Day Off

Today, (hopefully) I will be presenting a workshop at the Trans Ohio Symposium and enjoying a mini vacation at a couple of Liz and I's fave venues in Columbus, Ohio.

Tomorrow (Sunday) I hope to show you a couple pictures and let you know how it went!

Parting Shots

Well, my packing is done, including a couple important items I tried to forget...like the tickets of course.

Amazingly enough, Liz and I were able to make it to the Nail Salon early enough this morning to avoid the rush and get our nails done. I opted for the much simpler (and cost effective) basic manicure and color. Liz went with a much fancier acrylic two tone set of nails. All went well within the salon and I was referred to as "Mam" my my manicurist. Only one other cis woman (I assume) gave me much of a side glance, not that I care. But seemingly I do.

Referring to the trip and the resulting workshop presentation at the Trans Ohio Symposium, we received these comments:

1. FABULOUSCONNIEDEEApril 26, 2018 at 2:05 PM

   "So, you have left the closet, but you don't know how much of it you needed to take with you? Remember that the group on the Minnow went for a three hour tour, but the ladies had enough outfits to last for years on that island!"
2. For three years, I would have filled the Minnow by myself!
3. 
   "StanaApril 26, 2018 at 6:24 PM

   I use a spreadsheet to organize what I have to pack!"
4. Lol, I'm sure you do :)
5. 
   "Jeni SkunkApril 26, 2018 at 9:24 PM

   Yes, the usual 'fun' of packing luggage for attending an Event.
   I know that 'fun' only too well. It takes me about half an hour to pack for a trip down to my mother's, but for flying to an Event, about an hour."
   
6. I am probably on the same schedule, not including "quiet time" to try to figure out ahead of time what I will forget! Like the tickets and reservation information! Thanks to all for the comments!

Packing

If there ever is a time when changing genders becomes a little more intense, it's when you start to pack for even a short time away as a transgender woman.

My upcoming trip is only encompassing three days but it seems like much more. I have to dress for a couple travel days, then have outfits for a Friday night mixer and a long day on Saturday. Which includes teaching a workshop and going out to eat on Saturday night at a venue we go to every year.

Ironically, having too many choices to chose from is also causing me anxiety. Plus now, on Friday before we make the two hour drive to the Trans Ohio Symposium, I just found out we have to take one of the cars to the mechanic. So Friday I have to dress causal for the day and pick up the pace some for the evening.

Then, of course, there are the essentials to consider, such as make-up, under garments, shoes, medicines and the like.

It's definitely the polar opposite from my days as a guy and packing was a half hour deal.

I will let you know what I forget :)

Trans Ohio Symposium

Nothing really earth shattering happening this week as we approach the Trans Ohio Symposium  and my workshop.

As I have related to several times here in Cyrsti's Condo,  I am going to be speaking on "Wall's, Fifty Years" in the closet. My therapist was ultra interested in how I was going to approach it this week during our session. I joked, I was going to wing it but finally told her I had printed former blog posts to refer back to. Much of course is predicated on how many peeps show up, their age mix and how they fall under the transgender - cross dresser umbrella. One of the more difficult things to do too, is to figure how much time should be left for questions and answers.

All I know for sure is, the hour goes ultra fast.

I also found out the lead transgender care person at my Dayton, Ohio Veteran's Administration Campus is going to be doing a lecture also. I am planning on attending to make sure I catch up on any information I didn't know and to just meet her. I think I have but am not positive.

Outside of those two places I know I want to be, the rest of the weekend is set up to be one of fun for Liz and I. She is taking Friday off from her job, so we can get our nails done and hopefully get an early start on what usually is a two hour trip one way.

Finally, I am going to try to archive a couple blog posts for the weekend if I have enough material to attempt to write about!

Helping Others Erases Gender

Today, as I was attempting to meet my therapist on time,  I was going through the parking lot. As I hurried along, an elderly gentleman walking towards me happened to have his plastic bag rip open and his medicine spill out all over the ground.

Throwing caution and time into a brisk wind, I stopped to help him. Besides losing his medicines, he was losing some paperwork too. Fortunately, with the help of another person, we were able to retrieve all his items and get him on his way.

He was so embarrassed but he still managed to utter two thank you's before assuring me he was fine.

Between the feel good part of helping someone in need and having a man hold the elevator door for me, the fact wasn't lost on me that being a good person always outshines just being lost in my transgender self as I try to put my best feminine foot forward.

Life is good.

"C" is for What?

The Cyrsti's Condo post about being called "sir" at the clothing store, garnered quite a bit of reaction in the comment department:

1. FABULOUSCONNIEDEEApril 22, 2018 at 2:42 PM

   "Well, you could have said C, as in cross dresser. Or, after being called "sir", you might have thought of another "C" word in reply to her. :-)
   
   After living so much of our lives as men, it's not surprising that we refer to our past knowledge and experiences almost automatically. I catch myself making a football analogy or something else more "manly" than I might have wanted to say quite often. However, I try to consider the other person when making references, and I say things that will (hopefully) be understood and add to the conversation. So, I think that my conversations and interactions don't necessarily need to be much different than they've always been.
   
   The hardest thing is not what we say, but how we say it. Having a more-female voice is of great help, or course, but changing our speech patterns from male to female can make more of a difference. The proper accompanying mannerisms may be just as important.
   As a child (and still, as an adult), I would watch a Mickey Mouse cartoon that included Minnie, and observe the differences between them. Mostly, Minnie was created as a feminized version of Mickey. Beyond putting Mickey in a dress, though, the cartoonists made a few subtle changes that made a big difference. While it is easy to conclude that Mickey and Minnie are male and female, recognizing and implementing the subtleties in ourselves can be quite challenging. The last thing we want to do, though, is to end up appearing cartoonish in our presentations."

