What's in a Name?

You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, just don't call me he, sir or buddy and by the way my male name was not Chris!

Over the past couple of years the name game became "uber" important to me as I reworked my life and gender. Following a couple false starts with Cyrsti's Condo (Transnation), I finally said to hell with it and called this production a condo.  If you must know, the condo is actually a big 1860's vintage brick ex commercial building which has housed saloons, general stores and boarding houses over the years. Somehow I didn't think all of that would make for a catchy name!

I also faced the bigger decision on renaming myself to reflect my transitioning status from cross dresser to transgender woman. I was positive my long blond wigs and the name Roxie had to go.   Looking back on my decision, the only mistake I made was I really didn't give Cyrsti enough thought. Essentially,  I was looking for a middle of the road feminine name so I adopted Kristy and changed the spelling but "Jessie" would have been a better personal choice because it was a family name and I loved the sound of it.

The whole name game is one of the most interesting and important facets of our transitions.  In reality it matters not if you feminize your male name, borrow an old girlfriends, or adopt a family name. My only warning is to be careful, you may be surprised how quickly your new name can become entrenched in the world! There is no way possible now I could ever switch to Jessie!

Never say never, because I did!

So Many Answers - So Little Time

Three transgender women from Thailand have recently been seen performing at tourist spots throughout the south Chinese city of Guangzhou, according to a website run by the Guangming Daily. The three Thais have received a lot of public attention with their street performance, in which they show onlookers how to tell the difference between a real woman and a "lady boy."

My "X" rated mind went quickly into over drive with this question. It locked up and had to be re rebooted.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Halloween is the time of year you can pass off those cob webs in your house as seasonal decorations!"

Cyrsti Hart

Transgender Man a Candidate For UNI Homecoming Queen

Transgender Man a Candidate For UNI Homecoming Queen

After watching this, I'm not sure the transgender word should be applied at all, even it is was applied wrong. Wouldn't Steve be a transgender woman?

Beyond Transition?

As usually the rule, the Huffington Post "Gay Voices" recently published an outstanding post called "Beyond Transition" Documentaries.

Transgender writer Mitch Kellaway did a wonderful job of featuring more than a couple "mainstream" transgender women and men as well as a number of individuals not quite so well known:

To give you an idea of Mitch's work, here is an opening excerpt:

"Mass media have a history of erasing transgender people's complexities and lived experiences. It happens whenever there's an act of misgendering or misnaming or a reliance on social assumptions that trans existence is essentially tragic or reducible to medical procedures. Thankfully, this year has seen a steady stream of trans-focused independent documentaries to offer a counterpoint, illuminating how nuanced, flawed, individualistic, and human trans lives are.

 I spoke via email with several filmmakers to learn how they worked toward capturing rich portraits of trans folks that evoke resilience, humor, history, and joy. A common theme emerged from our conversations: Gender transition, while a significant milestone, is not the only, or even necessarily the defining, part of every trans person's life. It's an ongoing process that informs and interacts with other roles and identities, albeit one that is too often rendered tragic by medical and legal stumbling blocks and social stigma. And, like any major change, it's worth celebrating -- even as life goes on despite and because of it."

As I followed down the list of documentaries, of course I knew of Kate Bornstein's (left) story and now there is actually a film being produced called "Kate Bornstein is a Queer and Present Danger" about her.

On the other hand there were many others in the post I had never of such as Bambi Lake (below) who is featured in Sticks and Stones and The Golden Age of Hustlers. I had no idea Bambi Lake was a "notorious" San Francisco performer who wrote the song, "The Golden Age of Hustlers," which is now being performed by trans artist Justin Vivian Bond in New York.

Bambi Lake

As I said there is a ton of information in Mitch Kellaway's post and you can follow the link above to read it!

As I did, I began to think what "beyond transition" would mean to me and will mull it over it a future Cyrsti's Condo post.

Wishin' and a Hopeing!

One of our readers here in Crysti's Condo passed this video along - with the comment "Why couldn't have he ever looked like this?"
I sent the comment back, "Hell, there are a slew of genetic women who would want to look like that!"

