Friday, March 4, 2011

Hiding in Site? Transgendered Girls.

How exactly does a man meet one of us?
Why is it so difficult?
I have an on line friend who enjoyed a wonderful relationship with a "Pre Op TS". She moved and he is left seeking another and having a rough time. I have had several "Yahoo" connects who echo his sentiment.
We all know there are many of us out there. That is where the problem starts. The transgendered woman has to be out for a start. Their closet is very small to start with and often includes a spouse. No more room for you.
What's worse, this can go two directions. Obviously we have the girls who are still in the closet and not available. We also have the women who have gone through all the surgery and are quietly leading "stealth" lives. Take both of these groups off the dating board.
Then, you have the sexual aspect. Sexual attraction could be a bigger problem than the first two together. The vast majority of the transgendered girls I have interacted with over the years had no interest in men. At least said they did. Subtract more girls from the board.
What's a man to do? Certainly, there are many sites who cater to men who want to date transgender. Many of those are nearly pornographic in nature. The others? Yes, you can find quality people on line but it's tough! I have posted on several dating sites as a female. (due to no choice) Then I explain my transgendered status. I assume there may be others like me. That is one idea.
How about local groups? Very difficult. the ones I have been involved with are pretty much closed environments due to closeted individuals.
Truly, the whole process is like finding that "needle in the haystack" and you don't want to get "stuck" when you find it.
I personally feel the pain because I've been looking for a transgendered "sister" to just hang out with. Shop, girl talk etc with absolutely no luck. I've found the most aggressive people seeking transgendered women are other trans girls...sexually!
So what can I say but "Good Luck"! We truly are rare creatures!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Transistion Pioneer?

The first crossdresser to transisiton?
A couple of days ago, I read  a comment in one of the groups I'm in. The person said she had never met a person who transitioned who was a crossdresser.. I really didn't understand but then again I did.
I know many today are moving towards labeling transsexuals as a medical situation rather than a mental one.  I'm not smart enough to even try to get into that debate. (or want to)
I've always maintained  that all of us are crossdressers. From the guy who wears his wife's panties once a week to a fully changed woman, we are still wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. Having said that, I don't think of myself as a crossdresser. Why? Because I SO much feel like a girl most of the time. Even that can be argued.  How could I ever know what a real girl feels like?
"Virginia Prince" circa 1948.
Who cares, it's all sematics. (and boring at that). Back to trans pioneer women.
We will never no for sure, but "Virginia Prince" could have been the publicized first. She was a trans pioneer who took the full time path without any surgery. She did take hormones and underwent electrolysis however and was one of the few resources for "hetero crossdressers" back in her day.
So, by not going through surgery was Virginia more of a crossdresser
who went through transisiton than Christine Jorgensen?
We will never know how Virginia herself would have approached this. She excluded gays and transsexuals and was a huge proponent of "ladylike" behavior.
Her opinion today would certainly be interesting.
I f she stepped to the podium to accept her pioneer award. She certainly would have been dressed appropriately!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Another Piece of the Puzzle?

During my recent experiences on a couple dating sites, I have put together another piece of my transgendered puzzle.
Time and time again I get asked "what kind of man are you attracted to?"  Finally I figured it out. A macho man with an active intellect and humor.
Ironically enough, my three dates have all been "macho" big guys.  I thought initially the size and demeanor of the men just made me feel safe and feminine.
Now I feel it somehow goes deeper. Deeper than I imagined.
It took years to develop my own personal style. Now comes the character issues that come with it. 
We all know both genders have interest in our type of girl.  Especially men.
The next frontier is the sexual one, which I will never get into here. However men are men and we all know how they think. (Not a negative)
Maybe sooner more than later, life will give me more answers on my primary self!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

OMG More Stuff!

War of the worlds erupted in my life last night.
I was sitting in one my favorite spots sipping an adult beverage enjoying my look and feel. You know  the stars were coming together. The deep satisfaction of feeling like a girl was making me all kinds of warm and fuzzy and I was talking girl talk to one of my bartender friends and a woman I had met before.
BAMM! My phone starts to buzz.  Life was good!
Two different cis-women from my guy life trying to see me last night.  One just wanted to sell me something so I blew her off but the other is one of the best friends I have and has been with me through death and financial disaster. I could not blow her off, so I had to go back and see her as my other self. For the record she knows of my trans status but chooses not to approach it. I respect her decision.
On top of that, my work tried to call me back in to close a store last night!  AAAAH!
On the positive side, I'm in a Yahoo group called "Only the Best Girls". The group features a "cover girl of the month and I thought I would pass her on!
WOW!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Hard to Believe

