Dancing Skeletons and Swerving All Over the Road

We chat around here quite a bit on occasion on when someone protests too loudly about a transgender person and their rights-a LGBTQ skeleton of sorts may be dancing loudly in their closet.

Sadly, an overwhelmingly large amount of us over compensate over our lives for the gender dysphoria we suffer. Certainly, I am not covering new ground. You may have recalled Connie and I discussing a few of the reasons we played sports and/or joined the scouts or-or-or---blah, blah blah.

Last night, Liz and I went to another of our meetup group's get together. During the course of the evening, I was amazed to the point of even being shocked that two people out of a group of approx 12 have trans questioning offspring/relation. Both of course are into the struggles we all went through as we were sorting out who we were.

Amidst all of this comes the news that an ignorant, snake worshiping religious right group is fighting Cincinnati's ban on LGBT conversion therapy. I wonder if those are the ones who go home and pull out the gay porn. Plus, the proponents of the "conversion therapy" are quick to point out they should have the right to choose.

Of course I offered any and all support I could come up with - plus this group provides a natural huge welcoming set of arms. I am so happy to be a role model of any sorts. 

Particularly at this point of time (with the political "bantering/bashing" going on) I wonder how it all affects the younger transgender girls and guys like were talked about last night.

I really believe Trump could give a "rat's arse" since he gets more press going after the Muslims. But for any number of reasons (including basic transgender rights) Cruz and Rubio in particular are very dangerous.

I used to be basically a third party person but this election is shaping up to be a no brainer.. Then again, there is a long way to go. 

Hopefully the right skeletons will dance their way out of the right closets!

Cyrsti's Condo Remember?

From CNN:  Before there was Caitlyn Jenner, Laverne Cox or Jazz Jennings, there was Tracey “Africa” Norman.

In the mid-1970s, Norman was the face of Clairol’s Born Beautiful hair color (No. 512, Dark Auburn). She had an exclusive contract with Avon. She did several photo shoots with Essence. She was a house model in Balenciaga’s Paris showroom.

She had also been born male, although almost no one knew her secret, a story she told in the latest New York magazine.

An African-American model already facing discrimination based on her skin color, she knew that any hint that she was also transgender would have ended her career and could have led to her death.

When word did eventually get out, the work dried up.

“I was a model, so males and females were attracted to me, and when they find out that I’m not what they perceive me to be, it freaks them out,” she told the magazine. “That’s what I’ve experienced in my life, what I was getting from straight women and straight men.”

Read more of her story here.

Be Careful What You Say

Jackie Ryan was in high school when she first got involved in politics.

During a school board discussion in her small town of Sturbridge, Massachusetts, Jackie heard one of her representatives call transgender students—like her—a threat to their peers.

“I immediately sent him an email," she says, "and told him that what he was saying was completely untrue.”

When the representative ignored Jackie’s email, she decided to run for a seat on the school board.

“I think I originally got into it because I wanted to show him why my voice needed to be heard, but very quickly I realized that my campaign was about more than him—or me. It was about the Tantasqua school district.”

Jackie won her campaign, beating out a five-year incumbent for her seat.

Thanks Bobbie!!!

A "Red Ryder" for Christmas?

I am still being gentle with Liz about when the lap top will be "entrusted" to me to "rock and roll" on the web. Until then, I am moving fast in short bursts with posts! 

Recently, I posted about hearing an excellent live performance of Bob Seger's "Turn the Page" and received a couple wonderful comments back, believe me - I will get to them-thanks.

In this post I am turning to one of the all time Christmas Classics from 1983 "A Christmas Story."

In the show, "Ralphie" on the left in the glasses was peeing down his frozen leg (literally- the movie was shot on location in Cleveland) wanting a Red Ryder BB Gun. 

Didn't every boy???

Well no, I didn't and vividly remember trying to feel like I should in the 1950's. Something was wrong.

If you haven't seen the movie, it is a hilarious look at a family circa 1940's.


One of the best things to come out of the movie for me was the very simple imagery I can use from it to pass along to the transgender "uninitiated." I simply ask if they remember "A Christmas Story"   when every red blooded American boy wanted a BB gun.

I guess I should have accepted then, I was not going to live up to the standards of being that boy, and you know some of those girls clothes looked to be lots of fun! 

