It's a Small World After All!

I was over at my ex wife's house (no misprint) with my daughter to lend what ever expertise I have to a couple of small house renovation projects.  To be clear, we all get along well and with or without my gender issues I was easier to live without.

I have mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo that I am totally out to my daughter and amazingly enough, my ex wife never told our daughter about me and my gender struggles. Now my question is, has my daughter updated her Mom?  Truthfully, I really haven't given it much thought. If I'm not directly affected, I don't bother with it.

What led me to believe my ex and her husband do know is the conversation which magically appeared over a cup of coffee.  It turns out her husband has a nephew who is a trans man and I was told, was going "all the way."  They went on to say how supportive his parents were of the process. (His Dad has since passed.)

Rarely, am I at a loss for words but I was then. I finally blurted out how special it was and is for parents to support totally a transgender child. As it is and the conversation moved back into other mundane areas. Obviously it would have been the ideal time to not so casually mention the obvious-I too am going through the gender transition process. After all these years, I find it frustrating as of yet, I have yet to come to terms with telling the truth about myself. But I didn't.

I'm also fascinated by the numbers of trans individuals who turned up in a very small sampling of people I knew "back in the day".  Way back before I went into the Army in 1972, a woman I was engaged to's sister was very butch. I remember once they managed to dress her up as a girl and I thought even I would have looked better in that dress. Years later, she was living her life as a man, but I never knew if she identified as a transgender man.  Now it turns up there was another trans person in the works.

Before I sound like Jerry Springer, no, these two families are not related and never interacted at all. They are only tied together with me because I knew both of them.  I only found it interesting there were so many of us "bunched" together in such a small sampling of people I know. Maybe there are many more transgender women and men in the world than anyone knows about?  That idea, led me  to be a believer in the latest Facebook attempt to open themselves to different gender options.  I (for one) was sick of the simple outmoded male and female binaries and hoped the Facebook move would be more of a "census."

Regardless of all of that, I think I'm moving into yet another level of coming out to others.  They knew but were waiting for me to tell them.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Today we feature female illusionist Allison St. John from the UK:

Behind Every Actor Playing a Trans Role...

Is an even better transgender woman training him. Or at least with Jared Leto, in the Dallas Buyer's Club.
From Fusion:


Oscars season is coming up, which means we’re about to shower actors with awards and praise for their work. But the people who help them portray such stirring roles are rarely recognized. Calpernia Addams (left) is one of those people. “I recorded all of his lines from the script and he listened to that audio for months during his preparation,” explained Addams. 

Actor Jared Leto used her audio to prepare for the role of Rayon, a transgender woman living with HIV in the 1980s in the film “Dallas Buyers Club.” Leto’s performance helped he and the film earn six Oscar nods. This isn’t the first time Addams has helped A-list actors portray transgender characters. After 4 years as a field medic in the Navy, Addams came out as a transgender woman. Since then, she’s been an activist for transgender rights and was even portrayed in the movie “Soldier’s Girl,” a film about her relationship with Navy Private First Class Barry Winchell and his brutal murder. 

Addams’ first Hollywood experience was training actor Lee Pace to play her in the film. She’s since consulted for Felicity Huffman and, most recently, Leto. Addams draws from her own experience as a transgender woman. Her coaching goes beyond portrayal: Addams wants her clients to have a deep emotional and psychological understanding of what it’s like to be a trans person in the U.S.

Read more here.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

First Arizona-Now Mississippi

We ran a post in Cyrsti's Condo yesterday about the Governor of Arizona vetoing a blatantly TGLB discrimination bill. Beware of one coming to your state too, as I of heard rumblings of here in Ohio.

This time though, it's the state of Mississippi attempting to take a giant step backwards and adopt a similar bill which was shot down in Arizona.

For more info, go here where you can go and add your two cents.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is Columbia's transgender model  Melania Armenta

What Part of Ignorance Will They Ever Understand?

A contradiction in terms to be sure. An ignorant person never understands because they are ignorant and to be clear here, I'm separating ignorance from a simple lack of knowledge or understanding.

This post is a celebratory one, plus one which comes with a warning.  Recently, two positives took place which will impact the TGLB community.  The first of which was when the repeal of the so called "Co-ed School Bathroom Bill" was thrown out due to lack of signatures. The bill guarantee's equal restroom rights for transgender California students.

The second of which was the veto in Arizona of a bill which had the potential to send the state back to the old "Jim Crow" discrimination laws in the deep south.  Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer vetoed the controversial anti-gay SB 1062 on Wednesday, saying it would "create more problems than it purports to solve." "Religious liberty is a core American and Arizona value, so is non-discrimination," she said. Ironically, the rumor is the NFL and a threat to pull the Super Bowl out of the state, had more than a slight impact.

Unfortunately, the more victories we have, the more we need.  The right wing hate mongers are more than ready, willing and able to toss more road blocks in our paths as TGLB citizens. Some even try to erode the rights of genetic women too. I can carry it a step farther to you cross dressers who maybe considering a step or two out of the closet.  When I first came out, the mere fact an owner could boot me out of his store for dressing like a women, may have made the process almost impossible for me.  My point is (again) even if you are a heavily closeted CD or trans person, you need to discretely vote against these people!

Today though, we do have hard fought victories and we do have a vocal and an economic impact in our communities. Smart towns know a positive TGLB rights stand attracts commerce and I do my small part by driving by Chik-Fil-A and not buying Barilla Pasta in the store.  I respect the rights of the homo-phobic owners of those companies to their ideas and I have my right NOT to give them my money. Not unlike the NFL and Arizona on a tiny scale, I will do my part to help them not prosper. Just because they happened to be good business people does not make them good human beings!

The bottom line is, as with any other rights we have earned, no matter how small, we have to be increasingly diligent to keep them.

It's In Here Somewhere

Pat had a great comment for me not long ago, which for the life of me, I can't find. (No real surprise!)

In a post, I was mentioning my need to carry a "feminine hygiene product" in my purse in case I was asked by another woman for one in the restroom. She said something to the point of who would even ask me at my age?  Of coursed I loved it! 

Her age comment does bring me to another point though- age appropriate dressing. It's a huge deal for many genetic women as they have the need to cut their hair shorter every year and seemingly go out of their way to ignore every younger fashion trend.

The length of my hair alone takes me out of the 60+ female age category I'm in.  In other words, I don't blend.  By the time a genetic woman gets to my age (or vice versa) she has beaten her hair into submission over the years and her hormone levels are decreasing. Plus of course, hair is only a small part of the problem. To help me,   I am a follower of the Fabulous after 40  fashion site and on a recent update, here was the question:

Of all the questions my readers send me, the one I seem to get the most is a variation on the theme of age-appropriate dressing: “Can I wear short skirts/low-cut tops/bikinis/etc. at my age?”;“Does this make me look like I’m trying hard to be young?”; “Does this make me look old?”

If you follow the link above, you can find many pictures plus possible answers to the question.  As a transgender woman who didn't get a chance to transition until later in life, I'm seeking some sort of a middle ground.  I don't want to regress to my days of being the cross dresser in the mall squeezed into a mini and heels but I do want to squeeze enough style and fashion into what's left of my active life.

I'm lucky. Over the years, I did take the time as a guy to give a little extra love to my skin.  Between genetics, HRT, make up and smoke and mirrors, I can take a few visual years off my life.  In fact in some situations I threaten people with my ID to show them how old I really am.

Finally, the problem I know I have (along with so many other cross dressers or transgender women) is looking like I'm trying too hard. The only difference is I have two hurdles - age and gender.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Our feature Cover Girl today is transgender woman Dorian Garcia