This is Too Damn Simple?

"There's no difference Honey (Cyrsti) between cross dresser, transgender, or transsexual for that matter. They are just the same people on different planes of development. Just like not everybody graduates from first grade, not everybody graduates into accepting themselves fully as what they are. The fetish thing isn't a fetish, at all. It's just the first step for most of us - the first thing we accept about ourselves. With time many move past that as they start accepting the other things. And some don't. It's really that simple. Only the people that don't want to admit that we're all apples from the same try try to make it more complicated."
A comment by Jamiegottagun on When is There a "T" in Crossdresser?

Come on Jamie, lets be real careful about making all this simple!!!!  Nice Job.

Trans Discovery

During my endless surfing in the transgender galaxy I come across people and places which stand out.
I compare the feeling with having access to the "Hubble" Telescope and discovering a new planet or star.
For every transsexual, transgender or crossdressing story I discover there are probably hundreds of others still waiting to be discovered.
Here is my latest which is actually a rediscovery of Annika.

Before and After!

From what she wrote, she doesn't update the blog much but it's a site with really nice videos and pix of her life.
Check it out here.

A Long Trans Woman's Shopping List

This post is from a couple of known resources, "Autumn Sandeen" and "Pam's House Blend".
 It's a very long list called a "A Shopping List of Trans Woman's Shame"
As I read it I saw one, then two then many items I wanted to pass along.
I soon realized I shouldn't highlight my own agenda's (again) and let you decide.
Read it here.

Are We There Yet?

I have never had the luxury of feeling comfortable in either gender.
Can't totally claim womanhood anatomically but feel comfortable in all the female community. Communication, friendship and all.
Never could claim manhood. Existed in it, was sometimes successful with it but never felt secure in it.
Never did I wake up thinking I was only a boy but never thinking I was only a girl...never.
As with many of my posts here, I'm only writing this from an informational view point. Maybe you have been or are in the same place. Ironically, a place that leads to scorn from within our own community.
What began my introspection into who I am and where I am going as a transgender human came from a thesis project I am contributing to.
Here are a couple excerpts from my response to a gender stereotype question:

"I believe humans are desperate for something basic to cling to and gender is the most basic one. That's all good when there are only two recognized genders. What about a third? I have no recollection of having the luxury of thinking I was one gender.

Many of the ancient Native American tribes believed in dual gender spirits in humans and somewhere along the line (major religions) many of the beliefs were lost.

I don't really identify with the gay community (not a drag queen) or either primary gender.  I do my absolute best to use my look to shout female but know that until I can birth a child (never) or have monthly periods but I can only really say I am a feminized male who (I think) feels female. Who really knows? If you were born either gender and never questioned it-you know. The rest of us? The best case is we can pick and chose the best of both worlds. The worst case is more prevalent. Confusion, depression and lack of understanding.

Two things are sure...I can only know what makes me feel natural  and that is coming as close as I can to doing stereotypical girl things.  One of my biggest learning experience was adjusting to the dynamics of feminine communication and power structures...all so much more complex than male ones.

All of this is just a huge feast for thought and no, we are not there yet.

When is There a "T" in Crossdresser?

Recently, I have had the chance to explain to others my own transition from crossdresser to transgender person.
I understand each of our cases is different but I wanted to write about mine in the hopes I can understand the process more. Hopefully parts of it will ring true to you!
I've always believe the true transsexual kids have it better if there is such a thing in our culture. They start with a clear knowledge of their true gender.The rest of struggle with a huge why?
For the rest of us our transgendered existence starts off with a fetish attraction to clothes of the opposite gender.
I'm not an expert, but I'm thinking this is more prevalent in males more than females.  Hose, bras, girdles and "borrowed" feminine clothes are irrestible attractions.
Now, if the clothes stay more of a fetish to a person and become the end result for "dressing up" chances are you are the classic cross dresser. Let me point out, I am not making any value judgements-so don't attack me.
Where the "T" starts to become part of the cross dresser may start in the mirror.
Certainly any of us live in our mirrors.  The reflection serves as a validation of our chosen gender. How the validation works is the important part.
Do you see yourself looking the part of your chosen gender or do you see yourself as who you really are?
Here are the steps I took in my journey.
Yes, in the earliest days, the bras, hose and other female clothes were sexually stimulating to me-but not for long. Something was missing.
The missing "T" in my being took a long time to understand. Gender validation became less and less in how I looked and more and more on how I felt.
I'm not a huge fan of long drawn posts on subjects, so I will write more on this later including why many of us are obsessed with less than flattering photography of ourselves.

Fair and Un Biased?

Recently we have seen various documentaries centered around certain transgender youth. The obvious question is are these a positive or negative for our community?
Recently "In the Life" took a look at transgender and non conforming gender children.
Take a look:
On the plus side is "Janet Mock" transsexual female. On the negative side (of course) is Fox news using the word demonic... really?

Cyrsti's Quote of the Day

"Life is a thin line between what side of the dirt you are on!"

Unknown.

Weekly "Horror Scope"

Well here it is friends! From the Frisky.
Libra (September 23- October 22)
If you want to listen to sad songs and feel the romance of tragedy, go for it. After all, we all need to hit a bit of rock bottom to propel back into full working order. So, go ahead, play the baby, and throw yourself a glorious pity party, because by the time you’re done, you’ll probably want to turn up the music and dance!

Maybe it is referring to my new hormone induced emotional changes? Turn up that damn music!!!!!

We are Everywhere!

 Coming up Friday in the same week as the National Geographic transgender special aired-there is more coming Friday on ABC.  Here's the promo and yes I did notice how they destroyed Jenna Tackalova's name!

“Transgender” — the word and the shifts in sexual identity it encompasses — have become more mainstream. Transgender women have been on the cover of major fashion magazines, and one transgender woman, Donna Tackalova, recently competed in the Miss Universe Canada pageant.
Legal boundaries are being pushed. Nikki Araguz, a transgender widow of a firefighter, is suing the City of Wharton, Texas for workers’ compensation benefits that she was denied because she was born a man.
Perhaps most famously, Chaz Bono, a transgender man, competed on “Dancing With the Stars.”
But Bono received hate mail, an example of the discomfort many feel about this trend.
“What Would You Do?” tested people’s acceptance of transgender with a scenario set at Colonial Diner in Lyndhurst, N.J. Carmen Carrera, a 26-year-old transgender woman who has appeared on “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” played herself as if she were a waitress at the diner. Kevin, an actor, played a longtime customer back from a yearlong trip who deplores that the waiter he knew and liked as “Christopher” is now a woman.
“What the hell is the matter with you? Look at yourself! You’re a freak!” Kevin said.
“I’m not a freak, I’m transgender,” said Carrera. This appearance marks the first time Carrera has revealed that she is transgender.
How would diners react to Kevin’s scorn? Would anyone step in and defend Carrera?
One patron, Mary, tried to calm Kevin.
“Look at Chaz Bono,” she said. “Cher’s son. She used to have a daughter and now she’s a guy.”
Kevin only got angrier. “I don’t think I can even eat here!” he said. “This is disgusting.”
A group of women looked ready to rally behind Carrera, but right then Michael Rizzo, a diner regular, walked across the room to confront Kevin.
“It’s okay to be whoever you want to be. This is America,” Rizzo said.
Believe it or not, things were just getting started.
Watch the whole scenario on “What Would You Do?” Friday at 10 p.m. ET.