Oh well! Making up for lost time now.

Stand Up Straight Dammit!

One post we haven't readdressed here in Cyrsti's Condo is the power (and passing privilege) you can bring to your public presentation by simply standing up straight. 

I know in the early days of my cross dressing experience, I was increasing my height by wearing heels-then hunching over to hide it.

By the time I realized hunching over was hurting my confidence and presenting as a trans woman-wearing heels was pretty much out of the question. 30 plus years pounding concrete restaurant floors has pretty much taken any "resilience" out of the bottom half of my body. Plus the cis-women I am around just don't wear heels much. So I am OK being a couple inches short of six feet tall in boots or flats.

I am also very much OK with the increasing number of tall girls I see wearing heels and I don't have to worry about being the tallest in the room.

What I do have to worry about though is the thick upper man's torso I have. If I don't concentrate on standing up totally straight, I am exponentially cutting my chances of being busted as being born male. 

Now, if I use Friday night as an example at the restaurant we went to, no one gave me a second look. Just the owner and possibly our server knew I was transgender. Plus, I truly believe in some situations, certain owners consider it a compliment if "one of us"  chooses to make their operation a bit more diverse.

So, as we head into the holidays kids and no matter what you are wearing- remember what your "Mama" said "Stand up Straight Dammit!"!!!!

Turn the Page

No matter how I look at it-or want to do it-I feel like a kid again who can't wait for Christmas. This year though, barring pestilence and an/or extremely bigoted judge, I won't have to settle for the boys toys anymore.

Which brings me to the title of this post "Turn the Page"- a very popular song was done in the 70's by Bob Seger. Here is a little background from Wikipedia:

"We had been playing somewhere in the Midwest, or the northern reaches, on our way to North or South Dakota. [Guitarist] Mike Bruce was with us. We'd been traveling all night from the Detroit area to make this gig, driving in this blinding snowstorm. It was probably 3 in the morning.

Mike decided it was time to get gas. He was slowing down to exit the interstate and spied a truck stop. We all had very long hair back then – it was the hippie era – but Skip, Mike and Bob had all stuffed their hair up in their hats. You had to be careful out on the road like that, because you'd get ostracized. When I walked in, there was this gauntlet of truckers making comments – "Is that a girl or man?" I was seething; those guys were laughing their asses off, a big funny joke.

That next night, after we played our gig – I think it was Mitchell, S.D. – Seger says, "Hey, I've been working on this song for a bit, I've got this new line for it. He played it on acoustic guitar, and there was that line: "Oh, the same old cliches / 'Is that a woman or a man?' " It was "Turn the Page."^[1]"

If any of you have been through that part of the country, you can understand why the lyrics hit home. Hell in my hometown then, long hair (hitting the top of your collar) could get you shot in the wrong redneck bar.

Bottom line is my friend Ed from "Nighthawk" did a fabulous job with the song but I am sure little did he know exactly HOW much the music meant to me Friday. 

A Glass of the "Bubbly"

Not quite-but Friday night Liz and I went out to a local Cincinnati Winery to hear a friend play acoustical tunes and celebrate the very beginning of my gender marker changes. 

It was cool getting to dress up for the evening, enjoy a very tasty entree and my first taste of alcohol of any kind since the middle of last summer. It was even cooler to be called "ladies" by the owner and servers etc. Plus interestingly, the owner seemed to be overly entranced he had a real live transgender woman in his restaurant.

Perhaps though, the "bestest" part of the evening was when I went to the ladies room after dinner and all so briefly thinking Wow! In an so enticingly short period of time, my "M" will be wiped off my ID's and changed to "F". 

Now, I know my journey is far from over and most certainly I can be my own most paranoiac enemy but in the mean time when I saw the "Woman" sign on the door-I felt I had really arrived.

Then, I had to really go!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition."

Ker Plunk! Listen up! Another Sunday Edition is hitting your virtual front porch. Just a mile or so of the Ohio River we are experiencing record warm temps and no violent weather-for awhile. Example? The Bengals/Squeelers Football game here in Cincinnati today is expected to be dry with highs near 70. For all of you who aren't so fortunate, I am sending all the good vibes I can! Now, let's get started.

Page One-the Week that Was - or Wasn't: Selfishly, the week for me was one of ups and sniffles. Been feeling under the weather, but mixed in with all of that was a trip to the VA and discovering somehow they had been keeping my gender change a secret. However, being the VA-they changed my gender but not my name so I became sort of a reverse of the old Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue." - a girl named a boy's name. However, the whole problem is expected to be fixed when I get my legal name change completed December 23rd. Which brings us to Page Two:

Page Two-Wiping the Slate Clean: Obviously it is a huge deal to have your gender markers changed. A move which has become (more and more) one of choice and not of expensive/painful surgery which was/is out of most of us's reach - if we wanted it or not. Now increasingly, stories of legal gender liberation are becoming part of the public consciousness. Here is Connie's:

"As of yesterday afternoon, I have finally jumped through the name-change hoop, myself! I was approaching it like just another hoop, anyway, but the judge was more emotional about it than I - treating it more like a ceremony than a legal formality. In fact, the whole courtroom broke out in applause as I exited! I managed to hold back the tears until half-way across the parking lot. I had intended to go directly to the Dept. of Licensing to get my new driver license, but I'd totally ruined my makeup before I made it to my car, and there was no way I was going to have that face on my new license. I can't believe that I waited so long to do this, but at least I didn't wait until I was as old as you are, Cyrsti (or whatever your new name is). HaHa. I have to say that this is all pretty cool - don't you think? BTW, I did not include the "fabulous" for my new legal name, but it sure makes me feel that way. :-)"

OK!!!! YAY! I am so happy for you Connie!!! (Regardless of the cheap shots!)  FYI The outgoing judge I am seeing also has refused to sign same sex marriage licenses like the snake woman down in Kentucky but Ohio for once has figured how to sweep it under the rug-or his robes. And, the court "room" has about 15 seats and my "case" should be about the last before they shut down for Christmas.

Page Three-Looking Back and Forward: Looking back, I have always "blamed" Connie for the Cyrsti's Condo blog. We "met" on the same "social" blog which was heavily dominated by who I used to call the "trans nazi's" or purists. I used to write about my crazy stories as I sought my true gender and got "bashed" by more than a couple of them. What?? Have fun??? How dare you??? And when is your surgery scheduled anyhow?

It was Connie who suggested I write my own blog. I asked how it was spelled? 

Finally Connie, either at your age you have a great memory (or were guessing), my legal name will be a mix of my maternal grandfather's name and my Mom's. Being rather superstitious, I have been very guarded about telling anyone what it will be. Ironically though, I have sort of painted myself into a corner because my whole life now is built around peeps who have always known me as Cyrsti. Never was a good painter though!

Page Four-The Back Page: Well, got to go kids. Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!! Love you all!

Nikki's Long Journey

Connie passed along this story of a transgender veteran's life of being terribly discriminated against following a decision by the U.S Military- which began in 1967.

Few remember the pressure the military could bring on your life back then if you didn't "do your duty" - stay firmly in your closet and earn an honorable discharge. For the greatest majority of the transgender troops (still basically unknown) in those days- we could and were dumped into the "gay" category and discharged-at the best with a general discharge. Let's get back to the present and Nikki's story:

"Nikki never dreamed that she would be buying a house in Salem, Oregon with a loan from the VA: “At 72, I didn’t think I would ever see the day that I received an honorable discharge from the U.S. Air Force. In 1967, I was outed as gay and given a ‘general discharge under less than honorable conditions.’ It took them 48 years to recognize the contributions of this bisexual, bigender veteran.”

Nikki had been the internal information officer who was in charge of the Air Force base’s weekly newspaper and coordinating the commanding general’s monthly “Commanders’ Call” bulletins and speeches. She* received accolades from the Pentagon for this monthly work.

One night in 1967, she was pulled into a dark hallway by two members of the Air Force Office of Special Investigation. They threatened Nikki, telling her they knew she was gay and trying to pressure her to admit it. These psychological games continued, and Nikki was terrified of what would happen to her.

When it came to a head, her commanding general gave her the choice of being officially charged with being gay, facing a court martial, and having that be on her permanent record, or signing a paper that resigned her commission “for the good of the service.”

Nikki signed.

Take a look at the rest of her story here: written by Katie Carter.

Just another example of how the US military system just may have kicked their best fighters out of the system