It has been nine months since this blog hit the world wide web thanks to Al Gore.
I thought I would get brave and look back at the first post.
Some three hundred posts later, this was how it all started!
Here is one of the stories I sent to a friend  and she thought I should share so...Here" ya" go! Direct from alternate life style redneck bars , two stellar tales...of me being me.
The first establishment basically was a female biker bar, not hardcore outlaw women, but a serious crew none the less. The best way I can describe the place was I got the juke box turned off one night when I played Shania Twane "Lord I feel like a Woman." No sense of humor...kind of like the urinal that was made into a planter.
The best pick up line I heard was "you don't look half bad. Maybe I should take you with me and we can see what kind of time we could have."
YAHOO. Me thinks that could have hurt!
Back in those days my wife was still alive and I had to be home around midnight. She got off about that time and I had to be presentable with all signs of makeup gone. Believe me, no amount of jabbering would have saved my place in the house when I told her I was abducted by an alien lesbian.
A kinder and gentler lesbian bar also operated on the same side of town. I made friends there that I'm in touch with today. (5 years later)
One night karaoke was the entertainment. Here she comes...burr haircut, cowboy hat and weighing in at a
conservative 250.
I'm in long blond hair, tight jeans and boots. It occurred to me quickly...  it may be about time I started sharpening up my non existent singing skills.
She did ask me to sing, she TOLD me to pick out a song. I thought "is this the way they treat girls in Texas?" 
I opted for the only song my male self destroyed after many beers...the romantic ballad
 "You don't have to call me Darling, Darling.  You don't even call me by my name."
 David Allan Coe if you're familiar.(I think he wrote it in jail?)
After we made sweet music (ha) she said "your voice is as low as mine!"
I felt as if I was in a "Lola" song remake, just all twisted up. In this version, I was the guy and she was Lola. Well, I kind of was the guy and she was kind of the girl but backward... when and if she put me on her knee. I thought maybe I could outrun her if I took my boots off!
We parted friends (thank god!) and I don't truly know if she guessed my gender. I had never seen her before or after!
Unfortunately all the pure lesbian bars are closed now in the area. How
sad. I miss drinking free. But more importantly, I won't get to try out
one of my top fantasies...female strippers in a lesbian bar! Dammit!
Mo MO MO! as Billy Idol would say was coming up!
Some fifty thousand visitors have read all or part of the blog over the past 9 months which is small compared to some but huge in my mind. I would like to thank all of you again for the chance to share a slice of my life with you!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

This Says It All!

I wonder on occasion why some of us say or think we don't have a chance with a "real man".  In the majority of cases, the "real man" we don't have any chance with is a gay one.
This letter tells us all why we have a chance!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My first love was a beautiful transsexual
woman and she just loved being a woman so much. She delighted in
frills and satin and lace and stockings and pretty clothes. No one
since has ever appreciated her femininity in the way this special
woman did. She had all the operations years ago and had worked so hard
to get a body that matched her intensely feminine soul. Our
relationship sadly came to an end because of my big promotion and move
to Winnipeg, and her desire to stay in Montreal. Two years have passed
and understandably, she has another man. I have dated some very nice
straight women here but they only dress up on special occasions.
Winnipeg women love their old jeans and comfy clothes. So, I find I'm
not satisfied with the women I meet because they're not the
ultra-feminine woman she was. I miss taking my woman out for Saturday
shopping trips to buy her beautiful things. I guess I got spoiled. If
I advertise I'm transsexual-friendly online I'm going to look weird
and suspect, like I have a strange obsession and might be scary. I am
a straight guy who lucked into meeting my first love, and hope to meet
a similar lady who enjoys living in Winnipeg, which will be my home
now. I just want that kind of woman who's kind of an old-fashioned
southern belle. Help! -- Vive La Difference, Wpg.
This comes from the "Winnepeg Free Press"
Cyrsti

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Slip Slding Away.

Enjoyed a super evening last night  A friend and I got together for some adult beverages and some electronic trivia. She and I are both relatively competitive and immediately developed a grudge against the best trivia player in the pub. We  did manage to beat him once or twice!
As the night progressed, the other patrons kind of faded into the background. I was not worried about being "spotted" I was just me.
On occasion I did look around (as any one would) and again there was nobody looking back I felt entirely comfortable and secure in my skin.
As I always do, I had to spend some serious "think" time on the whys and hows of the evening.
One fact stands out, attitude ranks somewhere up there with looks if you are in my gender situation.
During the day, I was chatting back and forth with a trans woman who has gone the "SRS" route.
By the time I was getting ready to go out, I was convinced I had no chance of not getting laughed out of everywhere I went. After all, I had not gone through all the needed electrolysis and hormones to make my face smooth as silk. She was right, I hadn't! But, it didn't matter. My beard doesn't really show and I guess my pores didn't matter. I was home. I was who I was supposed to be.
As the room and all the people sort of slid away my girl thought.... life was good!

Friday, February 25, 2011

A Free Sex Change?

Yes, in Thailand of course. From the "Bangkok Post" comes this story.
Sexual reassignment surgery is not currently covered by any health
care system in Thailand. The Sister's Hand foundation is a private
organization that was set up to provide a small number of transgenders
with the necessary funding for full surgery.
A competition is held every year for the gift. Started in 2010, this is the second year of the project. There are
only five places available as each operation costs approximately
100,000 baht. Almost 100 people applied.
Photos by Somchai Poomlard.

A couple of these pictures prove that not EVERY trans woman in Thailand is beautiful.


























Except maybe the final photo above. Identified only as a "cabaret performer".
Do you think any national organization here will step forward to set up such a fund? Naah!

Transgender Fiction

I've seen this art form a lot.
"Jenny North" has a site called "TG Graphics and Fiction Archive".
I have never been really into much of the real fiction, I choose to believe much of the other information I see and read. (which could be fiction too!)
The whole venue is such an interesting part of our culture that I had to pass it along.
If you haven't been to the site yet, there is a ton of material.
Here's a small example:
If you go to the "Femulate" site much, "Stana" uses many similar cartoons!
Enjoy!

Finding your Happy Place as a Trans Girl

Image from Trans Outreach, JJ Hart As I negotiated my way through the gender wilderness I was in, I needed to reach out at times to find mom...