Activism?

Since the Trans Ohio Symposium has evidently been cancelled, I have decided to look for other avenues to be more active in the transgender community. I believe it is crucial now with the  onslaught of over two hundred anti LGBTQ bills now being attempted in state legislatures around the country. In fact, here in Ohio, one bill has been introduced which would punish doctors for helping transgender children with their medical treatments. Plus, it goes without saying, theses bills are Republican dominated efforts.

In my own small way, I am going to try to be more visible, volunteer more and even donate a portion of my very meager funds to efforts combating these bills when I can. As I have written about before here in Cyrsti's Condo, I am trying to get involved with an educational effort with senior care communities (or homes) in the Cincinnati area on how to care for transgender elderly patients.

Also coming up is the Transgender Day of Visibility, an event at Cincinnati State College and one ladies night out at the main Cincinnati Library.

Hopefully, in some small way, or ways, I can do my part to help the present and future needs of the transgender community.

I feel my attendance at the cross dresser-transgender support group meetings has almost run it's course and it's time to look for other things to do. 

Gone All too Soon

Nikki Araguz Loyd, a Houston activist known for her commitment to transgender rights in Texas, died in November from a mixture of substances that include heroin, ethanol and medication designed to treat anxiety and panic disorders, according to the Harris County Institute of Forensic Sciences.

I remember Nikki from some of her earliest appearances on the day time reality show circuit.

The ones I dutifully recorded to watch over and over again. It was good to see she had made it to a point where she was an outspoken activist for transgender rights. Hopefully now she has found peace. 

It's a Man's World?

One of the first things I learned was when I entered the feminine world was how I lost almost all of my relevance when talking to men. I remember vividly jumping head long into a conversation one night with three men and getting totally patronized. I thought "Oh! Is this the way it is going to be?" Well, it was...and worse. Soon I learned I had lost most of my intelligence too.

After I had transgender transitioned into the world for awhile, I learned the truth. The idea men run the world is a myth, except for Washington. And, how is that working for us? As I absorbed what I needed to live as a woman, I learned the feminine rules I would need to survive in the real world. In other words what women did to talk around men or how they would bide their time until they got their way. The two "P's" of my new life became all too real. Passive aggressiveness and patience. Both were needed to get by in my new life.

So it may indeed be a man's world but women run it.

Sometimes I wonder what a person like Grae Phillips would think? Did he ever become so engrossed with being a female impersonator that he lost any perspective about being male at all. Or did presenting himself as a guy presenting as a woman provide him with the publicity to build a career? Since he does not read Cyrsti's Condo that I know of, I will never know.

Speaking of Grae, Connie had her own take on Phillips career being an entertainer herself:

" My guess is that his act is no longer relevant. Also, age is not a woman's best friend - especially in the entertainment industry. Shows like "Dragrace" have taken the novelty to an extreme, and this is (to paraphrase) no country for old queens. Not that Grae was ever really a drag queen, but that could be part of the problem of relevance today. Most likely, though, the whole act lost relevance for him. After all, he says that he only did the female impersonation because he was getting nowhere in show biz as a male performer.

As a singer, myself, I can only dream of having a voice in such a high register as Grae's. Still, unless I wanted to do a full-on drag act, there is not much call for a transgender woman singer these days. Of course, I don't see myself as anything other than a trans woman who sings, and I only want to be seen as that, as well. Even if I am, though, it's tough to be convincing when I'm a 68-year-old singing "Making Whoopie." I imagine that it would be the same for a female impersonator, too."

Good point! Thanks.

Heidi Phox

Back in the day, here was another fantastic Mtf transformation person I followed closely. I don't think I ever found out how she truly identified, as a cross dresser or transgender person but I marveled at her transformations. Here is one:

She still has her blog here is the link.

Eating Creole

Saturday night, Liz and I went out for our special Valentine's Day dinner. For the occasion, we went to our new favorite place to eat. A Creole restaurant which deals in all locally sourced products and features a chef trained in New Orleans. Fortunately, we placed our reservations during the week as the venue was packed.

For the evening, I went the "fuzzy" route with my over the hip green soft lace trimmed sweater, along with my patterned leggings and knee high boots. To combat the chill of the evening, I added my tan/brown fluffy faux fur sweater coat. If that is confusing to you, it is to me too! Let's just say it's warm and snuggly.

During the dinner and time we were there, we had a great time and if anyone noticed me being transgender, they didn't care or let on to the fact. Our server did a great job and the food was fantastic. I had the shrimp and grits.

All too soon, we finished our dinner and headed out the door through the crowded lobby and out into the chilly evening. Only one woman went out of her way to smile at me, I just smiled back and went on my way.

A good time was had by all. Can't wait to go back again.