Seriously, as cross dressers or transgender women we need to take a page or two out of the genetic woman handbook: you take what you have and make the best of it. Unlike the Flickr pix he also sent me of an obviously huge guy with a beer belly trying to pass himself off as looking pregnant in a mini dress of some sort. For a second I thought my computer was under a terrorist attack...  Look, I'm not saying (or ever have) myself,  all or many of us can present as an attractive woman at all,  but at the least, try to have some respect!

This video is NOT him cause I love you guys!

Cyrsti's Condo "Horror Scope"

In some ways I'm trying to tie my latest "scope" in with my last post on "Aura".  Hey, it works if you consider being a flirt part of your "aura"?

Libra (September 23-October 22): Flirting isn’t always cheating. There are times when using it as a weapon to save time or money is necessary — like this week. However, use your charm sparingly, because blurring the boundaries of innocent flirtation will come, as this week someone will surprise you with an unexpected response, making you want to sit up and take note.

Every week I expect a totally boring scope but this week's certainly isn't it! I can say when I sat on the other side of the transgender fence, I considered flirting an art form, even if my significant other didn't. Now, from this side, I'm not so sure how "safe" flirting would even be. (Right Liz?)

At the least, I love the "scope" and you can get yours too from theFrisky. 

You Are Glowing!

Haven't written about one of my pet gender "theories" for a while here in Cyrsti's Condo.

For decades I have felt "appearance" wasn't the only defining prerequisite in presenting yourself as a woman in public. Of equal importance to presenting was simply being yourself.  If indeed you have an inner girl and you let her out of your physical closet amazing things can happen.

I say "if" because I feel having or not having an inner girl is the dividing line between being a cross dresser or a transgender or transsexual person. My strict easy definition says a cross dresser wants to look like a woman, the trans girls want to be one. Before you take me to task though, I know there are shades of gray (which hopefully is not one of my colors.)

Years ago I also started to feel my inner transgender self went very deep and I was subconsciously presenting a feminine aura other people were sensing.  I was completely in shock at the number of times I was presenting at work as a macho male and someone would unknowingly called me mam.

As I began to "sync up" my interior and exterior selves over the years, it's been easy to understand why women again have a huge lead over men in this social skill. As I navigate the world as a trans woman, I have had to become more adept at judging other people's aura- for personal security and any number of other reasons. I don't attach a color to people but I do believe my experiences as a transgender woman gives me a real potential to be more adept than either of the binary genders in understanding aura.

Early example of aura.

As it goes now, more than a few folks believe they are extra sensitive to auras and can read them and I'm not referring to psychics. One of my interactions not so long ago reinforced my ideas.

I was at one of my favorite places (of course I was) and one of the other patrons came in off the patio with her boyfriend for a refill and began to read the "aura's" around the bar.  I don't know what significance are attached to colors but she immediately said there were tons of "browns and greens" around the bar-until she got to me and stopped.

She really stopped and said my colors were quite different and she was having a difficult time sorting them out and we had to really talk sometime.  I just laughed and said she wasn't the first who had said something similar like that to me but I never gave her any further information about me.  It all happened so quick and she never mis gendered me, so I just stored the experience away in my "this gender thing is more than skin deep department".

I have not seen her since and who knows what colors she was reading but the experience was definitely something else to think about from my view on the "gender fence". Maybe someday, I will get my "colors done" and not at a cosmetics counter!

Trans "Bridezilla?"

Can't say I have ever seen a transgender or cross dressed "Bridezilla". There is a reality show which showcases the most hysterical bitchy, control freak brides they can find. The only interesting show to me that I missed was when one of the brides ran off one of her bridesmaids and "made" her brother "step" into the position.

Personally, I have met only one transsexual that I know of who went on to be married to a man or anyone who has been in a bridal party as a woman.

I do know though, many transgender women and cross dressers have a true fascination of being a bride. Some consider the process (along with pregnancy) as the pinnacles of the feminine experience. For all of you who do, I am passing along this video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen: