The Positives of a Bad Attitude?

Someone said "when you have lemons, make lemonade." Did anyone ever say "when you have a bad attitude-wear it well?" No probably not. Everyone is too busy trying to pound the round peg into a round hole. (Or the square one.) I too am guilty as charged of course. 

It's easy to blame everything on my Mom and most certainly I can toss her under the bus on this one too. After all, her mantra was "don't care what everyone else thinks." What she missed in the fine print was don't care until it effects her. 

So, as I continue to figure out the light at the end of the tunnel is not the train on my transgender journey-who the hell told me I couldn't do this?

Probably the same ones who told me I would never get into the American Forces Radio and Television Service when I was drafted. 

And, the same ones who told me cross dressers should never wear pants and always wear heels and hose.

Yes, all of them.

Don't panic though, just to even things out-I make sure I am doing enough stupid things to make sure the round hole I am in feels more comfortable. In fact, after all these years of staring down the tunnel looking for the train is getting a bit old.

Oh well, I am sure I can find another cause to resurrect another bad attitude rant.

Cyrsti's Condo - Ooops???

Unidentified Pinterest Pix.

Dammit! Is this guy ever going to quit looking up my dress? 

Freebie and the Bean

Freebie and the Bean was a 1974 "action/comedy" film with Alan Arkin and James Caan. It was on last night on Turner Classic Movies who were doing a "collection" of Arkin's films.

If you have never seen it, the film features the best and worst of whatever you wanted to call the LGBT community during that era. The "worst" was the "hit man" was actually a cross dressing female impersonator played by Christopher Morley. (left)

Back "in the day" there was absolutely no "T" in the LGB and when we were seen in the media, it was normally in a very bad role.

The "best" part was that Morley presented incredibly well in the movie as a woman!

Fortunately today, most of that era seems to be a bad dream-like most of the cars in the movie!!!

Brew Ha Ha

This whole weekend, Downtown Cincinnati hosts an event called "Brew Ha Ha." It's right along the Ohio River and this year the proceeds are going to finding a cure for childhood cancer. It's called "The Cure Starts Now"

As good fortune would have it, the weather was flat out beautiful, the 42 craft beers were great, the food was tasty and the comedy? - Well- I suppose you could almost call it that. A main stage showcased the "paid" comedians while several small ones all the rest. Very early in the evening it became evident how difficult comedy must really be. 

Of course as the beer and the evening progressed, Liz and I began to talk about transgender comedians. I said I had heard about a few like Julia Scotti   from New Jersey.

The problem with trans comedy as I see it is, we are light years away from laughing at ourselves. Let alone inviting others to do it. Then I put together an example or two. Would telling a crowd how unfunny getting smirked at in malls back in my cross dressing days be? Finally though,I did come up with a few ideas like dealing with guys who are intimidated when I actually know who The Ohio State quarterback was in 1968. Perhaps women would internally smile when I talk about falling in heels, and the men would smile about sports jokes-but is any of that comedy?

Personally, my problem is I am such a cynic and smart arse. (Surprise?) Plus I have little or no fear speaking to the public. My tendency would be to be as politically incorrect as the group I would be speaking to. 

What a thin line to walk! Turning such a very non humorous facet of my life into a different public forum.

All without getting beat up after the show and not because I am transgender! 

It's Time To Stand Up and be Counted!

Take it here!

Wait? Another Transgender Woman?

I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo on how I am rarely in the present world. I exist in other dimensions quite well. It's one of the reasons I did so well in the restaurant management business-I was always working ahead.

At any rate, Thursday when Liz and I went to the Dayton, Ohio VA, I was hanging out in the main hallway when she used the Ladies "Potty". About ten minutes later she came out and excitedly said "Did you see the trans woman?" Well, I didn't and was not going to chase her into the rest room.

As it was, Liz said the transgender woman about knocked her down coming in. I said one of two things were happening. Either she (the trans woman) had to pee really bad or she was really scared. As it was, a janitor was working on cleaning the nearby men's room and had the hallway partially blocked.

Of course I do wish I would have had the chance to meet up face to face with another trans vet. I do know of one who used to work at the nearby Wright Patterson AFB. She always has claimed she harassed out of her civilian contractor job-which we all know was/is extremely possible.

In the meantime, it is comforting to know I am not alone. 

"Transgender" Markers Part 12?II

I suppose it doesn't really matter where I start with yesterday's "fun" at the VA with Liz (this time) to hold my hand. As I have mentioned too many times to count here in Cyrsti's Condo, again I need to  discuss gender markers with you. Often not a pleasant story as we hear from Shelle : 

"Over here in Hoosier land(Indiana) they really have my transition experience about as hosed up as it can be, my HRT is handled not by a transgender doctor but by an endocrinologist in Indianapolis, the rest of my treatment is handled here locally by a mental heath person, who's main thrust has been to see that any anxiety I have is treated by a pill 'Sertraline' otherwise known as Zoloft. Getting anyone to commit to my gender marker issues seems foreign to them" 

Thanks Shelle, I wish you the best! I have been fortunate in that my VA Center seems to be extremely sensitive to transgender needs to the point of being proud about it. Having said that though, I had to fight for nearly two years to get my endocrinologist care under the same "roof" so to speak. (I too have never had a 'transgender doctor')

Also, as I embark on the "gender marker" trip the people at the VA I will be dealing with have quite a bit of experience with me. In fact-one has three years and is the psychologist who initially approved my HRT.  The other is a therapist who gets along with me well too. Perhaps (and I hope I am not overly speculating on Shelle's comment) I am heavily "monitored" because I am "bi-polar" too. My struggle with them has been over the years has been to separate being trans from bi-polar. You can't necessarily connect the dots with me. I do understand though the connection between adding estrogen into the mix and extra depression.

Truthfully, it's a constant battle for me. I have always called my moods "battling my demons" and sometimes they were wearing dresses. Therapists seem to understand that. Plus, once I accepted they should be wearing dresses, my life was happier.

As far as going forward, it has been such a long time since I have had an appointment with the psychologist who can/maybe/will sign off on my gender marker request, I may have to start lower in the mental health VA system and work my way back to her. (Not a problem.) 

As I understand it, all the "shrinks" meet today for a "consult" and I will find out what's going on tomorrow (Thursday) I do know the key to my decision will probably be the tight knit ever growing group of family and friends who accept me as a transgender woman.

Bless them all!

Too Damn Much - Too Damn Soon?

It's late, so I am going to write this before eating a late night salad and going to bed.

The big happenings today-before I forget (and I will) was the other transgender woman veteran Liz saw at the VA hospital today, and the LGBT Equality sticker I saw at the receptionist's window (Wow!)as I was setting up an appointment to start the gender marker process.

I was amused at how many times she did her best not to mis-pronoun me in the process AND act like she wasn't.'

And finally, going to Liz's Knitting Group tonight at a Panera's. No, I didn't knit-but I wrote.

More on all of this later!!!  

"Marking" the Future.

I am fairly sure I talk about gender markers, how the process works and how much I procrastinate about starting/completing the process more than the Republican prez candidates talk about hating all Obama does.

My latest "excuse" was waiting for some sort of a definitive answer on my health concerns which seem for the most part stem from a form of sun poisoning. The medical process literally was taking me at least once a week to my local or regional Veteran's Administration medical centers. So, to even consider going back to the VA to secure the therapist documents to begin the process was intimidating.

But Tuesday, when yet again I am back at the VA ( since I found out the psychologist who paved the way for my HRT is still there)-it's going to be appointment time again!