Nice to be Wanted

 

Image from UnSplash.

This morning, I had several errands to run. 

Neither of the errands required much prep time on my part since I knew ahead of time what I was going to face. Speaking of face, almost all that I did this morning was shaved mine. After a very close shave and an application of moisturizer, I was almost ready to go. 

When I arrived at my first destination, it was mostly empty, so I headed directly for the greeting/birthday card section. The pressure was on to buy the right cards to the best of my ability. The first card I needed was for a longtime friend of mine whose mother who is turning one hundred this year. I was thinking what in the world type of card could I ever get which would be appropriate for a person reaching such a wonderful milestone in her life. I think I picked a card which would be fine for the occasion.

The second card I had to pick out was for my wife Liz's brother who was reaching a milestone of his own. His 60th birthday. In addition, he has a very dry sense of humor, so it was difficult to judge which, if any, card would work for him or Liz. One way or another, in a vacuum, I made a decision for better or worse and moved on to the other items I needed to pick up. 

My first interaction face to face with a person in the store was with a clerk who was checking me out. In more ways than one, I think. To be clear, I don't think he found me attractive, but I do think he knew I was transgender. The reason was, he was very, very nice to me and made me feel very welcome as I left the store with my cards and other items I needed.

After a couple of other stops, equally as positive, I finally stopped at a coffee shop drive thru to pick up coffee and breakfast items for Liz and me. After the give and take with the guy at the speaker and window, I received my order and was pleasantly surprised when the name on my cup said, "You Rock!"  

The whole morning was obviously very supportive for me, and I am fortunate to live in a liberal suburb of Cincinnati and it showed this morning. Plus, I was waited on by younger men who seem to be more accepting to an obvious transgender woman. 

Changing the subject now, my resignation from the Greater Cincinnati Alzheimer's diversity council when they decided to drop the "diversity" part of their name was accepted so it now is a part of my past. I am saddened but was something I needed to do and not be a hypocrite.  

Finally, today, I am awaiting news on my request to renew my Estradiol prescription with my VA endocrinologist. The whole process used to be fairly routine but now, I am not so sure. When I hear back, I will let you all know. 

For me, it has been a busy day.

In a further update, my request to renew my Estradiol patches has been approved, so I am very relieved! 

The Comfort Zone

 

My trans friend Racquel

As a transgender woman or a trans man, you often encounter major barriers when it comes to reaching our gender comfort zones.

We have all sorts of setbacks such as family and spouses, employment and potential loss of friends. Giving up the life we had been leading is never an easy decision to make. It's definitely more than just an easy choice which a percentage of people (or transphobes) think it is. For some reason, they think it is just a matter of transgender people putting away their clothes and returning to their birth genders. They don't understand how deep our experiences run. Along the way, we become very resilient in our journeys and for the most part, our tribe is strong.

We are strong, in part, because of the time and experiences we went through to reach our comfort zones. I know I had to endure stares all the way to out and out laughter in the early days when I went out and challenged the world. Catching up with all the years I lost not growing up as a girl really came back to haunt me when I had to struggle to catch up. No one taught me the basics of fashion and makeup. More importantly, I did not have the confidence I needed to move forward to even learn if my gender dreams could ever become a reality. Which was the most important thing to me.

Slowly but surely, with success, my time in the comfort zone came around and I survived. It was never easy. To this day, when we traveled to the Florida Keys recently, after all I had been through in my life chasing my gender, I still was very nervous about several things I would face along the way on the bus tour.  I did not know how I would fare as a transgender woman on a bus full of strangers. Especially when it came to having restroom privileges as we traveled through the deep south. However, I can't spotlight the deep south for its anti-transgender laws when my native Ohio recently has passed some of the most restrictive trans laws in the country. I guess you could say, I could run but I could not hide.

Quickly, my fears dissolved as the other women on the bus began to not so slyly question my wife Liz and I's relationship. The reason was one woman said to Liz, she thought we were sisters. Which really increased my confidence and put me in a comfort zone which would last for the rest of the trip.

My comfort zone expanded, and I was able to enjoy my new reality of acceptance in my transgender womanhood. Of course, it was all challenged when I caught Covid on the way back to Ohio and ended up in a suburban Atlanta hospital. I was fortunate in that I had my Covid vaccine three months before and my case was lessened in its severity. My three days stay in the hospital really challenged my comfort zone because I have never had any gender altering surgeries. So, even though the staff initially thought I was a woman, it quickly became evident I was still a biological male. Hopefully, I won't have to go through an experience such as that for a while again.

As we all know, comfort zones are fleeting and have to be earned. You need to be patient and do the best you can until your confidence as a transgender woman or trans man comes along, and you are finally comfortable in your own skin. 

Tomorow is Here and It Is Ugly

 

Image from 
Charlesdeluvio on UnSplash

Back before the election and I was voicing my concerns about a tRumpt presidency, I received a comment from a self-professed transgender woman who said she was a conservative and supported the felon. 

Her reasoning was, he had not been that bad during his first term. She also mentioned nothing about all the negatives he spewed about the transgender population. Well, he is here now and in all his glory has shown an indication to destroy the foundation our country was built on. It turns out, the self-professed "king's" attacks on the transgender community were just the beginning. In fact, the attacks on DEI have reached down as far as my association with the local, Cincinnati, Alzheimer's chapter. 

For those of you who did not know, I have been a member of the local Diversity Commitee for the past several months or nearly a year. Very recently, the message came along from the council saying the Diversity Council would be changing its name. They were removing "Diversity" from the title. Naturally, I was shocked to say the least. The long tentacles of hate from the new felon's administration had suddenly become a stark reality to me. 

Since that time, I have decided to resign my spot on the committee in protest. The remainder of the group can pursue their new "health initiative" without me. 

With everything else happening in our country right now, I wonder what all the transgender women or trans men think now. 

As far as I go, I live in fear of my future. Not as far as being attacked is concerned but what potentially is going to happen with my Veteran's Administration health care benefits. I have a potentially key appointment coming up soon because my Estradiol prescription has run out. So, I will see if a problem getting my gender affirming hormones is going to be a problem or not. 

Looking further ahead, I fear after the Musk/tRumpt social security purges, what will happen with my future payments I use to live on. 

Bottom line is, I resent all the challenges I have to deal with at the age of 75. Just because a bunch of billionaires can increase their wealth. To hell with being a conservative or liberal, I just want to live and can't help being deeply resentful to all who support the king felon. Tomorrow arrived for me, and it is ugly.