Why Trans Women Try Harder

 Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo I wrote a post on why men are scared of women. This post is an extension of that idea. 

In society, in order to rise in the system in most any field, a cis woman has to prove she is better than her male counter parts. Much better in many fields. I know in the restaurant industry I worked in, women managers were common but they all had to bring a different skill set than men to succeed. An example would be how they dealt with kitchen crews which required extreme coercion on occasion all the way to toughness and team building. Over the years, I had a couple of women kitchen managers who were so tough no male crew member would challenge them.

During those years, as I watched them work, I wondered how much more difficult the same task would be for a transgender woman in the same occupation. The answer of course was the whole process would be difficult to the point of being impossible. As transgender women though, we are a tougher tribe than we give ourselves credit for. On a fairly regular basis we have to gather our big girl panties and stare down the bigoted public who refuses to give us credit for being women at all.  I remember years ago when I received a comment here I couldn't be a woman of any sorts because I couldn't give birth to a child. Of course that isn't true because of the number of cis women who can't have kids for whatever medical reason or women like my deceased wife who never wanted to have kids. 

Other obstacles we transgender women have to face as we attempt to succeed in society is the effect of testosterone poisoning on our exterior presentation. After puberty most of us face an uphill battle to overcome our size and proportions to look at all feminine. We have to become very adept at the art of makeup and fashion to succeed at all. In other words, we have to become better than the average cis woman to make it. Not to mention the commination/voice skills we have to acquire. 

That's why we have to try harder. 

Truth

 

Scared or Petrified?

 In response to Why Men are Scared of Women post, "Micelle" wrote in and commented:

"I believe you hit the nail squarely on the proverbial head when it comes to men. I once had some guy define women, especially wives as chattel.

Back in the earlier years, before the 1900's, women were often treated as mere servants to the master of the house. They had no opinion nor were allowed to become educated. Their sole purpose in life was to have children, cook clean and tend to the fields/herds.

Spring forward to today's society and you find that men are still trying to maintain that dominance over women. But unfortunately after WWII, when women maned the manufacturing plants and kept the economy going, men started to lose that dominance. Women became more than just homebound workers. Yes, men regained their place in industry but women learned how to manipulate the industries. They still held the administrative sections. Men tried desperately to maintain the breadwinner position but found that they needed women's earnings, more to help move up to the better life.

Now in today's society, women have gained many footholds into the workplace because so many men decided to leave them behind for greener grasses so to speak. Women found that they needed to keep their families going without men. Since 1960, females have maintained a 50.5% ratio in the population and if all indications are correct the female population will become the dominant gender in the world. Also with intersexed births on the rise(at least the ones that are reported) and trans women coming out to the world, many men, who try to be dominate, will have to realize that they are no longer in the driver's seat. Women have become stronger, smarter and more diverse in their standings in life"

Well put! Thanks!

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Why Are Men Scared of Women?

 It's easier to say why are men so scared of transgender women but it goes so far past all of that. 

To begin with, many men have a frail grasp on their sexuality. Trans women represent the idea to men they may be gay. Plus, since we have spent time on their side of the gender spectrum, we may know more of the so called "tricks" they pull. The farther I transitioned, the more I wondered if I was as transparent in my dealings with women as men were being with me. I found out quite early in my transition how to "dumb" myself down if I was talking about a sports topic with a man. 

Men have a much narrower social structure than women. While women are building their lives around children they have and a man they love, men are building their lives around power structures such as money, sports etc.  All too often, a woman is looked upon as an acquisition of sorts. She must look nice in a car or on the back of a motorcycle. Then in mid life, women can be cast aside for a "new model."

Rather if it evident or not, men know women ultimately hold all the cards. Women have the children and potentially have the ability to live longer. Recently, more and more "glass" ceilings have been shattered. Including in previously male dominated areas such as sports. 

In baseball, the Marlins announced Kim Ng would be the first woman to lead a professional baseball team and more and more in football you are seeing female officials on the field. Then several years ago there was Patti Dawn Swansson, below the Canadian sports writer who transitioned on the job in Winnipeg (Thanks Bobbi). 

Unfortunately, many men are violent humans as cis women learn early in life which effects transgender women as we transition. Shielding ourselves from violent men is a priority when it comes to losing a big part of your male privilege. It's tragic when you consider all the trans lives which are lost each year due to senseless murders. Deep down, the men are threatened by the sexual control women, cis or transgender, have on them.

