LGBT Coming Out Day

Actually, "Coming Out Day" was a couple days ago, so I am a little late writing about it. But, here it goes anyway.

Coming out for me was certainly the slippery slope. I was entertaining the idea literally for years until I could figure out a way to do it as easy as possible. What happened to me was a series of gentle/not so gentle nudges from friends until the deed was done. They were viewing me as a transgender woman with no strings attached, so, why shouldn't I?

One person, my partner Liz, gets the most credit for making me a trans believer in myself, although there were others too!

My daughter's total acceptance of me really helped and there was so much more like being asked to tag along to events such as an NFL Monday Night Football game, lesbian happy hour parties and many others.

After much consternation, it all became increasingly routine as I reached the point when I could start HRT, retire, grow my hair out and eventually change my MtF

Pre-HRT transition picture

gender markers. Again it was Liz pushing me ever so slightly to be myself.

So, I can't celebrate an actual "Coming Out Day" as some do. I can celebrate though, my partner, daughter and friends who wouldn't give up on me until I got it done.

What is next? Living my dream of navigating the world daily as a woman after jumping through all the LGBT hurdles I had to jump through.

I'm walking everyday to help jump anymore hurdles I may have to negotiate in the future and maybe there will be fewer of them too!

Mile Stones

And, not the stone (chip) on the shoulder of quite a few LGBT transgender people.

For whatever reason, I neglected to mention I celebrated my 68th birthday last week, and on almost the same day, we passed the two million "hit" mark here in Cyrsti's Condo.

I would like to thank my long deceased parents for their tenacity in having me and all of you for stopping by the blog so regularly. Your comments make the effort sooooo worth it!

Thanks all again!

Going All the Way

Could not resist passing along this comment from Connie, even though it included a reference to a rare football loss by my The Ohio State Buckeyes. Oklahoma played us tough and won and we have a tough schedule the rest of the way, headlined by Penn State. Until Connie mentioned it, I wasn't aware anyone played "big boy" foot ball in the Pacific Northwest :).

"I have to wonder, in your Crossport group, if there are any who could...go...all...the...way!

Sorry. It's the middle of college football season, and we happen to have, here in Washington, two of the thirteen teams that are thus far undefeated. Sorry for your loss. ;-)

Really, though, based on your own experience, do you think you might be able to predict the future of a trans woman by getting to know her? I have known some who seemed to have jumped right out of the closet and into a full-blown transition. Then, there are others (more like myself) who had procrastinated for years before realizing that they were really transitioning all along, albeit very slowly. Knowing what I do now, I could have given myself some good advice years ago. That advice would probably be somewhere between diving straight in and dragging heels (pun, if you want it to be). I also wonder how much influence we might have toward someone else's decisions. 

I haven't attended a trans support group meeting for years. I came to the conclusion long ago that I can only offer my own experience as support, and there has been little support I can get for myself. I think that those with whom I may better relate are living their lives more as I do, so they don't attend those meetings, either. Cross dressers may admire me for my presentation, but I have actually experienced admonishment from the non-binary group for being too feminine. I find little value in participating in an often-patronizing mutual admiration society, nor do I relate to the often-confused gender fluid trans people. 

I think that I can read fairly well when a cross dresser is not interested in transitioning, even if they may have a fantasy of doing so. I know a couple who have gone into a transition by chasing the fantasy, only to find that they end up to be still a cross dresser - but with real boobs. One of those, I could have predicted as much, but I dared not give cautionary advice. 

I have felt for a long time that I have taken on a responsibility for others by being in my own transition, as we all should realize that it is not just ourselves, but everyone with whom we interact who transitions along with us. I can try to change hearts and minds better, then, through being a good example, I think.

Back to the football analogy: I might just be punting on this. :-) "

Yes, for sure I have met several cross dressers whom I thought were "naturals" for the change but for whatever reason never went through the process. Then there were the others who did it seemingly for the "thrill" and lived happily never-after.  I always speculated they weren't really transgender down deep and should have stayed in cross dresser mode. Which would have been fine since they seemed happier.

You Can't Put Make Up on a Stone Chip

Perhaps the title is similar to "making a silk purse out of a sow's ear."

Surprisingly enough, this Cyrsti's Condo post comes from my session with my therapist yesterday. We normally don't get into much creativity during the hour.

The idea came from when I described one of my fellow transgender veteran acquaintances to her. Being blunt, the trans woman in question carries a huge chip on her shoulder because she is transgender. No matter how nice looking she may be, the ugliness of the chip always seems to shine through. She is one of those peeps who seem to always find the negative in every situation.

I made the point to my therapist transitioning the body never does totally transition the mind! A big chip on the shoulder does not make for an interesting person, male, female or transgender.

The Man in Black and SNL

We received a great thought provoking post from Pat concerning our Jason Aldean/Saturday Night Live recent show:

"While Petty's song "Don't Back Down" is the definitive version and Aldean did a great cover on SNL I am partial to the Johnny Cash version of the song. Very strong.

I do not think that SNL hits all the notes. They only hit those that are left wing. There was no mention about Harvey Weinstein's 30+ years of making young women victims of his depraved arrogance. This is the man that Meryl Streep called 'God'. This is the man that has given millions of dollars to the Democrat party including major gifts to Obama, the Clintons, Schumer, Queen Nancy, Gillibrand, Cuomo, etc. Perhaps one of the most powerful people out there and not a peep from SNL.

