Transgendered...Not an Option!

Scanning the vast mass of inane e-mail messages I receive, I noticed a "free" offer from one of the "major" dating sites.
Of course I looked at it out of curiosity. That's just me! I had heard a while ago this site had added gay/lesbian possibilities. I thought maybe transgendered too?
Didn't take me long to find out. Under the who is seeking whom, the usual choices. "Man seeking woman, man seeking man" you know the rest. Well, as always I fit into none of these categories. Very used to that! I also knew that nothing is really free on these sites. So I went on with my life.
Once again though, our transgendered group was not an option. At the least they could have another listing for "I rather not say" or even "mixed."
I even went to a gay and lesbian site called "Chemistry" and couldn't find a transgendered category.
Yes, I know places exist for transgendered people but most are sleezy at best.
Unfortunately, our false "Jerry Springer" sensationalism must have proceeded us and doors are closed or we don't have enough economic clout to count. Recent survey's have indicated that could be the case too.
The "T" in"GLBT" is again silent.
No real surprise.

Wow!

I don't know if this has existed for awhile or not but Go to "Shape Shifters" by Mariette Pathy Allen!
It is part of the "Forward Thinking Museum" and wonderful.
cyrsti

Movie Review?

A scene from ... Dalam Botol, which features a gay male character who regrets having a sex-change procedure. Photograph: Bazuki Muhammad /Reuters

No not a review, just an update on Malaysia's first transgendered film. Of course it is billed as a gay film. The fact one of the lead characters had a sex change is a secondary headline. The producer has a friend who went through the surgery to please his gay boyfriend.
Certainly we have all heard of this before.  Examples graphically point to the difference between the gay and trans cultures".
From the "Guardian" comes this article.
"Boy meets boy. Boy falls in love with boy. Boy has a sex-change procedure in a misguided attempt to please his lover. Boy regrets his decision, moves back to hometown and falls in love with a girl.
Malaysia's film censorship rules require gay and transgendered characters to regret their actions and learn from supposed mistakes, guidelines to which … Dalam Botol had to conform in order to receive screening permission."
This film, of course is not being well received in many sectors of the country. Specifically, the Muslim religious sector.
This ground breaking film will hopefully open many doors in Malaysia for the gay community. Those doors shouldn't be opened at the expense of the transgendered culture.

Behind the Pretty Curtain

"If you can't beat them, join them" and if you are going to join, you need to know the rules".
Learning the rules to earn membership into the "Cis-Woman" world is not an easy process. No matter how feminine you appear, mental mistakes will easily get you rejected. Constantly I attempt to get behind the "pretty curtain" to learn tips women tell women. It is certainly not all that difficult to find any number of places.
I've mentioned to all of you the fascination I have with a couple of sites I subscribe to. (free) One is part of "The Frisky" called "FLBL", "For Ladies., By Ladies." The latest article linked here is about 5 things women keep secret the most. Another site Is "Betty Confidencial.com." I fell in love with an article about "what men are attracted to in a woman."  If I'm going to play in their sandbox, I need all the help I can get and then some!
Of course these sites add different female directed features such as fashion, make up and gossip. Once I pull something of importance to me from one of these places, I head to "Fabulous after 40" for tips on how to make it work for me,
As I said a number of times before, if I'm identified as trans..I want to be at my best!

Catching Up!

OMG, I feel like I've been away from all of you for "eon's" (what is that?). In reality I know it hasn't been that long. Just feels that way!
Been kind of distracted with life's stupid problems like work etc. They have a way of being important!
Around my world I have two or three people that I will call personal blogs. We exchange information face to face or on the phone. Their best question is "any new adventures"?
Well (as always) some new adventures did come and go.
For some reason we will blame on the full moon, my two dating sites just lit up like a Christmas tree early this week. I'm experienced enough to know now that men "hit it and quit it" on those sites frequently. This time I encountered one who didn't want to hit it and quit but just couldn't understand my true gender status. There was just not any way there could be any male in me. Message after message proved to me once again how the male  mind tunes out a woman.  He was tuning me out until I finally got the message across to him.  I am not the natural born woman of his dreams and not even the transsexual woman who has completed her "SRS". Haven't heard from him since. The same as most of the others who showed up on my dating doorstep and faded quickly away.  From what I read on the some the women's sites I subscribe too, that's fairly normal for all women. So I'm learning yet another gender lesson.
On the positive side, I'm looking forward to meeting a male friend I have chatted with on occasion and getting some girl talk in Thursday.
It is amusing that more than a couple of my acquaintances are sure I'm living this wild sexual existence with my pick of either gender. I guess if I was having as much fun as some think I have on the "gender frontier" I couldn't walk for a month!
So much for the adventures of the week!
I did make strides recently by speaking (rather than having a stare down) with other women. Can't make friends by being a bitch!
"Aw-right" I feel better now. Catching up with you is always fun! Hope your adventures, big or small are exciting for you!

