New Friends and New Ideas

I met a friend in person for the first time last night and she shared her thoughts on being on female hormones for a year.
Most of her thoughts I had heard before. It was really nice to hear them from a voice.  She felt the changes were more profound from a mental point of view. Sure her skin changed and she developed her own noticeable breasts.
We talked about the changes in perception she had gone through on an emotional level primarily.
The conversation moved on to actually having the opportunity to join the sorority, even on a temporary basis. Any small glimpse into the "other" gender will give you a definite idea if you want to continue to join the sorority.
"Jezebel's" Melissa Jeltson recently wrote an article describing how her best male friend became her best girl friend. 
Very important gender issues such as space and power are discussed in the article. Here is a sample.
"Juno's experience as a woman is so new. Over dinner and wine, we talk about what it means to identify as female. She tells me of the first time she experienced female jealously, felt the piercing glare from another girl, wracked with envy. She tells me about feeling a loss of personal space as a woman, of having to protect the area around her body in a way she never had to as a man."
So real! Men reach over and around me in a way that would never happen if I was a guy.
On the other hand the positives of being more in touch with your body are also discussed." She tells me about feeling the power of being a woman, how the world can be gentler to you, people smile at you more, treat you kinder. She says physically, she feels more relaxed and engaged with her body."
I am more in touch with my body already without the hormones. The different curves I have give me a completely different feel of the environment  Close spaces need to be negotiated different or a breast bump on an object or person is not out of the question! Sure guys may not mind it but it certainly is awkward.  Let's not forget the totally different dynamic of wearing a skirt. A skirt alone will make you very more aware of your body.
I agree the world is a kinder, gentler place as a girl...even a trans one such as I!

Picture Panic!

The new techno girl Cyrsti has a new "Android" phone. Talk about feeling backwards!
I finally figured out how to actually answer a call and more importantly text.
I'm a text "addict" and I look forward to seeing how the phone works with my nails.
Texting works well for me in the noisy places I hang out in.
I don't like the fact a mere phrase can be taken out of context though.
I have written about about the cell phone as an accessory. Now I can use it as better access to by blog and social media such as Facebook and Twitter.
If I can only figure out to use it!

Paying Attention?

I decided to split these two small posts up because I did "come out" to the female friend I mentioned tonight.
She is a dear "long term" friend and I really wasn't planning on saying anything.
The meeting we attended partially involved planning the future. As we talked about the future, I just had to tell her mine.
As I figured, she took it in stride and said "so what?" I had much more trouble telling her.
Now I have told almost all of the people I care about being transgendered.  What a relief!!!!

Who Wears The Pants?

Very rarely do I ever attempt to dress up a much as a guy.
I do my guy drag to go to work and other than that I just don't need male attire very often.
Tonight was one of those nights I was meeting a female (birth) friend who at the start of the evening knew nothing about me being transgendered. We were going to a meeting that required a male clothing upgrade.
It really wasn't until I started to go through the closet did it occur to me how neglected my male clothes are!
No real surprise as I started to think about it. The only real surprise was that I hadn't thought of it before.

"Two Spirits" and Four Genders.

Independent Lens   ("PBS") is airing a documentary on the brief life of  Fred Martinez. Martinez was one of the youngest hate-crime victims in modern history when he was brutally murdered at 16. Two Spirits explores the life and death of a boy who was also a girl, and the essentially spiritual nature of gender.Fred Martinez was "Navajo" one of the native American ancient cultures that believed people who integrated genders were indeed special.
In Navajo culture there are actually four genders and other groups recognize more. The site actually provides background into these beliefs.
I don't have to tell you the respect I have for the ancient cultures who knew what we know.  Any inside view of both genders at all  should enable us to be better humans
We of course have interaction problems with society which distorts our view. People who fear or hate us suffer from their own distortions. It is very easy to blame several "pseudo" religious groups in particular for distortions that lead to terrible stories such as Fred Martinez.
We as transgendered humans need to embrace the Two Spirits culture.
That does not mean to "turn the other cheek" to society.  It is our responsibility to share our knowledge with others and not hide behind our skirts

No One Cared!