Remembering

For some unknown reason, my steel trap noggin (which is seriously rusted) came up with a female impersonator from the past. Perhaps you remember too when cross dresser extraordinaire Grae Phillips took the daytime reality show circuit by storm. As I recall, Grae was a struggling singer in New York before he went the "Tootsie" route and started to perform as a woman.

I couldn't find any ideas on if he is still performing today.

If you know, please let me/us know.
 

MJ Rodriguez

Striking a blow for inclusion and queer progress, actress MJ Rodriguez has announced her role as spokesperson for the beauty brand Olay Body. The news comes just ahead of the 5th Annual Diversity Summit in Washington DC this week, where Rodriguez will deliver the keynote address.

“Olay Body is leading by example for other brands by opening doors for trans individuals like myself,” the Pose star said in a statement of her new gig. “I am so excited to work with Olay Body on this campaign leading up to my speech at the Diversity Summit. This is officially my first ever beauty campaign — I am so thankful to have the opportunity to show other trans women of color everywhere that they are seen and that they are worthy.”

Eat Like a Girl Part 2

Recently I posted here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning eating as a transgender woman and/or cross dresser. As far as I am concerned it is one of the true nuances of crossing the gender frontier. In other words don't sit there and shovel in your food like guys are known to do. I grew up in a small household of my brother, myself and two parents. Eating was very much a competitive sport between my brother. my Dad and I. We had a "Lazy Susan" in the middle of the dining room table. If you are not familiar, a Lazy Susan is a device to put bowls of food on and it turns past each person at the table. At our house, once it went past you, it was probably never coming back with food on it again. If you didn't get your share, you were just out of luck. You see, that is my problem with eating to this day. It is not a competitive sport.

To take a look at a whole other way to eat, let's check in with Connie:

"As far as I know, proper table etiquette does not discriminate between genders. The same rules apply to both men and women (or, I should say, "gentlemen and ladies"). Women may, generally, find adhering to the rules more natural than do men, but a slob can be of either gender (or anybody, at any place along the gender spectrum).

My mother was a stickler for manners, and my brother and I followed proper table etiquette out of fear of condemnation. My father grew up in a military school, and taught my brother and me how to eat "square" when we were very young (fork, level and straight up from plate to mouth-level, then turned toward mouth at 90 degrees, then repeated in reverse to take the fork back to the plate). At least my father stopped short of having us have to eat that way in unison, but we didn't dare ever take another bite until we had swallowed the previous one. I remember the trauma I experienced on my first day of school, when all of the other kids had gone out to the playground after lunch, and I was still in the lunchroom when the bell rang. A teacher had to console me, as I sat there crying. I was so afraid that I could not follow the school rules if I also ate the way I had been taught at home. The other cardinal rule, in those days, was that one eat everything on their plate, and that was what made for my dilemma. I just couldn't do it all!

Anyway, we learn to adapt. I'm not referring only to eating here, as this applies to anyone who is living, and trying to navigate, a transgender existence. Societal rules on gender-shifting may have become more relaxed in recent years, but, let's face it, being an out-trans woman is still seen as breaking a big rule by many people. We can adapt and mitigate through our behavior, though, and proper etiquette can only help to do that. I know that my world became so much better when I stopped being fearful of being seen as "a man in a dress," and began being seen as a good and polite person who just happens to be a trans woman. It's all I can do, even if I can't do it all.

BTW, a good way to practice more-elegant eating is to switch hands. If you're right-handed, hold the fork in your left hand. You'll find yourself being much more mindful of how you're eating, as well as slowing down the process to a less-slovenly level (and, yes, use that fork to eat a pulled pork sandwich!). ;-)"

Thanks for the idea but I am so clumsy, I would be guaranteed to toss food everywhere if I switched hands! 

Happy Valentines Day?

Valentines Day as a whole presents unique problems to those in the transgender or the cis community. To begin with, this holiday is one of those "manufactured" special days which benefit the greeting card industry as well as jewelers and candy makers. Plus, of course, let's not forget the restaurant industry.

As far as the transgender community is concerned, Valentines Day represents yet another lonely time. It's also a remembrance of relationships lost due to trans issues. Sometimes though, if you are fortunate enough to live close to quite a few LGBTQ centers, they offer some sort of Valentines mixers. If you are brave enough to go.

For the most part, Liz and I are going to miss the rush and go out tomorrow night to our favorite Creole restaurant for dinner. There is nothing more romantic than sharing a big bowl of shrimp and grits...right? :) As I think about it, due to my ongoing struggle with my weight, I will order my own bowl and bring part of it home.

At any rate, I hope you have a Valentine's Day which is memorable. If you even care.

If you do celebrate at all, good for you. You are doing your own small part to keep the economy moving!