Liz's Turn

 I recently completed my colonoscopy at the Veterans Administration Hospital here in Cincinnati, Ohio. During my visit I was treated with respect for the most part, except for one nurse who disappeared suddenly and  promptly sent another nurse in to finish the prep work. I don't really know or care what she thought. 

Liz was scheduled for her colonoscopy this morning. Since Liz is a cis gender woman, she had all the usual worries. She did really well though, as she emerged with no problems. 

So, the only people I came into contact with was the nurse who wheeled Liz to the car when she was done and of course I had my mask on and a very lethargic drive thru clerk at a nearby Starbucks who didn't really seem to know what day it was, let alone worry about dealing with a transgender woman. 

Since Liz had the first appointment this morning, sleep last night was hard to come by. So I need to wrap this up and get my nap in.

Stay safe!!

Transgender Thesis

 From Temple University, comes the true experience of a young adult's experience coming out as their authentic self, transgender. It is called "Halloween 1987".  This comes to us from "The Temple News."

“Halloween 1987” tells the story of Cory, a teenage boy whose girlfriend wants them to wear a couple’s costume to a Halloween party. She comes up with the idea that she dresses as Cory, and Cory dresses as her. Cory, although hesitant, agrees, and the night changes Cory’s life.

The premise is based on the real-life experience of Jenny Jae Cory, a transgender woman from Towanda, a small, rural town in Appalachian Pennsylvania. Bursic met Jenny Jae Cory while working as the lead media coordinator for the Pennsylvania Youth Congress, the state’s sole LGBTQ youth advocacy organization, according to its website. 

Bursic, a 2020 film and media arts alumnus, was in Towanda to film the LGBTQ pride parade Jenny Jae Cory had organized. As they talked, Jenny Jae Cory shared her draft of her autobiography, which included the story about her epiphany during that fateful Halloween night.

Jenny Jae Cory remembered that, at that time, it was hard for her to figure out that she was transgender because of a lack of information. Back in the 1980s, her main resources for information were her grandmother’s encyclopedia, her local library, and her peers.

“The only information you got was from your friends, and it was that you’re weird and you’re a freak,” Jenny Jae Cory said.

Although the film’s initial screening could not be done in person, Kenagh Babcock, the film’s producer and a senior film major, is working with the rest of the Halloween 1987 team to raise funds so the film can be shown at festivals in 2021.

“I think the world needs films like this so people feel seen, or can be educated about the experience,” Babcock said."

For more, go here.

Do You Pass?

 Recently, "passing" seemed to be a term which may be finding it's way out of our main vocabulary as transgender folk or cross dressers. Then again, maybe not. These days, if you can afford it, or your health allows it, you now have several different avenues to achieve passing privilege. There is surgery including facial feminization, breast augmentation all the way to genital realignment available for those who can afford it or have access to good insurance. Plus, let's not forget electrolysis to get rid of those pesky facial beards. It seems to me, after you go through all of that, you damn well better "pass". 

Personally, I feel hormone replacement therapy has helped me to present favorably in a feminine world. But that is just me.

Sadly, though, just passing doesn't bring happiness to many. A transgender friend of mine years ago once told me I passed on sheer willpower. Which I took to mean if someone had a problem with me, they could go to hell. While that was true in many instances, I still suffered the same paranoia other novice cross dressers or trans women felt as they began their journey into the feminine world. I could fill several blog posts alone with my adventures waiting for a stall in women's bathrooms. 

During my endless searches for quality posts to share with you, I found this one about a transgender woman in the UK who ran into problems just trying to try clothes on in a store. It;s called "Joni's Story" and you can find it here. Joni is below.  A brief synopsis of the lengthy post looks into how Joni was rejected from a women's fitting room and how the episode led her to an unwanted public life and a search to fit in with the butch lesbian culture. 

The end result of passing of course is how you feel about yourself. Sadly, no matter how much work some people have done on themselves, they still have difficulty finding a gender piece within.  

I "Doesn't" Know It Part Two

 Michelle sent a comment in checking up on Liz and I, making sure everything was okay. She hadn't seen a post for two weeks. Thanks for asking, but we are fine and now I am wondering what happened since it has been so long since she has seen a post. I am fairly sure I only missed a day or two posting over that period.

The only real change on my end was a big one. Google, the giant who runs the platform Cyrsti's Condo runs on has decided to change the whole system.  The same Google whose "Adsense" format controls running ads on blogs. You may, or may not have noticed the pesky ads disappeared from the blog too...with no warning.  

Google also makes it nearly impossible to interact with anyone with concerns you may have. 

The problems must be more than just minor since Connie has had problems too and visits to the blog have dropped drastically. 

Hopefully, all of this will be settled soon.

A Day Away

 Yesterday, my partner Liz had one of her group meetings at a small nearby local park. The day turned out to be a wonderful harbinger of what is to come as far as fall weather around here. Sunshine, blue skies and mellow temperatures made it the perfect day for me to go along, wait in the car and relax. It's always very difficult for me to relax, so yesterday was a very rare day. 

