Socially Distanced

Saturday night Liz and I finally braved the dreaded virus and went out for dinner. As i prepared for the first special night out in over ninety days I jumped in the shower to provide a fresh canvas for any possible germs which may come my way. Even though I was planing on practicing social distancing in our small group, one other drunk cis woman was too touchy and she didn't.  Hopefully, she was not a carrier.  

Other than that, the night went smoothly. I wore one of my silky maxi dresses along with my black flats. When I washed my hair (which is getting long again) I used a volume inducing mousse which really helped to give me the body of hair I love.  Especially when it falls softly across my shoulders and back. 

The venue we went to was a regular place we stop at quite a bit, we went fairly early and the place was very sparsely populated. I felt fortunate in that it was still open at all. The place we used to go to all the time declared bankruptcy and closed it's doors for good. Since the place was almost deserted, the sound volume was low enough we could actually talk. The cis woman I was writing about who comes with a cross dresser was somehow amazed again when she found out I was in the Army. I guess I don't fit the appearance levels she would think matched the Army stereotype, We also talked in depth about our relationships, which included her four kids she had before she was 21 to my long and varied list of fiance's and wives.  Even including how Liz and I met nearly nine years ago on an on line dating site.

The only draw back to the venue is the chairs at the tables. They have a tendency to make life very uncomfortable for my back after about a hour and a half. So we were able to excuse ourselves and leave.

It was good to get out!

A Choice?

Yesterday here in Cyrsti's Condo we explored the issue of trust when it comes to novice transgender and/or cross dressing women. During this post, I would like to preach to the choir concerning choice. 

The problem we have is as we come out is a severe problem with being selfish in our drive to discover our true selves. Often, we are so frenetic in our approach, we have a tendency to forget those around us. All of a sudden, we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. The rock is family, finances and friends the hard place is the fact we really don't have a choice.  The pressure increases if you are considering hormone replacement therapy. Unless you are on a radically different regiment than I am, you can say goodbye to most sex lives as you knew it. The prospect didn't bother me as much as some because in my own way, I had approached sex to me as being between two women anyway. Which did not meet with success in the bedroom with my wife. 

As selfish as all that was, it was the only way I could save my own life. I can't tell you how many times I wished I could just cross dress every now and then to decrease my desires. It just didn't work that way with me.

All of this led me to massive fights with my wife, especially on the occasions when she caught me breaking our pre approved cross dressing curfews. I remember vividly the day she told me to be man enough to be a woman and leave our relationship behind. As you can tell, she was wiser and I was stubborn. I had yet to realize being a woman was not a choice with me. Once I did, she had passed away before I made a total Mtf gender transition.

If you are a better person than I, try to look into your soul and take the gender path which is the most natural to you.

Gender Trust

Connie tipped me off to a blog post concerning a long buried happening I went through years ago. In fact, it took me years to realize how much my why didn't really care about my cross dressing gender tendencies as much as what happened when I lied to her about sneaking around behind her back. To clarify though, my wife never accepted any thoughts of me being transgender and beginning hormone replacement therapy. Before we go any farther with those thoughts, here is Connie's comment:

"My wife was so much more upset by my manipulation than she was about my gender identity and the expression thereof. When we finally had the big "discussion," the thing that rang loudest to me was her asking, "Do you think I'm stupid; that I don't know what you've been doing?" Of course, the "discussion" led to me trying to explain the "why," followed by "who" I was, and not just "what" I was or what I was doing. When a spouse sniffs you out, no matter how perfume-y you try to make it, it's an awful stench."

Thanks for the comment!  When I look back at all the not so intelligent contortions I went through to hide my other life from her, I wonder why I tried at all. An example was every night she worked late, I couldn't wait to get out the door and lead my feminine life. The problem was, when she got home, I had to be cleaned up the best I could so she wouldn't notice any excess makeup.  No matter how hard I tried, most of the time I had difficulty passing the scrutiny she put me through. Looking back on it now, I wonder how I even put up with the stress of passing twice a night. As a woman when I went out and as a man when my wife came back home.

Indeed the stench was awful since the gender issue was the only point of deception we had in our relationship. The stress was horrendous.