Connie raises good points. You cannot push on a string. You can only lead a horse to water...you cannot make them drink. You cannot legislate interpersonal feelings. People need to meet us and come to appreciate us as the people that we are. We cannot simply call all people haters like that in house attorney corporate VP for strategy at CBS did after the horrific shootings in Vegas by referring to a good part of the citizens as "Repugs"..short for repugnant and then saying she had no sympathy for the people killed at the concert because in her view they were mostly Republicans. It is attitudes like this from the left wing power elite that get regurgitated and spread around.

I follow lots of different news and it would seem but for the left following the Alinsky/Clinton/Obama playbook of calling those who do not support their power as haters the amount of hate in this country would be toned down. Just look back at the Democrat supporter who shot Steve Scalise and other Republicans at a baseball practice for the sole reason that they were Republicans. He was able to get of 70 rounds without an automatic weapon or bump stock.

My views
Pat"

Pat, I don't think anyone would ever expect SNL to jump on the Republican bandwagon anytime soon. It would not surprise me to see them take on Harvey Weinstein soon though. As far as Johnny Cash goes, I agree most if not all of his music was strong!

No matter which side of the aisle you sympathize with, there is no room for comments such as the "CBS" VP made and I believe she lost her job over her ignorance.

As far as gun control goes, the only thing I have ever said consistently is, the crazies will always find a way to procure weapons. Just don't make it easier to do it! 

Thanks for the comment. 

Semi Busy

This week will be a little busy.

Tonight is another Crossport transgender - crossdresser support meeting. Even though not many attend, there is normally interesting conversation from individuals ranging from totally in the closet to those who have gone all the way through SRS. It's starting to get a bit cooler now, so I expect more attendees.

Wednesday is another fun filled day with my therapist and final trip to the attorney to fill out my probate paperwork.

Again, it is supposed to be cooler on Wednesday so I am thinking about leggings and boots for the day.

Other than that, we are moving closer and closer to the magik bewitching hour of Halloween. At it's best, a chance for those cross dressers and trans women still in the closet to burst out and strut their feminine selves or, at the least a chance for all of us to join cis women everywhere and wear something a little trashy.

A chance for you to add to your favorite LGBT Halloween story!

I Wont Back Down

For those of you who caught Saturday Night Live's opening last night, you would have heard Jason Aldeans'  cover of Tom Petty's song, "I Won't Back Down". As you most likely remember, Aldean was on the stage during the Las Vegas terrorist attack. It was a moving experience as once again, SNL didn't miss a beat with one of their better shows.

However, some of transgender women and trans men put our own spin to Petty's song, as we can never back down!

Recently, I received several comments on the subject and on our shrinking protections thanks to the current administration.

First from Connie: "...no longer enjoy such protections" is a loaded statement. At least I never really found an opportunity to "enjoy" much, if anything, in the way of protection when it was (presumably) there for me. There's nothing enjoyable about being turned down for a job with a made-up reason, so as to cover up the employer's own prejudice. In fact, it hurts. One gets over it by taking solace in the avoidance of working for someone who would only be tolerable, at best. Protection by law does not guarantee employment, and could even be a deterrent to it. I can understand an employer's hesitancy to become subjected to possible law suits, if not just the drama, that could come with a trans employee - even if they had no personal objection to that employee's gender identity and/or expression.

The greater harm that is caused by Sessions' removal of transgender protections in the workplace (and anywhere else he thinks he can get away with) is the general mood it creates. This administration perpetuates hate-mongering, and trans people seem to be a favorite target for them. At least, the prior protections allowed for some social acceptance of trans people to expand. Retracting any protections is like giving permission for the expression of hate. 

We are all supposed to have a larger protection - a protection to pursue our own happiness. Why some people think that being hateful leads to happiness is beyond me."

And from Stana about Petty himself and one of his videos:

"StanaOctober 6, 2017 at 8:53 AM

Some say that the woman in his video for "You Don't Know How It Feels" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TlBTPITo1I) is a transwoman. I was never able to confirm  it."

And yes, that was Stana from Femulate :)

Thanks, Ladies!

Second Class Citizens Again

In a not so surprising move, the "evil elf from the South-Jeff Sessions" took away the transgender protections from The Department of Justice who will no longer argue that workplace protections on the basis of sex protect transgender people from discrimination. That’s according to a new memo from Attorney General Jeff Sessions obtained by BuzzFeed Thursday.

The new policy reverses a policy put in place in 2014 by then-Attorney General Eric Holder. The fundamental question is whether denying someone employment based on their gender identity (i.e. being transgender) constitutes discrimination on the basis of that person’s “sex,” as protected under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. Holder held that trans people fall under that category, but Sessions has now reversed that and declared they no longer enjoy such protections.

Can't say I didn't see it coming when the new administration was elected. It is so sad and tragic to live in such a violence ridden country where I am a second class LGBT citizen!

Just think ahead all of you who are still in the closet. If/when you decide to come out, your legal protections are disappearing. Be careful of your vote! 

Tom Petty

Sort of lost in the Las Vegas terrorist tragedy was the untimely passing of musician Tom Petty.

Perhaps a little known fact about him was his support of the LGBT

transgender community.

In fact, in his later shows he included a picture of the late Alexis Arquette. (left)

Although Tom Petty's music will be sorely missed by many of us, his legacy will live on.

Another R.I.P! All too soon.