Nothing to write about. A whole evening of hanging out as a girl. No reaction from anyone. Just one guy who I see quite a bit was looking me up and down. My outfit? Conservative but breast dominated.  My favorite jeans, black jacket and thin decorated white tee...Nothing sexy to write about though.
I have a very difficult time adjusting to all of this. The inner voice that says any second someone is going to approach and say "You look great...for a guy dressed as a woman."
Nothing similar to that happened or has happened for a while.
I even had to stand in line for a stall in a woman's room last night...nothing from any of the other women. (Is  standing with my legs crossed girly enough?)
Could I have nothing to write about again? I hope so.
My journey is far from over I know. As the small battles become few, crossing the gender line and winning the war is in view.
What will I write about then?

On the Fun Side!

I really get tired sometimes of all the "heavy" ideas and happenings of living a transgendered life.
Here's a funny little story.
A week or so ago I was out making my rounds. Blond and beautiful (in my dreams) in my short black skirt and flip flops I slid out of my vehicle and started to walk towards a store.  Without really looking around, I noticed a darned quarter on the ground by the car. Being the thrifty person I am I dove for it. On my way down I quickly remembered what I was wearing and maybe picking up the quarter wasn't such a good idea.  No problem, no one around anyway. WRONG! I picked up the coin and looked straight into the eyes of a man who happened upon the scene. (of course)
From the bemused look on his face, I had no idea of what he thought,
I only know I quickly recovered my dignity and made my way to the store. My only redeeming value came from the fact I was wearing sunglasses. He couldn't see the shock in my eyes!
Lesson learned...wear the skirt and leave the change alone!

"Mo" VA

I just wanted to pass along  more thoughts about the VA transgendered directive.As it turns out "Billie" (one of our readers) got the ball rolling when she said "I would be suspicious of the "mental health" facet! The government has been known to give free frontal lobotomies too!"
Ironically, following a level of euphoria, I experienced  trepidation and then suspicion.
I explained the euphoria earlier. All of a sudden this great big door opened to a room I thought was impossible to enter. Then again, I had previously stuck my foot in the door. Before I could be subscribed a certain med, I had to talk to a VA "shrink" and a counselor. I seriously considered telling them of my transgendered leanings then but didn't. The new directive should change any adverse reaction on their part and give me a possible direction...hormones.
By that time trepidation was sneaking into my consciousness. I was afraid yet excited. Now what? Is it finally time to take this to a new level? What the hell am I waiting for. I wake up every morning with the desire to have my own breasts. Nearly everyone in my life who matters knows of my life as a girl.
Then I thought "what if this isn't real?" It's a government agency for goodness sakes. Like "Billie" said the same group that brought us frontal lobotomies.
I went back to research more and the directive is real.
"VA provides health care for transgender patients, including
those who present at various points on their transition from one
gender to the next. This applies to all Veterans who are enrolled in
VA's health care system or who are otherwise eligible for VA care,
including: those who have had sex reassignment surgery outside of VHA,
those who might be considering such surgical intervention, and those
who do not wish to undergo sex reassignment surgery, but self-identify
as transgender. Intersex individuals may or may not have interest in
changing gender or in acting in ways that are discordant with their
assigned gender."
The VHA Directive is entitled Providing Health Care For
Transgender And Intersex Veterans
<http://www.va.gov/vhapublications/ViewPublication.asp?pub_ID=2416> ,
So there it is in black and white.
Certainly I'm not running down to my local VA clinic in the morning.
I will however, follow all aspects of this directive. Will there be a right wing back lash?  Will other veteran's groups protest. Will it matter?
In the meantime, hopefully "euphoria" will triumph in my life!
If "Karma" is at work here. She sent me a powerful message!
 

Wow!

The Veteran's Administration (VA) recently released this statement concerning transgendered vets. I am a a transgendered vet. This statement could certainly change my life! I will add more later!
From the "Sacramento Bee"
The Veterans Health Administration has informed its hospitals and clinics that transgender veterans are eligible for hormones, care before and after gender change surgery, and mental health counseling as part of their regular benefits.
In a directive issued Thursday, the VA reiterated that its facilities are not permitted to perform genital or breast surgeries on veterans in the process of changing genders.
But the agency confirmed that transgender patients are entitled to routine health care that takes their special needs into account and to transgender-specific treatments such as hormone therapy and "non-surgical, supportive care for complications of sex-reassignment surgery."