Finally, men at all levels of society have had to adjust to the push of women to succeed. Sowing the seeds of insecurity. With insecurity comes fear.  

A Transgender First for New Zealand

 A transgender Filipino woman has made history after being the first to achieve the highly coveted title of Miss Intercontinental New Zealand 2020.

Arielle Keil, 26, who was born in Davao City, Philippines as a boy named Andrew, but grew up in Auckland, New Zealand, underwent gender reassignment surgery earlier this year. 

The glamorous trailblazer, who is the first post-operative transgender contestant to compete in the Miss New Zealand beauty pageant.

The Interview

 Friday I was interviewed by a "30 something" college student concerning my lifetime of transgender experiences. I was selected because I matched the age requirement which was presented to the transgender - cross dresser group I am part of. The college student wanted someone over the age of 65. Naturally, at 71, I made the age cut. 

Most of the questions were predictable. Examples were how did I get to where I am now and what advice would I have for younger transgender women and men. I explained the steps I took to finally make my way out of a very dark closet into a very terrifying yet exciting feminine world. I went into the visits I made years ago to transvestite mixers close to my home in Ohio. How I learned very early how there were many different layers to the community which was portrayed as a strictly hetero sexual male experience. In reality, the opposite was the truth. Ironically, I found once again I didn't fit in. I wasn't part of the "A" listers who I described as the impossibly feminine beautiful looking "women" or the cigar smoking, cowboy hat wearing crowd who were desperately trying to hold on to their masculinity even though they were wearing dresses and makeup. It was quite the experience.

Even though I didn't fit in with the "A" girls, I still went along with them as they went out of mostly gay venues after the regular mixers. Slowly I learned how much I wanted to continue living as a woman and more importantly, I found I could actually do it. I was breaking loose from the chains of being confined to a Halloween only experience into a life with others around me who had similar gender interests.

Other questions revolved around the differences between the years involving the advent of the internet and various social media platforms. It's not too much of a stretch to think both events have had the most effect on people being able to come out of the closet and live a transgender life. 

We basically ended the interview with the most predictable question of all, "What advice would I give to younger transgender people?" My answer was probably over simplistic. I said be aware if you can live long enough to experience it, life is but a circle. Right now with the hope of a new president on the horizon, the circle can get rolling again. 

Remember though, even if the going gets tough, sticking together always has the potential to move us forward. In other words, do not participate in ideas such as I am more transgender than you are. 

When you look back to the days when you could be arrested for even going out in public cross dressed as a woman, we have come a long way. But we still have such a long way to go.   

Bambi Lake

 Bambi Lake, a songwriter, performer, San Francisco Tenderloin fixture, and former member of the legendary Cockettes — the gender-bending performance troupe that grew out of the queer spaces in the Haight of the late 1960s and deeply influenced modern San Francisco drag — has died after a brief battle with cancer. She was 70

Biden Gets Busy

From "The Blade"

 "The Biden transition team has named transgender veteran Shawn Skelly as a member of its agency review team as LGBTQ advocates are pushing the new administration to undo President Trump’s transgender military ban expeditiously.

Skelly, who co-founded Out in National Security, an affinity group for LGBTQ national security professionals, and served on active duty in the U.S. Navy for 20 years as a naval flight officer, is named a member of the agency review team for the Defense Department in a news statement that went out Wednesday."

Great news!

When Does Transition Cease to be a Verb?

 As with so many of my thoughts, I encountered this idea from Riley Black another blogger/writer from the "Medium" on line magazine. Riley brought up the idea of a gender transition ceasing to be a verb and then becoming a noun. If you are similar to me, I had to think back to my high school English classes to figure out what Riley meant. 

Finally my noggin started to understand the gender process we all go through as we gender transition. Is it always a verb as we progress. Or do we obtain a level when transition levels off and becomes a noun?

I have been in my transition for a long time.  In fact, if you consider all the years I cross dressed, I have been on a transition path for over sixty years. You can put it nicely and say I just took a little longer to discover my true self or...I was just a slow learner. 

These days, I have a tendency to think my transition has plateaued out and I know now what is around the next corner. On the other hand, life has taught me to never take anything for granted. Plus now, at the age of 71, I would be remiss if I didn't look ahead at the possible specter of spending time in an assisted living facility. 

It's looking more and more my transition will always be a verb.