The Not So Sweet

Many times the hardest part of this transgender path I'm traveling is taking too much for granted.
I'm thinking the whole world accepts my girl world and life is good. Then of course, here comes reality.
The first dose came at a buffet in **Birmingham, Alabama. The trip down from Cincinnati had been very effortless. Of course I got the usual curious looks from my fellow passengers but nary a side look at a restaurant near Bowling Green, Kentucky.
In Birmingham however I came really close to a total laugh and smirk from an employee at the place we stopped. After a brief moment of hurt, I moved on knowing my chances were good I would never be back. So to hell with him.

I'm not necessarily picking on Alabama here but one of the other ugly moments I think almost occurred when we stopped at the so-called welcome center when we got into the state.  The women's rest room was dark, crowded and smelly to start with. In addition there were two other women not on our tour I'm fairly certain didn't approve of me being there. Fortunately, the bus was close by and we left one of my fans still glaring in the distance. She reinforced my theory that the most active transphobic peeps are women.

For some reason that experience really bothered me for awhile which didn't make any sense because this wasn't my first rodeo. The good part was I didn't have long to dwell on it!
The only other instance was predictable and not negative when you consider the source. Our first dinner as we arrived in New Orleans was a group affair at an upscale venue. This was actually the first and last we had as a group.  Girlfriend and I were sitting towards the end of the long table with four other women easily over the age of 70 and our tour guide. One started asking me how the two of us got together.  I'm still not good at  projecting female in every one on one conversation which at the least gives me a chance to win the other person over no matter how I look to her. I simply failed miserably with this woman who started to slide the "he" word into the conversation about me to others. Plus as luck would have it we encountered each other in the restroom where she softly said "Oh you use the women's room". Overall though, she was a delightful person and I'm fairly sure she had never encountered a transgender person before. She was simply in uncharted territory.

I guess looking back at the seven days, all of this was fairly minor. I do have to make the excuse that most of the time I was utterly denied mirror access. Believe me, during 12 days I need all the help I can get. Finally, I know as time goes by and HRT works it's magic my public presentation will improve but bottom line is I will always have certain male facial angles and body structures which will be challenges. What disappoints me is when I don't take advantage of what I do have which happened several times during the trip.

Enough of these negatives! The next couple posts will cover more of the fun I had including one of the Q&A sessions I had with girl friend about a boob job.











**Please note my experiences in any of the places I mention are isolated and do not reflect an overall opinion of places I know nothing about.

The Blood, the Mud and the Beads!

We arrived in time to check in and walk the 4 blocks or so to Bourbon Street and the Lundi Gras party.
The night turned out to be a combination of a "bucket list"/learning experience.  We started down Bourbon Street fairly comfortably and fairly early with street side drinks in hand. Certainly the crowds were large but nothing unmanageable. We paused several places to lean on a wall and people watch. Here I was as my real self partying in New Orleans! Life was good then BOOM! We moved another 4 blocks or so up the street and then I found out what life in a "mosh pit" must be like. No one moved, beads were flying from as high as two stories up and of course were under your feet. I found out quickly this part of Mardi Gras was ideal for a 20 something person but girlfriend and I went, experienced and bailed! Remember too that the actual "Fat Tuesday" celebration was the next night.

I'm sure that those of you who visit Cyrsti's Condo and have been to New Orleans will vouch for the fact you need to wear comfortable shoes and clothes be ready for a lot of physical contact and be ever alert for flying beads!
The main lesson though was you can party and enjoy the whole experience more if you chose your battles on the fringes of Bourbon Street. Which we did on Tuesday night which is the actual Mardi Gras.

My girlfriend is a Wicca so she had an active interest in some of the shops in the area one of which was down near the cluster of gay venues and a block or so off the main street. Also, we had a chance to find a place where we could sit in an outdoor back patio area. Order drinks and food, enjoy each other's company and have restroom access. At my age taking the meds I am and drinking Louisiana's own Abita Beer I need to plan for potty breaks. As we all know, not the easiest deal for a transgender person. Where we were sitting though, I could watch the traffic to the women's room and make my break while the going was good (no pun intended). As it turned out, that particular restroom  was a story unto itself. It was small and I have no idea of what the woman ahead of me had to eat before she used that restroom...but the place was positively radioactive. Other amenities included the wooden board over the back of the toilet tank and the obligatory water and TP on the floor. Outside of the smell, I found the overall condition of the restroom was about normal for the ones I visited in the Bourbon Street war zone. My biggest problem was not coming out of the room and facing the women waiting to get in (to see if they were going to make a stink about me using the restroom) it was the embarrassment of them thinking I made that stink to start with!

