Estrogen Overdose

Well, yet another mammogram appointment has come and gone.

Seemingly, the toughest part for me, is threading the needle so to speak, and finding the place. It's in a three story building surrounded by the giant University of Cincinnati Health Center. Today, however the weather was warm (60 degrees F) and just a little wet. I only had to ask a couple of places before I found it.

If you are not familiar, a mammogram itself has just a little discomfort built in, depending upon how good your technician is. Either way though, expect to have your breasts squeezed rather sharply.

I consider the whole process a sort of "rite of passage" in my Mtf transgender transition.

Plus, of course, I have yet to see a man involved in the process in anyway. Just a bunch of mostly dour cis women sitting around. The only person who may have judged my trans status was a young aide who took the time to help me find the building I was supposed to be in. She was very pleasant.

As I left, I naturally hoped the doctors wouldn't find anything amiss in my X-rays, and took a moment to remember the pre -HRT  days before I needed a mammogram at all. Then, as I pulled up my big girl panties and tried to retrace my steps out of there and home, I wondered if I had gained any estrogen from the air today.

Transgender Playboy

From Germany, the editor of Playboy magazine says it will feature a transgender model on its cover for the first time.

Editor-in-chief Florian Boitin said Tuesday that putting Giuliana Farfalla  (left) on the cover - topless, as is customary for such magazines in Germany - was in line with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner's tradition of being "resolutely opposed to all forms of exclusion and intolerance."

Boitin says the 21-year-old Farfalla is a "wonderful example of how important the fight for the right to self-determination is."

And, staying in Europe, Trans  broadcaster India Willoughby has been slammed by Celebrity Big Brother viewers for comparing drag to blackface.

She attacked the art of drag after housemate Shane Jenek, who is better known for performing as Courtney Act, helped a fellow contestant, Apprentice star Andrew Brady, to transform into a drag queen. 

Trans Support Group Meeting

Last night's transgender - cross dresser meeting was interesting from a couple of different views.

I finally figured the participants who for the most part are giddy with excitement and do most all of the talking, have no one to talk to at home, so that is all good.

And, speaking of good, I have grown used to not feeling guilty about not having anything really negative to say about myself.

My only negative last night was having to sit beside the token transgender t-Rump supporter in the room. She just bugs me negatively on so many levels.

I also had a chance to meet another trans vet, and now there are at least three in the group. She was/is having severe problems with her hormone levels. She literally came up showing she was pregnant on her last blood labs and has been lactating through her shirts. It turns out she is a walking study of losing her family and lives in a camper she has to move from location to location. Mainly in state parks I guess.

My only contributions last night were mentioning my meeting with my partner Liz and long time therapist together (for the first time) and the Trans Ohio Symposium workshop submission which I actually sent in yesterday.

Another good thing that happened was one attendee who has continually threatened suicide in the past, was able to come out successfully to his two teen sons. To seemingly counter that was another trans woman who told her story of trying to commit suicide on Christmas Day.

So as you can tell, the meeting fell way short of having no drama at all and was far from boring.

Transgender Health Care

In response to the Cyrsti's Condo post "Are You", which concerned my conversation on the phone with the VA receptionist who was scheduling my mammogram. She asked if I was male or female, to which I replied "transgender."

Connie wrote about her experience at the doctor:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 7, 2018 at 4:12 PM

"When it comes to health care, nothing short of full disclosure should be deemed acceptable - even at the expense of hurt feelings or embarrassment. Still, discreteness should not be sacrificed for the sake of disclosure.

When I first saw my current GP, he had never had a transgender patient. He obviously had received some training on how to talk to a trans woman, but he was very awkward about it. The second time I had an appointment, he had either done some research or asked some questions, which made him even more careful in how he talked to me - worried more about offending me than in dealing with my health issue, it seemed to me. 

Interestingly, I was suffering from a urinary tract infection at the time, and he hadn't known the source of it until all of the lab results had come in. UTIs are more common with women than with men, but the source of mine was my prostate gland - something he neglected to check on my first visit. The antibiotic he prescribed, therefore, was ineffective. I told him that I was totally aware that my biological makeup was male, and that he could not offend me in the least by treating it as such. Although he never admitted it, I believe he avoided doing a prostate exam for fear of offending me.

My very first physical exam, early in my transition, was done by a doctor who is very popular with trans women in my area. I had not yet changed my name or gender marker, but I arrived for my appointment appearing to be all the woman I could muster. As I sat waiting in the exam room, the nurse wheeled in a tray that was covered by a white towel. The doctor, after a discussion with me concerning my general health and trans issues, lifted the towel to reveal a complete set of instruments for a gynecological exam! She held up the speculum and said, "I don't think we need this...yet." We both got a good laugh out of it, and she proceeded with a digital exam of my prostate (talk about killing a laugh...). 

