Cyrsti's Condo "Gender Blender"

Androgynous male and female models together:  Kirill Sadovy (left) Alexandrina Til (female-right)

Turmoil!

If you would have told me a couple years ago I would go into panic mode if I lost my computer, I would have said several highly derogatory comments.  Now however I'm literally surrounded by electronic gadgets which hook me up to who knows where and panic me when they don't work.

Now that my "precious puter" seems to be well for awhile, I can catch up with all of you, work on the final stages of my book based on how it looks on my Kindle and continue to learn all the wonderful (and not so wonderful) features of my new Android phone.  To quote Star Trek, "Beam me up Scotty-there is no intelligent life down here!"

Sadly, I'm still catching up and even finding your great comments in the midst of my virtual office mess here in Cyrsti's Condo, like this one from Linda Marie Daniels-which goes back to last Sunday:

Regarding the 50 something women in the restaurant who were so rude: unfortunately, after a certain age, most people don't change their opinions about the world. Although there are older people who are willing to examine long held beliefs, most "dinosaurs" are going to keep their ideas about transgender people. The good news is that younger generations seem to be more able to look at people as people, regardless of whether they don't conform to strict definitions of gender identity. The bad news is, at least for "dinosaurs" like me, that change in attitude as the ideas of a new generation become the mainstream, will be a little late for me. Great post as always. Happy Sunday to you!

Thanks Linda Marie!  You all know I am one of the "dinosaurs" too. As a matter of fact I mentioned it this morning when I was working on a new article for Frock Magazine. I was on my soap box again ranting about how our generation (and me) was notoriously in the closet/ stealth as transgender women and cross dressers.  All of us know we can make a case why that was but the past is just the past and we have left ourselves with what we paid forward-nothing. Now, whatever we can put into the transgender piggy bank is better than nothing!

I do have a spousal checklist in one of my book chapters which may be of interest to this discussion too. It compresses three sample kinds of spouses from accepting to call the divorce lawyer I will have to remember to pass it along to all of you.  The key term is remember! Sorry kids, have to wrap this up now. The dinosaur needs a nap!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

For Friday we are going to run a dual feature cover from the past. Vintage female impersonators Kim Christy and Kim August.

Kim August

Kim Christy

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

We are back with our Condo feature covers. Today check out beautiful drag artist Jem Stone

Summer Fun!

Forget the inch of snow we had the other day and the frigid temps which sent me scrambling for my sweaters, I figured it was time to begin my maintenance on summer's number one fashion accessory- skin.

At this time in my life, I have certain "specialized" needs.  As far as fashions go, unfortunately, the flirty short summer skirts and sundresses are not age appropriate for me but the longer ones certainly are.  While I still have the remnants of my upper body biceps, my muscle definition has gone way down and my HRT induced skin tone has gone way up. So sleeveless tops this summer are back for a second season for me.

I do a pretty good job of taking care of my upper body skin and if I don't it tells me. As far as winter and my legs and feet go though, not so much.  I have work to do to shed dry skin, soften and moisturize.  Also, I don't think I have mentioned my dislike of wearing any sort of hot panty hose in the summer. I'm going bare legged under my long skirts and normally do a self summer pedi for sandals.

What I am looking forward to this summer though, is adding a long sun dress or two to my wardrobe for the first time.  I think with the right bra and panty set, I will be able to enjoy my new found femininity this summer to the max and stay cooler. (#1  goal!)

So, we will see what climate change does to us around here in Ohio and my plans. I am notoriously short term though so maybe I will have to come up with plans "B or C" too. First, I have to think about them and I actually have started.  I am subscribed to a local woman's Mary Kay site which recently promoted tons of summer cosmetics.  On the other hand, I also use "home made" products too.  My most recent example was when Liz directed me to her cooking Olive Oil to help my dry facial damaged winter skin. She read the hint from Glamour Magazine and it actually worked better than any of the big name expensive products I was using.  Just check around.

Another hint is my grocery store (Kroger's) has a ton of on line coupons. Several are for cosmetic products
and if you hit a day when they are already on sale, you can do well.

The MaryKay link is above and I'm sure there were and are other places you can go for fun!

Ketchup

Yes, I'm using a condiment name for a Cyrsti's Condo blog post and it actually serves a couple purposes!

On a lighter note, I'm "catching up" on a few of your comments from a post which indirectly involved food. Clever, right?

Thanks to all of you who commented on the Trans Girl Guide to Eating Out post.

The first came from Leann:

Crysti, I agree whole-heartedly with 1, 2 and 5. Of late, I have been trying to go to a local (Northeast local) chain called Legal Seafood about once a week. I have at least one waitress who sits down to chat with me. As far as 3 and 4 are concerned, I haven't run into these S&Sers so I haven't run into them in the restroom either. The only conversation I have ever had in a restroom is someone commenting me on my suit. :)

Thanks Leeann!  For those of you who don't know, #4 was my reference to using the women's room. Similar to you, I haven't had any problems for literally years but having the cops called on me twice, being called a perve and getting kicked out of a venue left their marks I'm afraid! Anymore, I don't let the past ruin the present!

The second came from Mandy Sherman:


On #3, Trouble in Paradise... It's not only the 50-somethings. While it's indeed precisely as you say with them, alas, teenagers haven't given up on S&S yet. Last fall during my final 2013 en-femme outing, I was having a solo dinner at an upscale steakhouse restaurant on the Maryland side of Washington, DC. The joint wasn't full by any means. A pair of 18-year-old-plus girls and their dates were seated across the room, with the girls having an unobstructed view of my table. (How do I know they were at least 18? The wine bottle and glasses...) The girls spotted me as I walked in, and as soon as I was seated they informed the boys of my existence. The boys seemed rather ho-hum about it, as a mere glance was all they sent my way. But every few minutes, one of the girls checked me out, whispered something to her friend, who then looked my way. They then giggled, and whispered things to each other, while the boys looked rather annoyed at their dates' actions. The special dinner date (for which they were paying a tidy sum) was being compromised by this "guy in a skirt." 

The foursome got their "special night" back when I left...with no wine, appetizer or dessert, I finished well before they did. But I could feel two pair of young female eyes following me all the way out, once they noticed I was leaving. And you can bet I remained a part of their conversation for the rest of the evening... Sorry, guys - your dates were paying attention to me, not you. Better luck next time... But this is a solemn testament to the fact that teenage female S&S is still very much alive and well in suburban Maryland. 

And with regard to #4 - Rest Room Pass: Since that night, I have used a few select women's rooms, while dressed androgynously. But that particular night, I was in a "holding pattern" - waiting to go back to my hotel room. No way would I have wanted to chance meeting those girls in a restroom situation. Cheers, Mandy

Hi Mandy and thanks!  Sounds as if the narrow minded young women just were looking for diversions to their boring dates and you were in the line of fire.  You bring up several really good points.  Ultimately, stupidity is not limited to one age group and the longer someone has to sit back and look you over, the more chance you become of someone making you their business.  Pretty much that is what happened to me the other night with one of the bitches who about broke her neck to stare and smirk.  (The other didn't give me a second look later.)

Once again ladies, thanks so much for your comments!

Back in The Saddle

This is sort of a test post. For what seemed like years, I was experiencing computer trouble at Liz's and my house too.

Happy to say, I'm back-I think and will be blasting away here in the Condo soon!

A Trans Girl's Guide to Eating Out

My qualifications to write this post go back many years to a 30+ year career in the commercial restaurant business. I have seen trans women in my venues as well (of course) dining in others.

Here you go:

1.- Be nice and talkl.  I'm sure many of you think, Cyrsti, this is common sense.  It is, until I expand on it.  Before I even began to journey out into the world as a woman frequently, the cross dressers/transgender girls who my staff's waited on, drew extra attention to themselves by being too quiet.  I was guilty of it too, during my early ventures.  What happens is, you may be quiet, scared to death and shy-which comes off to the world as you maybe doing something wrong.

2.- Tip well.- Especially, in the current ultra competitive climate, food employees would serve Martians if they minded their own business, were pleasant and tipped well.  As transgender women, we are in an ideal spot to make a great impression because so many people don't make them. An example was,  in the restaurants I ran, the "after church" crowd on Sunday was notoriously difficult to deal with.  Look at it this way, unless you are an extremely passable trans woman, you will be remembered.  Make your impressions good ones and you will be welcome.

3.- Trouble in Paradise.- Just when you are thinking all is well when you are heading out for a nice meal, beware of the predatory 50+ something genetic female.  It used to be we thought teen aged girls were the worst group of humans we could face.  This is the same group all grown up They are still in the same blissful state of transgender ignorance suffered from in their teens and are still our biggest problem. Young girls today either know "one of us", are informed about us, or just don't care.  My latest example of 50 something genetic bigotry was just last Friday night.  As Liz and I were blissfully enjoying our food and company, two women just had to S&S- Stare and Smirk.  Outside of aggravating me, I don't let ignorance ruin my evenings anymore but  women like this can throw more than stupidity at you. Such as:

4.-Rest Room Pass.- It is human nature.  When you eat and drink, you may have to potty and are easy prey for an S&S er out to save the world for morality.  Of course you have a couple alternatives.  Hold it and don't go, just throw your shoulders back and the girls out and head confidently to the restroom or watch where the bigots are heading.

5.- Go Back.- As I said, if you like a place, return and begin to establish yourself as a regular.  As you do, all kinds of good things can happen.  These days, a progressive business embraces diversity which includes the TGLBQ community.  I have never minded being the token transgender person.  If possible, find another person to go with you.  Nothing gives you more credibility.  An example is when Liz and I go out, she is totally oblivious to the possibility I may be facing negative feedback.  Which is fine, I fight my own battles.  Finally, especially with my restaurant background, at all costs I try to respect the owners or management of the venue and be welcomed back.

So there you go kids, I'm sure many of you have welcome hints of your own!  Be sure to pass them along.  Bon Appetite! 

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature Sunday cover here in "theCondo" today is transsexual pioneer Phoebe Smith