The key to the evening was the weather. The intermittent rain stayed away for the most part and the weather stayed around 70 degrees so I could wear my off the shoulder top and feel a little exotic. But the evening was far from over and I will tell you more in an upcoming post!

My disclaimer here is that New Orleans is a positively wonderful and fascinating place and Mardi Gras is just a part of it!

It's Magic Fay!

From The Guardian archives in the UK:


"It's a man's world in the Magic Circle. Let any spellbinding magicienne, as the female exponents of the art call themselves, try for admission and they'll be quickly asked to disappear. For the Circle, founded in 1905, now numbering more than a thousand members and with a rule discouraging the 'disclosure of magical secrets to the public' is a Men Only organisation. This is causing some annoyance to Oliver Winter, who three years ago was just an ordinary chap, an associate member of the Circle, with an amateur interest in slicing girls in half and doing the usual with rabbits. Today, things are very different, having been involved in a bit of medical magic himself - he changed his sex to female and his name to Fay Presto - he has become Britain's first professional transsexual magician. She finds herself outside the Magic Circle and it will take more than a wave of the wand to get her back in again. 'If they just want to be a gentleman's club they must be allowed to do so.' says Miss Presto, a tall handsome blonde with long painted finger nails. 'But they also set themselves up as the arbiters of all that is right and proper in magic.'

Indeed, it's the magic of the best kind for most transgender men and women!

Road Princess

The reality of the last seven days was overshadowed by the place I was headed. I had no idea of what was to occur.
Let me lay out some details.

Photo by Liz T

First of all we were going down to New Orleans on a tour bus which is an approximate 12 hour trip on the road with nearly 20 other peeps older than even I. The good part of the experience is we were on a bus and the bad part was we were on a bus. I was able to spend mega time with my girl friend and see parts of the country I wasn't familiar with. Some of the country I want to see again. Some I don't. I had the feeling that parts of Alabama and Mississippi haven't seen many transgender folk. A bus rolling down the road doesn't present a problem but rest room stops obviously do. Also it's tough to blend with a group of 70 something women headed into a rest stop. Plus the first task was to win them over. I don't labor under any impression they viewed me as a card carrying genetic woman but I'm fairly sure the discussion over what I really was and my relationship with my girlfriend was. That of course didn't bother me and by the time the trip was over I was accepted by most as a de facto woman. Oddly, the acceptance showed me how far I have come down my transgender path and how far I have to go. I learned why reputable therapists and SRS centers want you to live as a woman or man before you go down a surgical path of no return.

On later posts (for all you statisticians) I will break down my perceptions of the public perception of me and no I didn't forget the basis of this all: Mardi Gras itself. I can only say the event is everything I thought it would me and more and so is the city of New Orleans itself. They do a fabulous job. Returning to the city itself reinforced how much I love the food, music and architecture. On the dark side, examples of the terrible devastation of hurricane Katrina are still evident. I can't vouch for other huge parties but I believe Mardi Gras lives up to it's reputation as one of the best. I'm far from a tour guide but I do have more than a couple ideas of how to navigate the area now and can't wait to go back.

I will use this quote often: "The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat" because it describes my trip. My girlfriend gave me a journal to jot down ideas and I have plenty to cover and they are coming up here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Home Again!

Just rolled back in from Mardi Gras.
I'm fairly sure I can write tons of words about the experience...and will.
Right now I can say the week was simply amazing from all different angles.
I am going to try to break everything out to attempt to make some sort of sense.
Basically the trip was a blur of switching genders in the deep south of the US...not just New Orleans.
Name it and it happened. Acceptance, non acceptance- stares and stealth all combined to make this a fun and sometimes scary trip. I would say once in a lifetime but starting a new lifetime would be more accurate!
Stay tuned!!!

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Lou and Rachel

Remember Lou Reed and his classic song "Take a Walk on the Wild Side?
Here's a line from the song:

"Holly came from Miami, F.L.A. Hitch-hiked her way across the U.S.A. Plucked her eyebrows on the way Shaved her legs and then he was a she"

Which supposedly was about "Holly Woodlawn"

It turns out Lou's source of inspiration for most of the songs on "Coney Island Baby" was his trans lover and muse Rachel," who has has always been "somewhat of a mystery figure."
And I guess she still is!

Packing for the "Big Easy"

Well boys and girls, packing for "The Big Easy" (New Orleans) hasn't been that easy!
Of course this one week adventure will be the longest time in my life living as a woman. On the road that is!

I have never been good at organization and who needed it as a guy on vacation anyway? Maybe it's the effect of the HRT or just the benefit of how I'm living now but I think I have a fairly decent grasp on this.
Here's how I'm approaching this trip:

First of all, the overall style of the trip is casual which is right up my alley. For most of my girl life I've always been a fan of separates. Jeans or slacks with blouses, T-shirts or sweaters are my wardrobe. I have been able to come up a good four to five days of basics which I can mix and match. Most importantly, all are very packable. 

At this point though I began to think of the other feminine items I would need. In a rare moment of clarity, I thought I would start at the top and move down. My shampoo, hair dryer and flat iron hair straightener are ready to go. All shaving equipment is lined up for tomorrow. I have a separate makeup bag which I'm trying to keep all my goodies organized into now then put into my suitcase just before I leave.

Moving down my body, barring any big accidents I have plenty of clean undies packed. I'm planning on an extensive hair removal session in the shower which should easily take me through the trip. (Thank goodness for estrogen)!

Finally, foot ware by essence needs to be comfortable so a couple pair of flats should do the job.

So, I know all of this sounds very complete and certainly will be great until (of course) I find out what I forgot halfway through the trip.

At any rate, I'm so excited to be going that I'm sure I can be creative enough to find a nearby store on the trip to help with any fashion emergencies!

Making A difference in the Transgender World

Ecuador could receive its first transgender lawmaker this month. Diane Rodriguez, a psychology student and trans rights activist in her home town of Guayaquil, is vying for a Congressional seat in the leftist Ruptura 25 party during the presidential and parliamentary elections held on 17 February. For more go here  from The Gay Star News.

And from North Dakota, Riah Roe testified for a bill to eliminate sexual discrimination in that state:
"Roe told the committee of her experience as a debate coach at Fargo North High School during the 2010-11 school year. During that school year, she taught as a man and testified that she received strong reviews at that time. Over the summer, while beginning the process of transitioning from male to female, Roe informed her employer of the transition process. Eight days later, she was let go. “I went from being a well-traveled individual ... to being a disgusting ‘tranny’ that was unfit to teach children,” Roe said."

The story is from the Bismark Tribune. Riah is shown at the left.

Can't say enough positive about these two women!

Early Morning Thoughts

It's 3 am Eastern Standard Time in the United States of America on the bit of dust we call Earth.
The good thing about being retired is I'm essentially on a 24/7 schedule. The bad thing about being retired is I'm essentially on a 24/7 schedule. Everyone except me is fairly certain I have all the time in the world.
Sometimes I do.
Yesterday I had time to get my hair done, go on a short makeup exploration trip and notice I was well on the way to filling out a nice A cup in the bra I was wearing. And before I forget, fix the damn plumbing in my house which thawed and of course broke. That's feminine, right?

At 3 in the morning, I'm still just me. Sometimes I wonder if that makes me less of a transgender woman? No it doesn't. It only means whom ever strung the wires in my head plugged them in like this.

Curiously I wonder if all of this means I have already gone stealth in my mind. Essentially going stealth in the outside world will happen when get out of my house of 30 some years.  Very simply what it means to my gender status is a total and clean break with the material positions of my past. I have come to the conclusion certain members of the human race will always sniff out my male past. I have also concluded in no way will that matter when I attend my next "Jimmy Buffet" concert next summer.

I tell anyone who cares gender is just a small part of me. Certainly there is so much more my overactive mind than meets the eye. I recently watched a television special on older human beings (older than me even) stagnating mentally. I wonder if I will ever get to a point to when I start to slow down?

All right, I know we are here to discuss transgender "stuff". It's 3 am and I just saw a belly dancer on a crazy late night movie I'm watching and remembered a certain friend of mine's offer to go to dance classes with me. I used to think a move (or moves) like belly dancing would be an impossible idea. From where I'm sitting now the whole idea seems wonderful. I love 3 am!