   I think this would have been one of the times to have a more feminine sounding voice to "tip" the gender balance. Also, she wasn't being negative, as much as boring.

Ithinfg

1. 
   Mandy ShermanApril 22, 2018 at 3:25 PM

   "Looking forward to the pix!
   
   On occasion I get the dreaded "S" word...and kind of ignore it. Enough folks do things right, that a few "misgenderings" aren't a big deal for me. But you're right...try to eliminate the characteristics that might cause people to say "Sir."
   
   It would be nice to do voice therapy. I'm a bit envious. But at this point, without being full time, I don't have a burning desire to proceed with it. And then there's always the wife to consider. That would not go well with her...she tolerates, even as I push the envelope. But I fear going down that road would be a step too far...
   
   Cheers,
   
   Mandy"
2. 
   Jeni SkunkApril 22, 2018 at 4:44 PM

   "My suggestion would be: C as in Crown
   After all every woman IS a Queen.
   :)"
3.              I must be doing something wrong. I have been called a "Princess", but never a "Queen"...which would be  worse than being called Sir! So maybe I am doing something right after all. Thanks to all of you for your  comments :)
4.             

A Good Question

I love it when I read another idea about the transgender identity which I have never considered. Probably because in my egotistical mind, I have considered any and all possibilities. As I think about it, seeing other ideas is one of the reasons I am still addicted to Facebook.

An example is one of the peeps I follow is a transgender woman who refuses to acknowledge the trans label, except to say she is transsexual. Plus, in her latest rant, she says the entire transgender community is just in it for the sex. Which is far from the truth in my recent history. Maybe I am just being naive.

An even better example was sent in by Connie:

"A theoretical question I've considered over the years is: Would I pursue my transition if I should lose my eyesight? My answer has changed as I've navigated through the different phases, but that original vanity never really goes away. I know that I do a credible job of presenting, on the outside, my womanly self. It takes a mirror, and the ability to see myself in it, to be able to accomplish this (although, I've made myself up so many times now that I could probably do a half-decent job without a mirror). Yes, my vanity would take a hit if I couldn't see my outward appearance, but I've become comfortable enough with how I see myself as a woman in heart and spirit that even blindness could not change who I am now. I'd still miss seeing myself in a mirror occasionally, however."

A great question!  Somehow I think I would have to continue my transition and hope the effects of HRT would help me to continue to present well enough in public.

I am so vane now, in most situations I try not to wear my glasses...even though they are women's. So, I don't know how I would approach it!

"C" is for Charles?

Yesterday, I finally grabbed my partner Liz for a girls out shopping trip. We did really well at a store called "Gabes" which features overstocks of name brand fashion clothes. I ended up buying four different tops and one long summer dress. I am sure I will wear one or two of the tops next week at the Trans Ohio Symposium so I should have a couple pictures to pass along.

All went very well, including the changing room attendant directing Liz and I to the women's changing rooms. After we made our decisions, she said you Ladies have a good day. From there, we proceeded to the front registers to check out. As I was paying for my treasures, the clerk asked if I had a rewards card and I said no.  After deciding I needed one, she asked for my email address. It's still under my old name "Cyrsti" so I had to spell it for her. She said did it start with a "C" or a "K" so I said "C" as in Charles.  I wonder if I set off some sort of gender reaction in her, because, out of the clear blue sky, she called me "sir".

After getting upset, I decided not to say anything because I don't hear so well and she sort of said it in passing (or not passing). I just took my purchases and took off.

Then I started to think, the next time someone asks me to spell my email address, to say "C" as in cat. To make sure I'm not sending anyone any subliminal signals.

As I thought about it further, I decided to include things like "Charles" in my next "wall."

In addition, my next "wall" goal will be to try to make the smallest detail of my feminine presentation a priority. As I have written about before here in Cyrsti's Condo, I plan on trying to get involved in feminine voice therapy of some sort and getting some new makeup techniques.

The whole idea has rejuvenated me!

You and Your Mother?

Perhaps I should save this post for closer to Mother's Day, but I received another comment from Connie concerning a Cyrsti's Condo post (Whose on First) about her Mom, so I decided to use it. It came from a comment I made which included the phrase "per Norm":

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEApril 18, 2018 at 6:08 PM

"Just to be clear, I never do anything per Norm. I do, however, do things per Norma, as that was my mother's name. I am reminded often by family members how much I resemble her, both in looks and in personality. That used to bother me a bit, but now I just accept it as an affirmation of my destiny to live life as the woman I was born to be.

Come to think of it, being compared to my mother is a label that has been put on me. I guess some labels are just inescapable."

Like many other transgender women, I, like I am sure many of us have spent a considerable amount of time wondering about our relationship with our mothers. It's ironic how close we were to having a "mother-daughter" relationship and never knowing it.

My mother and I were much the same, including the resemblance factor. We both shared the same restless personalities and a complete need to try to dominate the other.

She (my mother) was the one who suggested electrode shock therapy for me, when I came out to her after I got out of the Army. And it was me who took her first name as my middle name, when I legally changed it. I did it partially as an honor and partially to know I got the last laugh with her about being transgender.

I honor her because she went through the hardships of WWII and the Great Depression, which I guess "battle" hardened her to face the challenges she was to face having child birth. I was the first to survive after several still births and miscarriages. In fact, I could be the result of a hormonal drug given to expectant mothers back then who were having problems with child birth. The word is now, the drug could have had something to do with gender dysphoria. 

If I had actually turned out to be her daughter from the beginning, I'm sure my life would have turned out about the same way,...because she had her way of doing things. It was her way or the highway.

Obviously,  I will never know but on occasion it is interesting to think about.