Mom became later in life, I may have gotten my revenge anyhow. 

If I cared :). 

Picture from New Years Eve (pre-covid) with Liz and I.