No One to Bitch About?

Last night I went half halfheartedly to my cross dresser - transgender support group meeting and was pleasantly surprised. No one of the "sand paper"persuasion was there. By "sand paper" I mean someone with an abrasive personality. A nice group showed up, and I don't think I have ever seen so many covered and uncovered silicone boobs (for swap) in my life :).

I did get the gossip on a couple of the members I have commented about here in Cyrstti's Condo in the past and did get a chance to meet a couple of new cross dressers I had never met before. In fact about five or six.

I also was brave and set up the groundwork to go to a hair stylist in the future. She was very nice and even has a transgender teen son. Maybe I scared her when she asked was all that hair mine.

While we are on the subject of meeting other trans women, here is Connie's take on the situation:

"Well, your trans group experiences just go to show that the saying is true: If you've met one trans woman....you've met one trans woman! I used to cringe at the thought of some trans women I know exhibiting "undesirable" behavior in public. That their behavior is not desirable to me, however, does not reflect on me so much as I once believed it did. We may have the commonality of gender identity, but we are all different individuals, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I can be taken by others for who I am, a unique individual who happens to be a transgender woman. I hate the idea of being seen as a stereotype, so the more variety the public sees, the less chance there will be that I am seen as "one of those."

Class is a matter of personal taste, ultimately. I consider my own taste to be quite refined (thanks, Mom), but I imagine that there are people - trans or not - who would poo-poo me just as I have doubts about others. We all tend to gravitate toward individuals and groups who are more like ourselves. Again, I like the fact that I can look beyond a trans individual or group in finding a satisfying place for myself in life. I don't think that makes me a total bitch, either (well, not total, anyway;-)"

Thanks Connie!

It's Monday

This Monday brings about another cross dresser - transgender support group meeting. Tonight's meeting should be more interesting, as well as better attended, due to the fact a clothing swap has been organized.

If you are not aware, a clothing swap event is when most all bring articles of clothing they don't wear anymore (or were fashion mistakes) and swap them out free for other articles. I have never been to one, so I am going to be interested in seeing what turns up. Plus, if I happen to find a stray piece, I will grab it. I know for sure one member is swapping out her purple fringed leather purse, which I am going to try to pick up for my partner Liz, as she is addicted to purple. Plus, speaking of Liz, I am hoping to run into the transgender person who asked Liz to fix her two necklaces, for further guidance.

In addition, the group is bringing in a hair/makeup adviser expert. I have been joking with them about how could I ever improve upon perfection :) but not so deep down, know I am in a hair/makeup rut. So, depending upon how busy she seems to be, I may talk to her about getting my hair shaped out among other ideas. Years ago, when I summoned the courage to sit with a makeup adviser, it was a great success.

Finally, tonight's meeting is a "come" or "go" as you please event. So if I get bored, I can take off.

Shopping

Sunday my partner Liz and I finished the weekend up by going to an event called the "Festival of Light" just north of Cincinnati, in one of the regional convention centers. It is a giant collection of vendors specializing in an eclectic blend of the boho chic attire and accessories  I so love.

My best angle! :)
Hand beading by "Liz T Designs"

Do to size limitations (on their part)...I have plenty of size, much of the clothing wouldn't fit me. I did do real well in the accessory department though. I ended up buying six new pair of earrings, a new necklace and a new purse I really love. Plus, Liz bought me a lovely long skirt which I will probably end up wearing to the Trans Ohio Symposium. I called the whole collection, old hippie girl.

The real fun though came from the fact no one paid me a second glance. In fact, the only time I did get any at all was when I used the women's room and when I was recognized by a cis woman Liz used to work with a couple years ago. She was neat and said she always respected and liked my "story."

We finished up the afternoon by stopping at one of our favorite upscale fast food places. Again, I didn't get any negative feedback...from anybody.

It was quite the weekend and made up for a lot of negative learning weekends in my transgend

er past.

Sunday, Sunday

Yet another week has flown by and at least there were some positives around the country this week concerning the transgender community.

The head of the AMA (American Medical Association) chided "45" (tRump) again for his attempted exclusion of transgender troops. In Anchorage, Alaska, voters apparently turned down an anti LGBT trans law. In Tennessee, state legislators let a bill die which would have directed the state attorney general to assist individual jurisdictions with fighting anti transgender cases. Finally, Puerto Rico approved a measure to allow trans individuals to update their birth certificates. An issue which is near and dear to me because Ohio's antiquated birth certificate law is under attack in the courts. So, alot of positives happened!

Personally, Liz and I went out every day this weekend, including a rousing Friday night visit to dinner with one of my cross dresser-transgender support groups. Liz and I managed to enjoy a little too much margarita. She almost was loose enough to consider singing karaoke and I manged to drop my debit card and lose it, as I paid. Fortunately, our server found it and I got it back unscathed the next day.

Of course, the evening was not without incident as one of the other participants proceeded to try to pry her way into our server's good graces by telling her (of all things) her father worked with fascist VP's Mike Pence's father in nearby Indiana. The server was going to Washington for some sort of cause that our non illustrious prez wouldn't approve of. The cross dresser in chief totally missed the point the girl told her she wouldn't want to meet rump anyhow and pushed her on wanting to meet Pence. So much for ignorance.

The other alpha trans girl who has been "pregnant" hogged the conversation this time saying the doctors were checking her now for "embedded"  undiscovered female reproductive parts. I found the whole conversation to be interesting until she trashed my news about the VA (she is also a trans vet) having a new voice therapist coming to my VA hospital soon. I didn't expect her to do handstands but she could have said something other than she didn't care what anyone thought about her voice anymore. I was good and should have said, no one obviously cared if she wore the same two dresses all the time.