Even if I ever get to experience the need for a gynecological exam one day, I hope to still have to suffer through the prostate exam. The alternative would be to be permanently connected to a colostomy bag, which is not the image of femininity I have for myself."

Thanks for your experience!

Let's Be Careful out There!

Tragically, what is believed to be the first transgender Murder/death of the year has been recorded in Massachusetts.

Christa Leigh Steele-Knudslien was found stabbed to death in her home on Friday evening. Her husband, Mark Steele-Knudslien, has been arrested on suspicion of the murder after he confessed to police that he had killed her.

An autopsy sound that she died from a loss of blood from a stab wound.

She also had blunt force trauma to the head.

The 42-year-old’s death has been ruled a homicide.

Let's be careful out there! Remember you don't carry the old male privilege with you anymore which helped to curtail violence . 

When you see all the cis women protesting against sexual harassment and violence,  don't think the protest doesn't apply to you too! 

Busy Week!

This is one of those weeks when everything seems to back up on me.

Even though the bitter cold is going away, we are expecting some ice today, which to me, is the worst of all possible weather worlds. Nearly impossible to drive on of course. Later on in the week though, we are expected to have temperatures rising into the mid 50's (F). Seeing as how I have the mammogram on Thursday, that is good news because I always get lost and have to walk a fairly long distance from the parking garage to the hospital annex I'm going to. I have the unique ability to go the wrong way almost every time.

Looking ahead towards the weekend, Liz and I have a social meetup meeting Friday and a pending small moving trip up to Springfield to move some pieces back down here to our storage unit in Cincinnati which is a round trip of about 150 miles.

Also, we have Liz's work holiday party (better late than never) this week to go to. It's a casual affair, so I won't have to plan much ahead for what I want to wear. However, Liz bought our tickets for her "Black Belt" karate dinner late in the month. It is more of a formal dinner and I have a couple of potential outfits in mind. I wonder if there are name tags we make, if I should add my preferred gender pronouns...not!

Many times I am torn between decisions and/or the idea of this is what I Mtf transgender transitioned for. It becomes fun until the night of the event, since inwardly I am so painfully shy. Unless, I make a concerted effort to smile, I come off sometimes like a snooty bitch. Not good.

On the financial side, this is the week I am changing banking institutions for various reasons. The only main drawback/hassle is changing over where my Social Security check is direct deposited into.

Also this week, are the final days to enroll in a couple on line blogging courses that are deeply discounted. I am interested to discover if I can learn more about the more technical aspects of blogging. We will see how that works!

So as you can tell, the week will fly by! 

More Transgender Power?

From the Washington Blade, these are the sort of transgender stories I love to share!

"When Danica Roem takes the oath of office in Virginia’s statehouse on Jan. 10, the country will finally have an LGBT legislative caucus where the “T” isn’t simply aspirational. For her historic accomplishment, Roem deserves the acclaim and unmitigated respect of the entire LGBT community. Not only did she demonstrate great courage in running as an openly trans candidate against a 13-term incumbent, but in defeating Robert Marshall she banished from public office a man who had brazenly styled himself “chief homophobe” of the Old Dominion.

From across the Potomac, we Marylanders who have long hoped to put the “T” in our own caucus, will find the day to be bittersweet as well. On Jan. 10, the Maryland General Assembly will commence yet another session without a trans lawmaker.

If we choose to do so, however, we can make it the last.

At the end of session, Sen. Rich Madaleno – in his pursuit of the governorship – will be vacating the Senate seat representing Montgomery County’s 18th Legislative District. Longtime trans activist and local political operative, Dr. Dana Beyer, has announced that she will run to succeed him."

For more, follow the link above!

Are You?

The other day when I was setting up my mammogram appointment, the receptionist finally asked the magic question...are you male or female?

Until I improve my phone voice, I have pretty much resigned myself to getting at least one "sir" before I correct them. This time, after I told the woman I was transgender, she was very respectful and said would "Ms. Hart" be OK?

After I said it would, her final question was, did I have any breast implants to work around.

Another person educated!

When the World Fades Away

This morning I tagged along with Liz to her karate class.

The class is split into two groups, one for teens through adults and one for kids. So, I get to encounter all sorts of age groups. Again this morning I encountered very little (if any) reaction to a transgender woman in their midst. I guess the ultimate test for going stealth.

As I write about here in Cyrsti's Condo, I always thought I would be the last person to write about going stealth in any kind of a positive manner.

These days, I see the stealth process as a natural progression into yet another stage of a Mtf transgender transition. Buoyed by positive comments from my friends and acquaintances (un-solicited), I have gained the confidence to move forward in the world.
Now it seems, the world is repaying me the favor, by getting out of my way and just fading away.

As Connie has written: "A trans girl's best accessory is her smile." I would add, once you get to the point of not caring what the other person thinks, your smile becomes even more important!

At that point, stealth becomes you.