Thai & Russian Trans Beauties

The Thai transgender contestant above's picture presents a striking contrast of innocence, beauty, youth and resolve.

To the left is a Russian - Stas Fedyanin - from the EnglishRussian web site:  "Yes, this is not a girl. He is 180 cm (5,9 ft) tall, his weight – 45 kg (99 pounds). Believe it or not, but he is straight, even has a girlfriend and doesn’t plan to change his sex. He is an androgyne (a transgender individual who does not cleanly fit into binary male or female)."

99 pounds? Really?
So much for the cold war!

Horror Scope

I just have to say I conjure up great fun for myself when I read my "Horror-Scopes"  here in Cyrsti's Condo. But when I look at the stars and see a word such as psycho- I really get excited!

Libra Peeps here you go:
September 23-October 22): Potential energy transforms to kinetic energy, so if this means going a little psycho, well, you’re human. The point is, win under any circumstances! Play for keeps and know your next moves well in advance, because to deserve this victory, you’ll need to know how to rule with consistency and be prepared for anything.

For the the rest of you boring critters, get yours here at theFrisky.  "Horror-Scope" is my term-not theirs!

Amanda Lepore

Amanda reads at "Sex & Macaroni", the Verbal Abuse Magazine launch at Sally's II, 1994. She was the issue's covergirl. Photo by Johnny Dynell

Trans Update from the UK.

In the past I had ran a post about a young transsexual woman in the UK who had reversed her professed desire for SRS. Her name is Ria and the story is one of the more revealing stories I have seen for awhile.  Many specials I feel are just a little too biased at showing how easy the transgender journey could be-not how it is for many.
None of the  heart wrenching torment many of us feel or have felt at the hands of a very non understanding public is shown. Here's a very different and realistic look:

 :

Only Two Things are Certain Part Two

As we left this post we already had determined birth and death were absolutes in life. Anything else can supposedly be changed or at least altered.  Which brings us back to the holiday season.
It's the easiest time of the year to feel alienated from former family, friends and the world as a whole. I'm the first to admit I am so fortunate to have found a whole new group of cherished friends to enjoy and usher in a new year.

More than a couple of people have asked my "secret". The only secret is that I don't have one. My keys were honesty, networking and persistence. None of this happened quickly for me. On a time scale I went  four years or so going to gay venues as a "basic training" of sort- before I knew my transition had to begin  in earnest. At that point I started to explore my femininity in straight venues. Sure it was hard but then again the stakes were high. But we all know none of this transgender journey was going to be easy. It wasn't.

As I branched out, obviously some places were more receptive to me than others. Naturally I began to frequent the ones who were nicer to me. It turns out a potential negative wasn't. I was hard to miss and I was remembered. Sure I was a trans woman but I was honest about it and it was up to me to make my experience a positive one with others.  So within a couple of visits  I went from "hey isn't that a?" to hello Cyrsti (a real person). 
What happened next was a direct result of all this effort and a lot of good beer.
One of the bartenders introduced me to her Mom (we have been friends now for nearly four years) and one night a woman down the bar slipped a note down to me saying Hi and we have been friends for three years.(both lesbians I met in a straight sports bar.) Now keep in mind this was over a period of three years or so. You can not approach any of this process just a few times and run and hide in your closet which leads me to a controversial approach to networking yourself- the Internet.

At one point in time I went nuts on quite few dating sites. No transgender rip off ones but all kinds of others. All of them were consistent in only having two profile categories Male & Female. I was very experimental and spent a little money to subscribe to a couple sites.  On some I said I was a female then was quick to point out in my profile I was a transgender woman.  Others vice versa. I even switched which gender I was looking for. The whole effort turned out to be a total learning experience with a huge pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Of course I've heard the success stories of Internet dating these days and I know the percentages of people who have successful pairings on the web is on the rise. But then again there are bunches and bunches of worthless crazies out there. I encountered quite a few! However I met a person who is a dear friend and a couple others that I'm in contact with on a fairly regular basis I care about. The bottom line is that if you aren't really ready to sort through a lot of people and you fold your tent and run after a couple failures then the net search is not for you.

So that's my secret. None of it is quite difficult to understand but is very difficult to put in motion and of course it is my path. Who knows,  if you are facing a dark holiday period this post may help in some small way.

I'm living proof the unthinkable can happen and believe me I'm not that special. I hope it happens for you!

Only Two Things are Certain

In life there are only two certainties, you are born and you die.
A couple weeks ago, just after Thanksgiving I silently and inwardly noted the date of my wife's passing.
A week ago was her birthday.
I write this not out of sorrow or self pity but in the spirit of who she was and what she would want me to do. I have always felt she would have backed my transition completely but we couldn't have stayed married. She knew I was miserable. More importantly, I know somewhere she is behind my effort to help anyone with my story. Up front I'm going to tell you this will be a two part post.

For those of you who have stopped by Cyrsti's Condo for sometime,  perhaps you remember any number of posts I have written about my wife's influence on me-including "You make a Terrible Woman". or "Be a Man enough to Be a Woman". Essentially the first was beating me up for only thinking appearance was important to being the girl I wanted to be. The second was from a rough period we were going through due to my transgender confusion. She made me a better woman from the inside out.

Five years later my grieving is done and of course 25 years of memories will always remain.

The main reason for me bringing all of this up however is some of you will- or already are becoming depressed about the upcoming holiday season. Loneliness certainly does not look good in a red suit and beard or butching it up for your family Christmas parties makes you feel like a liar.
Just remember that life just evolves and what the heck- the Mayans could be right and we all get wiped out on December 21st.  I know it's bleak. Been there friends and have done it.

About now bunches of you are thinking blah, blah blah! Sure you are born and you die and I'm miserable! Got any ideas genius girl?
Well, I do and none of them are miracles and most are achievable.
But not until my next post-you know how I so hate 2 million word epics. Hell, I know I get lost in them, I can only imagine how you feel.

Before we move on, I just want to say please toss out the bravery word with me. I'm just living the life I had to live. Don't need no stinkin awards. Don't deserve them, but:
In order to arrive where I am now,  certain circumstances had to happen in my life. Looking back,  I have been dazzled by destiny and how the most important facets of my life have been set in motion by decisions I made years ago.
However I really don't believe so much in luck and I will tell you why in the next post and why I feel so fortunate going into this holiday season.

The Common Trans Folk

I'm as guilty as the next person of getting caught up in the glamour and glitz of all the knock down gorgeous transgender and transsexual women.

"Picture from a meeting in East Aurora, Ill concerning establishing new  gender standards"

On occasion I do look past all the bright lights and beauty to the trans folks in the trenches-women and men. The ones that say "hey! to hell with it I'm going to live life as I see fit." I lump myself largely into that category because most of the time I marginally present totally as a woman.  On the other hand, I present totally well as a person...
As do just two of the many trans women I have chosen pictures of to emphasize my point. To the left is "Dessert Storm Vet" Gabrielle Ludwig who is now playing college basketball at the age of 50. Certainly their stories are viewed with some sensationalism by some of the public but more importantly all of those we encounter as transgender humans make the effort worth while!

What is a Drag Queen?

Ironically, the more I'm able to make my way in the world as a transgender woman the more I become re interested in how closely related drag queens are to us.
Of course they aren't and drag peeps such as Rude Paul make me sick but every once in a while I run into an interesting video which gives extra insight into the world of drag queens.
Be patient with this one. The first part of it provides an interesting look at a few classic female impersonators and then settles into the present:

A Night in the "Nati"

Saturday night a wonderful friend of mine and I had a night out in the "Nati". The "Nati" is a slang term for Cincinnati.

Like so many evenings, this one started out innocently enough, we were simply going to downtown Cinci to enjoy the Christmas lights and sounds.  Oh, by the way my friend is a "GG" which shouldn't figure into this post but in spirit of understanding and disclosure-there you are.

Little did I know the real meaning of the evening would begin when I washed and dried my hair earlier in the afternoon.  The hair experience is still a mystery to me. Today however, I decided to step outside the box and let my "freak flags fly"...so to speak. I always admired the girls with the wild hair so I spritzed my hair with some sort of curling conditioner recommended by my friend. I let it dry, teased my hair a little and off I went.

Cincinnati is actually and hour and half or so from where I live but for any number of reasons I have always been drawn to it. Seemingly the place has been the spot where many fun and special things have happened to me.

I made the trip, picked her up at her house and we headed downtown- parked and headed to all the Christmas activities. Fairly shortly we got our fill of the festive spirit and went in search of other spirits.
We didn't have to go far as  Cincy has finally started to develop the area between the two pro stadiums into an entertainment district of bars and restaurants. One of which in particular I have wanted to visit since it opened earlier this year. Among other things it brews and serves a few beers I call my "ancestral beers" or the beers I drank when I first "popped the top" on a cold brew.  This was back in the day before all the now foreign giant brewers started to brain wash the beer drinking public with essentially tasteless "near beer"-but I digress. Fortunately "the Nati" is starting to return to some of it's brewing roots. (It's was a hugely German influenced city) So the night became mystical when I actually ordered a beer I hadn't seen since the early 70's and was sitting there enjoying it with my friend with all my potentially wild hair as a woman in this huge place.

Truthfully, I know my hair is far from being the "wild thing" I imagined it to be tonight-but you know it didn't matter. I finally had connected the dots to a time when I couldn't even imagine doing what I did tonight. Plus just for a second I was the girl with just a touch of bad I always admired. I'm selfish though, and I'll take that second I never really had.

Yes, it was an amazing "night in the Nati" and I give my friend and my ancestral beer all the credit.