When is There a "T" in Crossdresser?

Recently, I have had the chance to explain to others my own transition from crossdresser to transgender person.
I understand each of our cases is different but I wanted to write about mine in the hopes I can understand the process more. Hopefully parts of it will ring true to you!
I've always believe the true transsexual kids have it better if there is such a thing in our culture. They start with a clear knowledge of their true gender.The rest of struggle with a huge why?
For the rest of us our transgendered existence starts off with a fetish attraction to clothes of the opposite gender.
I'm not an expert, but I'm thinking this is more prevalent in males more than females.  Hose, bras, girdles and "borrowed" feminine clothes are irrestible attractions.
Now, if the clothes stay more of a fetish to a person and become the end result for "dressing up" chances are you are the classic cross dresser. Let me point out, I am not making any value judgements-so don't attack me.
Where the "T" starts to become part of the cross dresser may start in the mirror.
Certainly any of us live in our mirrors.  The reflection serves as a validation of our chosen gender. How the validation works is the important part.
Do you see yourself looking the part of your chosen gender or do you see yourself as who you really are?
Here are the steps I took in my journey.
Yes, in the earliest days, the bras, hose and other female clothes were sexually stimulating to me-but not for long. Something was missing.
The missing "T" in my being took a long time to understand. Gender validation became less and less in how I looked and more and more on how I felt.
I'm not a huge fan of long drawn posts on subjects, so I will write more on this later including why many of us are obsessed with less than flattering photography of ourselves.