Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

Bad advice:"If I was you...Well you aren't, so move on."
From the Hart.

Changing of the Seasons

Yesterday of course was the first day of Spring or the Spring Equinox.  As such, Liz's Wicca group celebrated with a meet up.  As I have said several times here in Cyrsti's Condo, I am still very much the "new kid" in the group. Also, many of the rituals mean something different to me. A prime example was last night.

Rather than celebrating the actual rebirth of the Earth around us after a long dreary winter, (Yay!) I saw the process as a celebration of Spring arriving in my life. I was putting my old life behind me (winter) and most importantly, the future possibilities are endless.

The true shame would be if I didn't make the most of them!

Salted Rum Martini's and More!

This is one of those 'catch all' Cyrsti's Condo posts.

My current diet has sadly 'weaned' me from my love of craft beer, or at the least, slowed my consumption. Rightly or wrongly though, I have picked up tasty adult beverage 'supplements' . My latest find is called a "Salted Rum Martini". It's incredibly good - made with Rumchata, Salted Karamel Stoli Vodka, mixed in a martini glass drizzled with caramel. It's also an incredibly "girly drink" to sit at a bar  and sip. Notice I said "sip"!

Next, congrats go out to Paula (across the pond in Britain) who finished the process of changing her gender markers! Many don't realize a transgender transition process involves much more than mere passing privilege. Way to go Paula!

Finally, for all of you who know my partner Liz is a Wicca. Yesterday, she located an on line book on the subject of transgender pagans. I will be downloading it soon and pass along anything I find interesting.

Plus, I just can't end this post without mentioning the incredibly dangerous bill which passed in Indiana which could block all kinds of LGBT freedoms under the guise of personal 'religious freedom." The biggest problem of course is we trans are more visible than the 'L's n G's". It is easier to "hide gay" which makes us a bigger target. Fortunately movements are underway to shine the spotlight on companies not to support in Indiana. On Twitter look for #BoycottIndiana.

YOU Are the Only Reality

I will direct you to a couple of the "Fabulous Connie Dee" comments in a moment but in the mean time, she brought a great point about her health situation and the effect it has on her chances to even start HRT. She took her points to a conclusion that the only reality which mattered to her-was her. Who cares about the Zoey Tur's and the trans trolls of the world? Right, so true Connie but aren't they an easy target?


Most certainly, most of the world doesn't care. Every couple of Thursday's, Liz and I go to meetup group of peeps who range from artists,to writers to other so called creative peeps.  When I join in a conversation with any of them, I don't (number one) out myself. I do give them a blog biz card plus a "Stiletttos on Thin Ice" book promo card. Even with those self promo items, I am not outing myself as such.  Why? I don't believe either define me as a person.  Plus, if someone cares enough-here I am.

I suppose I have entered a new entered of awareness in my Mtf gender transition. I'm not stealth, I just am.  Which leads me right back to Connie's reality.  We are the same age and we fought for decades to "find"ourselves. If you are spending time looking back at your eyes in the mirror, the unfortunate reality is, if you are transgender-first of all try to get into the world and try it out for size. Remember though, one size does not fit all. Chances are if you find the right size-you were born with it.

At that point, it's time for you to seriously begin to explore your own transgender reality-right Mandy?

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

Bad decisions have a way of jumping in with other bad decisions and having a party.

From the Hart

No Where to Run-Or to Hide

Sometimes I get lost in being a gender victim. After all, the subject is what Cyrsti's Condo is all about, not what generics go through growing up. Every once in a while, Liz gets fed up with my whining and gives me an insight into her early and teen life. For every example I have of being chosen last for a boys sports team, she has two. Not only did she had to face the taunts of the boys, she had to face the girls too.

All that time and all the way into the Army, I always thought girls had it easier. After all, generics didn't get drafted, didn't have to agonize to find the courage to ask for a date and got to wear those short cheerleader uniforms while I was getting destroyed on the field by a pulling offensive guard. Forget all those shallow reasons, neither gender has greener grass.

So, if by some sort of magic though, if I was given a gender choice and knowing what I know now, I would have been a terrible cheerleader. On the other hand, there would be no doubt I would pick growing up girl. Why? I would not have to wake up every morning wondering how to run or hide from my gender dysphoria.

Transgender Ageing and the Cult of Impatience

I get tired of boring titles to my Cyrsti's Condo posts, as you can tell. Possibly, a better title for this post would have been-"Are we there yet?"

Since we have waited so long to gender transition, at times being patient about the changes of HRT is to say the least difficult. Not to mention bringing years of life to a screeching halt and learning another.

In fact, I am ranking this as my number three "surprise". I started all of this believeing I could basically relax and enjoy the process. The truth quickly became evident the process I was going through was so natural, I knew I was finally home.

Of course it was approximately around that same time when the trans trolls came out of the closet to accuse me of being a trans pretender at the worst to another old guy on hormones (funny) to nothing more than a glorified cross dresser. Fortunately, all of that was my worst reaction. The overwhelming reaction of society was either who cares to wow.

What I don't completely understand is the push back "more mature" trans women receive. At our age, at the least, we face tougher uphill transition battles as far as passing privilege and we have tons more of life baggage. So once we get here, hell yes,it's easy to be impatient. Look at it this way trollers, it was us who were pretending all those years  but in guy drag.

As far as a cult goes, that's a bit dramatic I know, but being a baby boomer, anything can happen with our generation.  Worst case scenario? Waking up and finding out Zoey Tur is speaking for the transgender community.

Male Privilege and "Pretenders"

Helen Boyd clarified her post on Zoey Tur and late in life transitioners:

"To clarify: the term is used usually for trans women who live significant lives assigned male before transitioning to female. There are many trans men who transition later in life after significant lives assigned women.

They are not, by any means, the only kind of self appointed trans spokespeople who screw up. There are sometimes recently transitioned trans men who say sexist shit, or there are young, firebrand activists who don’t seem to know their history and think that anyone who transitioned over the age of 40 is a drag queen, or that trans women who came up through drag shouldn’t be considered women."

As she always does Helen does a great job and you can see the rest of the post here.  Obviously at 65, this topic is near and dear to me! Yes I have my "transness" questioned and yes I have been called a pretender.

Senior Citizen "Happy Hours?"

I shudder on occasion (even on warm days) when I just don't see much information on gender transitioning later in life. Today on Helen Boyd's EnGender blog, this post caught my eye first for "late transitioner" and then drinking!  It's called "Zoey Tur & The Late Transitioners Media Tour of Meaness Drinking Game." Then the post got even better when it featured Zoey Tur and in essence questioned what the hell rock she crawled out from under?  Read on:

"First, I want to remind everyone that this awesome trans community has survived the likes of Zoey Tur and it will, no doubt, do so again. But in the meantime, to keep the rest of us from going mad, we’ve got a new drinking game. (Non drinkers, feel free to substitute with chocolate.)

& Yes, there are rules:

Drink for:
“crossdresser”, “crossdressing”
incorrect pronouns when referring to other trans people
image of putting on make up

Double drink for:
“transvestite”
Thailand
being amazed that people interrupt her/other loss of privilege
satin

Chug for:
Rocky Horror allusion, even unintentional
insulting well-respected trans women of color
denying rights to younger trans people based on genital status

Suggestions are more than welcome to complete this one. Check out Monica Roberts’ take-down for ideas."

I SO AGREE with Helen, but poor Zoey, (left) she is still trying to make herself relevant in the world without being able to hang on the coat tails of Bruce Jenner!

What I want to know is-what exactly is in the cup???