Selected

Last night I was officially elected to the board of the Greater Dayton Ohio Elder Rainbow Alliance. Due to my over active activity with certain social media platforms I am almost sure I will be pushed in that direction to help out. The only problem is I may have to cut back on a few of my radical comments on the worthless liar in chief in the White House. Then again, maybe not.

Interestingly there are three other women on the board who are also veterans. As far as I know, I am the only token transgender member. My goal is to provide  quality "T" representation to the overwhelmingly LGB membership. During my screening interview, I was naive and thought the other four people knew anything at all about a transgender person. They didn't. But at the least, they can now tell their friends they have met a trans woman.

Of course, my ultimate goal is to being able to speak to elderly care facilities about caring for transgender orientated patients. In other words, the closet looms large for us who are elderly in the near future. So far, there still is an elderly summit scheduled for the area in the fall. It is all dependent on the status of the virus by then, 

Perhaps in my small way I can help.

Georgie Stone

From Australia, transgender actress Georgie Stone.  Georgie was born on May 20th, 2000 in Melbourne, Australia.

The actress was born as one of two male twins. Unlike her twin Harry, Georgie embraced her female characteristics from a young age.

On Line Action?

Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have slightly covered the subject of on line dating sites and their availability to transgender women or men. In fact, over the years many have become nothing more than glorified porno sites attracting "admirers" of trans women and/or cross dressers.I have another experience which goes back to the very earliest days of on line chat rooms. But first, here is an experience from Connie:

"Maybe I shouldn't admit this publicly, especially just two weeks away from a 49th anniversary, but I dabbled in dating sites a number of years ago. I labeled myself "woman 'curious' about women," and I never mentioned that I was trans. I did say that I was married, although I was careful to always say "spouse" and never used a pronoun. I was not interested in finding a relationship; I just wanted to see if I could be seen as a woman (or be seen as attractive by another woman). I don't think the term "catfishing" had even been coined yet, but I guess I was sort of doing it. I'm not proud of what I did. There were a couple women who were really interested in meeting me, even though they lived in California. One was ready to buy a plane ticket to Seattle, and I had to be nasty to her just to get her to give up on me. I could have told her the truth of my gender, but that may have been even more hurtful to her at that point (or so I rationalized). I was scared to death, and never fooled around with dating sites again."

Thanks for your comment! Mine as I said goes back to the very earliest days of the AOL chat rooms.  I was married too of course and somehow had managed to establish a fairly regular "chat" with a person attracted to transvestites in a city not so far away. Even I was very naive and continued the chat until my wife walked in on me one day and found out. I remember it took me weeks to dig out of that predicament  I had put myself into. It was almost as bad as when I was caught sending of Polaroid photo of me cooking in the kitchen all cross dressed up to a "friend" who responded with a perfume scented letter. Again, not what your wife wanted to find in the mailbox. Again I had to promise to never go down that road again. 

My problem was technology stayed one step ahead of me and I began to learn how to contact others. Of course, after my wife passed away, I was free to experiment on line and you have been able to see some of the results I had shared. Looking back on the later experiences, I think I was stood up on so called "dates" in restaurants approximately two out of three times by men. 

However I did much better with women whom I met in person and my future was to be much brighter. 

Zion Moreno

Who is this transgender model?

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She's about to become a household name.

Zión Moreno stars on the new Mexican Netflix series Control Z, which follows a group of high school students who unfortunately get their secrets spilled to the whole school by a mysterious internet hacker. 

One observant but "socially isolated" student, Sofia, attempts to find out who is behind her classmates' secrets being leaked.

Zión is part of the LGBTQ+ community and reportedly transitioned at a young age. She initially started her career as a model and has since entered the world of acting. She previously appeared on TNT's Claws.

Among Other Things it's Time for Pride

With the world in agony over so many problems, it is still time to pause and remember June is still Pride Month.  The riots over the senseless death of yet another black man have reached close to home around here in Cincinnati with public curfews in the city over the past several nights. The only positive tie in between the unrest and Pride is as you probably remember the "Stonewall" riots in NYC were the beginning of Pride.

Around here too, all the many Pride celebrations have been cancelled until later in the year due to concerns over the virus. 

I simply ask all of you to join with me in remembering all of those who have gone before to secure the very tentative rights we enjoy.

A Transgender Powerhouse

If you hadn't noticed, transgender powerhouse Laverne Cox is and has been a spokesperson for Smirnoff Vodka. Here is one of her latest commercials: