Comments!

Anne, once again for your edification I am going to point out your replies have been posted to the proper posts.
You simply must go to the posts to view them.
I know it must be hard for you to believe, I do have a life away from the computer screen and yes I could take your rants and make a separate post with them.
Then again, I don't have the time or inclination to do that. So, in the meantime you must take the effort to go to the post and see your replies have been posted.
As always Anne, your reply will be posted here on this particular post. 
I wish I had the power over Google Blogger to change the platform of this blog. I get the replies and they are posted...simple as that.
Secondly, I didn't set this up as a pure forum although comments and replies are always welcome. I just don't want to get bogged down into personal attacks which are so common in our community. In your life Anne perhaps you have been to meetings that get bogged down with minutia which can only be described as committee work. If person "A" wants to comment on what person "B" said in comments to this blog then they should establish contact with each other and go at it. That goes for me too Anne, like anyone else you are free to email me with any personal attacks you may have. My Email Anne is posted here.
Also Anne, this blog is for my own edification. I put the time and effort to love it, nourish it and put a lot of work into it. I'm sure you know Anne the amount of time to undertake something like this-AND the opinions expressed here are only mine and I never claim or claimed to be an expert.
My only goals are to help others with my experiences-to do the best I can. Everyone does not have to like me or agree with me!
Finally, I don't have the knowledge or time to change the entire platform of this blog to set a comment/forum style format you desire Anne. Certainly I'm working on it but in the meantime Anne, I afraid you are going to have to follow Google's rules that I didn't establish.
Someday I would love to meet you in person Anne.  Some tell me most people are much different in attack mode when they have to do it in person looking a person in the eye. Computers and social media have certainly have changed the dynamics the ideas of interpersonal communication. I guess I'm just old school.

Hormonal Update

Well, I can now say the first quarter is "in the book" I have been officially on the hormones now for 3 full months.
Along the way, I have documented the obvious. Most recently the crying binge and before that the first hot flashes and my skin drying out and becoming chaffed as if I spent the day out in subzero weather.
Of course, the beginning of breast development was an exciting experience.
The less obvious but much more important point I can't fail to overlook is the tremendous support of my friends.
I can safely say for most of my life I had many acquaintances and very few friends. Now the opposite is true.
The support and understanding I have received before I embarked on the hormone therapy was only exceeded by the support I received after I started.
Many of you I know read the blog and a few don't but to all of you I can only say any benefits from the hormones pales in comparison to knowing all of you!
Thanks more than I can say and I can't wait for the next three months!

Quote of the Day

"We already love him. We just now have to love him better!"

From a PBS show on children.

Don't we all wish our families all thought this about us!!!

Dream Weaver

I know there are several of you who join us on the blog who believe in the meaning of dreams.
Truly it's another one of those vague philosophies I don't believe or disbelieve in.
Now, for the first time in my life I am encountering a reoccurring set of frustrating rest inhibiting dreams. No, they are not nightmares.
Basically, here is how these set of dreams have fallen into a real pattern.
In them, I'm always stuck in situations where for what ever reason there is no way out.
Let me reiterate, I'm not in any physical danger. It's more as if I'm stuck in different kinds of mental mazes and trying to find the exit.
Whatever I'm trying to do however,  I can't find the right items or people to get it done. The situations I'm in change but the lack of resolution stays the same.
 Either I wake up or wake myself up in a total state of frustration. 
Of course I'm always trying to connect the dots with all of this to my transgendered feelings or even the changing of the hormones in my body
Maybe my subconscious is transferring the process to my dreams?
I don't know.
I have always prided myself in being tenacious if nothing else. I just know that during one of these dreams I will finally solve whatever problem or situation I'm facing.
I know I am solving my gender dysfunction in my everyday life. I just have to convince my subconscious I guess!

I am Transgendered

Check this vdieo!

Evening Spring Storms

Well it took awhile, tomorrow marks three full months on hormones.
 As I sat on my porch watching a thunderstorm roll in, here they came. First a deep melancholy enveloped me.
Not a deep dark cloud like the ones above me. Just a deep sense of what my life used to be and how different it was and...it was utterly and completely gone.
Then came moisture in my eyes followed by deep sobs that actually became painful after a while. The truth was nothing in my being had prepared me for this moment. Living as an emotional rock shielded me from this moment of vulnerability.
The odd part was I was not sobbing out of despair.  Deep down my soul told me I was where I needed to be and where I needed to go. I was saying goodbye to an era of life and loved ones I will never see again. No they didn't reject me, they are deceased.
I lived through a great bit of pain but wouldn't accept the sorrow.
As tears blur my eyes again, the storm has passed and the evening stars are shining bright!

Making A Difference!

From Oklahoma, "OK Magazine" comes the news that transgendered woman Brittany M. Novotny has been nominated for their "Best of the Best 2012" Award.
Here's more:
"In 2010, Novotny ran for political office, a House of Representatives seat, against veteran Oklahoma politician Sally Kern. She lost the race, but it hasn’t hindered Novotny’s belief that with big risks come big rewards. “You have to take risks if you want to do big things,” she says. “You will undoubtedly fail and make some mistakes, but it’s learning from those mistakes that will help you reach your dreams.” A private practice attorney, Novotny sees herself as an advocate for Oklahomans whose rights have been violated. “Sometimes my job entails a lot of reading and paperwork, and other times it involves public speaking and convincing jurors to see my case the way I see it,” she says. Novotny serves on the Community Advisory Board for the SKIL program at Youth Services of Oklahoma County, which helps teens who find themselves without a home to stay in school and get their diploma. She also volunteers on local political campaigns and does pro bono legal work for needy individuals or organizations."


Just as an aside, Sally Kern is a rather right wing politician Brittany ran against!
Making a difference-INDEED!

We Have Comments!

Once again the "Google Gods" have seen fit to save all the comments and toss them all in today. For all of you who sent them in THANKS and I will answer all today!
Promise!!!!

Cyrsti

Familiariarity with the Unfamiliar?

Maybe you have been there. You are sure you have been in a certain place or situation but then again knew you hadn't.
It's called "Deja Vu" by some.
Maybe why that is why I feel so naturally feminine now and why the whole feeling surpasses the need for a genital change in me? (Which is so important to others to think I should???)
Perhaps you heard of the theory of prenatal drugs given to expectant and pregnant mothers in the late 40's and early 1950's. I don't remember the whole story but research is being done to see if one of the most popular drugs of the time had a tendency to promote increased levels of female hormones. This in turn could have affected the fetus.
I was born in that time period.
Maybe the feminine feelings I fought so hard to understand and then deny were just my destiny.
My whole life was just "Deja Vu"?