Before you think I am being a total bitch, I will say, I really enjoy the company of the six or eight other people who come on a regular basis. It's just I have never understood why some "alpha's" try to transition and never seem to make it with any class. Which isn't mostly all low.

As it turned out, the weekend had a ways to go!

Puerto Rico Steps Up!

From the Metro Weekly, DC, USA


"Court orders Puerto Rico to issue accurate birth certificates to transgender residents

Crder comes in response to a first-of-its-kind federal lawsuit

By John Riley on April 4, 2018 


A federal court has struck down a policy that prohibits transgender people born in Puerto Rico from amending the gender marker on their birth certificates. The court also issued an order requiring officials to allow those corrections.

The order comes in response to a first-of-its-kind federal lawsuit brought against the commonwealth challenging its categorical ban prohibiting people from correcting gender markers on birth certificates, even in the face of evidence that a person has undergone a gender transition.

“This is a tremendous victory for our clients and all transgender people born in Puerto Rico,” Omar Gonzalez-Pagan, a staff attorney for Lambda Legal, said in a statement. “The Puerto Rican government must now allow transgender Puerto Ricans to change the gender markers on their birth certificates so that they accurately reflect and affirm their identities.

“The Commonwealth’s categorical ban was not only discriminatory; it also was a relic from the past reflecting archaic views about who we are as a people and a society,” Gonzalez-Pagan added. “A birth certificate is an essential identity document. It is vital for identity documents to accurately reflect who we are. We are pleased that the court recognized that the government cannot interfere with transgender people’s ability to live as their authentic selves and that attempts to do so are unconstitutional.”

Maybe Ohio will be next!

Again, 45 is Just Wrong

"There is no medically valid reason to exclude transgender individuals from military service. "

Zack Ford | Apr 5, 2018, 10:50 am

The largest doctors’ association in the country is lambasting Defense Secretary James Mattis for signing off on a ban on transgender people serving in the military.

The CEO of the American Medical Association (AMA), James Madara, sent Mattis a letter this week — published by Politico — decrying the conclusion that a “history or diagnosis of gender dysphoria” is disqualifying for military service. 

“We believe there is no medically valid reason — including a diagnosis of gender dysphoria — to exclude transgender individuals from military service,” Madara writes in the letter. He goes onto to say that the memo to President Trump laying out the justifications for the ban “mischaracterized and rejected the wide body of peer-reviewed research on the effectiveness of transgender medical care.” 

That breadth of research led the AMA to approve a resolution in 2015 supporting trans military service. "

For more, go here.

Updates

Voters in Anchorage, Alaska, appear to have defeated a ballot measure that would have required transgender people to use only those bathrooms, locker rooms, or other “intimate spaces” that match their biological sex at birth, rather than the gender by which they identify.

About 16,000 ballots have been received by officials but have not yet been counted in Anchorage’s first election using vote-by mail. Updated results are expected to be posted later Wednesday, according to the Anchorage Daily News. 

As of Wednesday morning, the “no” side — opposing the anti-transgender restrictions on public, shared facilities — was leading “yes” by about an eight-point margin, 53.9% to 46.1%, among the pool of votes that had been tabulated. Due to the mail-in ballots yet to be counted, the Fair Anchorage campaign, which is fighting against the measure known as Proposition 1, has said it does not expect to call the race until April 6.

Plus:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) – A Tennessee bill that would have required the state attorney general’s office to defend local school districts over their bathroom policies with transgender students appears dead.

The measure failed to make it out of the Senate Judiciary Committee on Tuesday amid concerns that it could prove costly. One of the provisions of the measure allowed school districts to use private attorneys if the state attorney general’s office didn’t want to take the case. Some lawmakers saw it as a gift to lawyers."

Finally! A couple small steps forward!

Another Take on Me

Connie wrote into Cyrsti's Condo with a slightly different take on our "Me" post:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEApril 3, 2018 at 2:30 PM

"Always Something There to Remind Me"

I walk along the city streets you used to walk along with me
And every step I take reminds me of just how we used to be
Well, how can I forget you, girl?
When there is always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me.

As I've followed the path of my own transition, I have found myself, at times, at a place where I've felt totally myself. This is the place that has no label, other than ME; without the separation that the "T" causes. As in the lyrics of the song, I used to be so aware of my transgender status that I did feel as though I was walking next to myself. Over time, as my confidence and self-acceptance has increased, I have been able to meld who I was with what I was. In doing so, the "what" has almost disappeared from my mind, and the "who" has become much more clear to me.

How I'm perceived by others seems to require that they use a label for me, even if I've given up the label myself. Whether it's a face-to-face encounter, media report, or just a puzzled look from a passerby that I catch from the corner of my eye, there is always something there to remind me that the transgender label is still applied to me. The label serves to separate me, at best, into "used to be a man/now a woman." I imagine that there are many people who would refer to me, when talking to someone else, as "the transgender woman in the purple sweater" or, much worse, as "that t****y over there." A result of my increased self confidence, however, is that I now realize that what anyone else is thinking about me is really none of my business.

I see myself as an ambassador, rather than an advocate or activist, for the transgender community. With the awareness that I am being labelled "transgender" by others, it's my job (although it no longer feels like work to me) to just be the best ME I can be when interacting with the masses. My hope is that others will come to see me as the woman I am, and not how I came to be. As such, they may be more inclined to drop the label for others like me. Maybe I can change the lyrics to just "sometimes something there to remind me" one day, then."

Thanks!

Drafted?

I often wonder about what would have happened if I showed up for my military draft physical dressed as I deeply wanted to be. Probably, I would have still be taken and forced into the Marines, not the Army.

Ironically, Thailand, one of the places I was sent still has an universal draft for it's military. In Thailand though, transgender women can present paperwork and still physically show up as their authentic selves, to not get drafted into the male military.

Here is a picture of three:

Can you imagine the experience?