It Happened

By nature, I'm a very competitive person. My athletic history is one of lack of talent made up with desire.
For the first time last night, I let a guy win.
One of my favorite pursuits is playing one of those national trivia games on the TV's in a Pub I go to. There are a couple men and a woman that I will go all out to beat. Love to see my name on top and wonder how the guys feel about getting beat by a trans girl. I'm fairly sure one knows and one doesn't.
Then there is an older guy who always plays and always loses and has the whole affair down to a science. He always dresses nice, drinks the same beer at the same pace every game.  He times the breaks almost perfect when he goes out to smoke a cigarette on the patio. He has it down to a routine...including losing.
I couldn't take it anymore last night. It was early and we were the only two playing. I wasn't staying long and only had time for a couple games or so. Being the ditz I am, I didn't notice we were the only two playing. (I probably wouldn't have played).
Per norm, I won the first two games and was ahead in the third. Something inside of me said "enough is enough". I let him come back and win. A feminine thing to do? I don't know. I know women who want to win every bit as much as I used to. As with every sweeping gender statement or stereotype, there are many exceptions.
I only know I have never done it in my life and wouldn't have considered it as my guy self. At the least it was the nice thing to do. It felt right, the same as living as a woman.
The best part? His smile and goodbye when I left.

All Dressed up!

And nothing to say! Certainly it's a rare moment when my over active mind slows down and this week is one of them.
What to do? Take the easy way out and bring back one of my posts from last year!
I presented this post in December of last year and it turned out to be one of the most commented on!

I've always believed that very few of us started down the transgendered path with a true goal or outcome in mind.
Many trans girls started with a basic fetish with female clothing. Others may have been initiated by a family member, Halloween party or school play.
 Along the way, the reasons for being transgendered in the first place just seemed to fade away and the reality of being took over.
In my own case, the clothes, makeup and hair became less of a thrill and more of a lifestyle. Not too say I can't still get a real thrill from the right outfit or public reaction. Not unlike the feelings a genetic girl would have.
Two other trans girls I follow have addressed this transition also. "Stana" and "Janie" interestingly enough approach the subject from different angles, but come up with the same answer.  All of the sudden, this female thing started to feel so natural..with all of us.
How does it happen without injecting hormones to change the body or the brain with chemicals? Number one you have to want to and then work to get there.  I said a number of times the majority of males can present female if they try and have the right help. That doesn't mean you are going out and winning your local beauty pageant anytime soon or you can go out and move effortlessly in public. Start somewhere slow.
In my case, I went to closeted meetings and then began to go with certain "girls" to gay clubs. Over the years I worked on my appearance and started to shop for my own clothes.  Finally I'm to the point I am today.
Others say they admire my looks or boldness. That's all good but my persistence is all that should be admired. I can't tell you how many times I've been reduced to tears over the years only to pull on the pantyhose and try again.
Then again maybe you will never get to the point where your transgender fantasy becomes life and that's OK.
The lifestyle is so varied and complex there is plenty of room for you! You just have to work hard to find your spot.

Transgendered Good Question?

Would less transgendered individuals go through surgery in a genderless world? Would simply being transgendered be enough?
If you could simply dress the way you desired every day, what kind of difference would it make?
I believe the "ideal" transgendered world would never exist of course but many would still go through the surgery to correct the body and mind balance.
The question is covered in depth by "Matt Kailey" in his "Transfesto".!
It was of great interest to me as I don't see surgery in my future!

Transgendered Fashion. Got it?

Transgendered girls normally take a while to find and grow into their own style.
We get a late start in life and usually are part time at first. We need all the help we can get! I have become really obsessed with this as I'm making up for the lost time I spent attempting to discover my style.
Over the year I've mentioned my battles with the mirror.. I've also mentioned the "Fabulous after 40" site as a wonderful information site for us transgendered girls that are "more mature" It's a perfect place to form ideas on your look. All of the sudden you could be the older stylish woman you admire. Not the bland one you don't or the one who seemingly is always dressed ten years older. Where else could you read about the pros and cons of wearing combat boots after 40?
You are never to old to learn the "tricks" of current fashion and how some women thrive and most don't.
Be sure to give it a look and have some fun and don't forget the excitement of your thrift store treasures!
Even if  they aren't combat boots. Been there...done that.