Sunday, April 22, 2018

"C" is for Charles?

Yesterday, I finally grabbed my partner Liz for a girls out shopping trip. We did really well at a store called "Gabes" which features overstocks of name brand fashion clothes. I ended up buying four different tops and one long summer dress. I am sure I will wear one or two of the tops next week at the Trans Ohio Symposium so I should have a couple pictures to pass along.

All went very well, including the changing room attendant directing Liz and I to the women's changing rooms. After we made our decisions, she said you Ladies have a good day. From there, we proceeded to the front registers to check out. As I was paying for my treasures, the clerk asked if I had a rewards card and I said no.  After deciding I needed one, she asked for my email address. It's still under my old name "Cyrsti" so I had to spell it for her. She said did it start with a "C" or a "K" so I said "C" as in Charles.  I wonder if I set off some sort of gender reaction in her, because, out of the clear blue sky, she called me "sir".

After getting upset, I decided not to say anything because I don't hear so well and she sort of said it in passing (or not passing). I just took my purchases and took off.

Then I started to think, the next time someone asks me to spell my email address, to say "C" as in cat. To make sure I'm not sending anyone any subliminal signals.

As I thought about it further, I decided to include things like "Charles" in my next "wall."

In addition, my next "wall" goal will be to try to make the smallest detail of my feminine presentation a priority. As I have written about before here in Cyrsti's Condo, I plan on trying to get involved in feminine voice therapy of some sort and getting some new makeup techniques.

The whole idea has rejuvenated me!


  1. Well, you could have said C, as in cross dresser. Or, after being called "sir", you might have thought of another "C" word in reply to her. :-)

    After living so much of our lives as men, it's not surprising that we refer to our past knowledge and experiences almost automatically. I catch myself making a football analogy or something else more "manly" than I might have wanted to say quite often. However, I try to consider the other person when making references, and I say things that will (hopefully) be understood and add to the conversation. So, I think that my conversations and interactions don't necessarily need to be much different than they've always been.

    The hardest thing is not what we say, but how we say it. Having a more-female voice is of great help, or course, but changing our speech patterns from male to female can make more of a difference. The proper accompanying mannerisms may be just as important.

    As a child (and still, as an adult), I would watch a Mickey Mouse cartoon that included Minnie, and observe the differences between them. Mostly, Minnie was created as a feminized version of Mickey. Beyond putting Mickey in a dress, though, the cartoonists made a few subtle changes that made a big difference. While it is easy to conclude that Mickey and Minnie are male and female, recognizing and implementing the subtleties in ourselves can be quite challenging. The last thing we want to do, though, is to end up appearing cartoonish in our presentations.

  2. Looking forward to the pix!

    On occasion I get the dreaded "S" word...and kind of ignore it. Enough folks do things right, that a few "misgenderings" aren't a big deal for me. But you're right...try to eliminate the characteristics that might cause people to say "Sir."

    It would be nice to do voice therapy. I'm a bit envious. But at this point, without being full time, I don't have a burning desire to proceed with it. And then there's always the wife to consider. That would not go well with her...she tolerates, even as I push the envelope. But I fear going down that road would be a step too far...



  3. My suggestion would be: C as in Crown
    After all every woman IS a Queen.