As my mind wandered, I thought of the two main things I have coming up before my birthday in early October. I need to get my driver's license renewed, putting up with a probable insane socially distanced date at the Department of Motor Vehicles and I have decided to get rid of my old car. In my mind it has become nothing more than a tie in to a past I'm trying to forget. Liz wants me to try to sell it but I just want to junk it as it barely runs and is ancient. One way or another I have to do it before the license plates expire in October/ 

Finally, I put all of those thoughts out of my mind and started concentrating on something important, like a fall wardrobe. Even though I will overwhelmingly be staying in and not seeing anyone, I still need to break down and get my hair done. It is getting so long, even Liz is threatening to cut it for me. In partner speak, she is telling me nicely the hair is out of control. I have someone in mind to attack the beast, if she is accepting new patients :). She is the former wife of a transgender woman acquaintance of mine.  

I also began to think of what portion of my fall wardrobe still existed and was wearable. I figured I will need a new sweater or two plus maybe a pair of leather look leggings I saw on Fabulous AFTER 40. For some reason I am craving them! I have added a picture below. 

All to soon, my morning shifted back to reality as Liz finished her get together and my day away from life was over.

 

Another Transgender First

 I remember :back in the day" going to Pride carried with it a sense of frustration. Normally the first thing you saw was a group of garish drag queens waving from the back of a decorated truck or convertible. It was all well and good for them but had very little to do with me as a transgender woman. The "T" in LGBT Pride was definitely silent. I didn't let any of that stop me though. I figured at the least I could represent a portion of the transgender community who were just trying to lead an authentic life while at the same time having fun.  

As time went on, more and more trans women and trans men began to attend Pride (at least here locally) and one year recently, a trans woman was selected to lead the Cincinnati Pride Parade. In a few other major locations, such as Los Angeles now the celebration has gone full circle as transgender woman Sharon-Franklin Brown (below) has been named president of the sizable operation.

We have come along way...with such a long way yet to go.

 

Just Another Meeting

 Last night was the monthly get together of the Rainbow Aging Alliance which was completed virtually of course. Nothing really unexpected happened except I was "volunteered" for a virtual Veterans outreach meeting in November. It was fine of course since I am a veteran myself. November is also the month for an "aging summit" hosted by the group which I am also very interested in. There is no word yet on how I could be involved. 

Speaking of being involved, I am going to add in a comment from Connie on the "What Would the Neighbor's Say" Cyrsti's Condo post:

" I remember, all too well, the days (usually nights, under the cover of darkness) I'd have to plan some Mission Impossible episode just to not be detected by neighbors. For a while, that game was as much a part of my gender identity as the clothes I wore. There was some thrill to it, anyway. At some point, though, it became tiresome and felt dirty and dishonest to me. Shortly after my wife and I had come to our "great understanding," I stopped hiding altogether. I even did some major work on the front of our house, exposing my feminine-self to anyone who walked by. One day, as my wife was walking down the stairs from our house, the neighbor across the street shouted out, asking her if it had been her sister working on the house! She replied that it was (deadname) he had seen, and told him my new name. He has called me Connie ever since.

What a relief and a great improvement to my mental health it was to come clean in my coming out. Caring too much about what others may have been thinking of me was definitely not taking too much care of myself."

I can only say Wow! My wife would have divorced me before something similar  to that would have happened. Looking back on it, it could have been the best thing for both of us. Which in all fairness to her, she said. 

Thanks for the comment. 

What Will the Neighbors Say?

 One of the most common problems many transgender - cross dressers face as we begin to explore a feminine world is how to actually leave your door to do it. Unless you are fortunate enough to live in a secluded area, it's quite the problem to just get in your car and go/ Back in the day, during my formative cross dressing years I lived in a highly populated area in a medium sized town where I was quite visible in my male job. 

For all the right reasons, I ended up doing the wrong thing and slowly became recognized as who was to become the true me years later. It finally got so bad, one night when my deceased wife and I went to a party, the DJ who knew me played "Dude Looks Like a Lady." It wasn't too long after that my wife passed away and I was able to live an authentic life. 

These days of course times have changed and I live full time as a trans woman but every now and then I meet a new neighbor during one of my walks. And actually I am on speaking terms with most of them. Except yesterday. New neighbors moved in fairly close down the street and the person I assumed to be the wife decided yesterday would be a good day to stare at me walking down the sidewalk. I figured it was all I needed to have a "Karen" across the street have a problem with me. 

Yesterday was trash pickup day and after she watched me take our containers backup to the house, she decided her curiosity was satisfied. I indeed wasn't trying to steal our trash cans.

It will be interesting if we have any other interactions in the future. 

For you Novice Transgender Women

 This quote fits all of you trying to find your way out of the closet: