Potty Principles Revisited

Every once in a while here in Cyrsti's Condo I try to back track a bit and bring up items which you newer visitors may have never seen.

One of the most important subjects which continues to cause major problems with many folks is the simple task of using the bathroom.

First of all, I am not going to get into any kind of discussion of being allowed to use the rest room at all. Also these are only my experiences. Yours could be quite different.

For the rest of you, especially those of you who are new to going public as a woman: there are going to be times when you need a rest room. Of course some are more trans user friendly than others. Here are examples:

Certain big box stores in my part of the world have their restrooms up by the front doors. You can slip in and out without going in the store at all. On the other end of the spectrum are the mall bathrooms with all the security cameras and guards in the mall. Other possibilities are restrooms in stores such as bookstores which again are usually under populated.

My other restroom stories are endless. From professional sports games to road side rest stops to bars to gay venues I have had to use the facilities. Now, here are my own personal rules:

1.- Get in and get out! A cursory glance in the mirror to check my hair and makeup is all I allow myself. If I'm alone I will do a little repair.

2.- Women pee in a hurry. Most are in and out quickly. I always head to a stall quickly and wait to see if someone comes in behind me. It's possible they are following me. If they pee, I'm normally safe to assume they weren't.

3.- Timing is everything. Sometimes I can take a bit more time in the stall while the woman ahead of me washes and leaves. On the other hand you can't hide in stall in a busy women's restroom. There could be a line. Let's reverse it. If you end up in a line...pulling your cell phone out of your purse is a good way to pass the time. Once you get into a stall...don't forget to lock it!

4.- Wash your hands!!!! Very few women don't. Also, look down before you sit down. Don't fall for these so called experts who proclaim the "pristine" conditions of women's rooms. They obviously haven't been to many.

5.- Carry a prop. A pad or tampon in your purse can really take you a long way. If a woman truly needs one  you will be a friend and if she is testing you...you won. The best prop you can have is another woman you know!

6.- Act like you have been there. If you are hitching up your big girl panties to be in the restroom...own it and faint later.

7.- NEVER take it for granted.  No matter how many times you have used the woman's room before and how well you present as a woman- all it takes is one person's complaint to cause you an embarrassing situation.

There you go. I'm sure many of you experienced readers can add your own "do's and don'ts" to this list. These are a few "basics" or "potty principles" of mine to pass along. Hope they help!

Horror Scope!

ALREADY kids it's time for another "Horror Scope" here in Cyrsti's Condo. Here we go!

Libra (September 23 - October 22)
" You’re going to have to get creative to save face, as showmanship is going to matter and dealing sternly with a certain someone needs to happen. After all, your fate is now dangling from a string and you know you can’t take these thrills any longer. Not to say you want your life to end in a stalemate, but just being able to stay still isn’t a luxury right now."

Way too many "action words" in this one! I'm lost in the scope but you don't have be lost in yours. To get it from theFrisky go here. While you are there take a look at the article "Why a straight guy cares about transgender rights."
Here's one excerpt:

Here’s why I take transgender issues personally… Because I or someone I love might get cancer at some point, and a trans person who is capable of discovering the cure is otherwise occupied defending their right to exist. I live in a world that needs leadership, and a smart, tireless trans person who should maybe be President is busy arguing that they deserve basic human respect. I want to drive a fucking flying car someday, and the trans person who might invent it is stuck responding to Guardian editorials that treat them like they’re subhuman."

 And this:   " But these fights aren’t anyone else’s struggle. They’re mine, too. They belong to all of us because the only way the world ever gets better is when people are able to use their talents to make better things for the rest of us to enjoy. And that doesn’t happen much when those talented people are busy fighting for their own survival."

It's encouraging of course to read this and more encouraging to see a site such as theFrisky to use it!

Sunday Morning Ramblings

Been busy chasing my tail lately. The worst part is I didn't catch it and I wondered where I would have found the time to do all these things if I had not retired!
Normally when I go through these times I have bits and pieces of ideas run through my mind which I would like to pass along and just don't get around to it.

The first was an animated chat a friend and I had about transphobic gay men. Do they have a tendency to be more transphobic and why. Sometimes I think they do and here is why. First, in some ways transgender women and men are forced on them. We go to their hang outs and sometimes don't interact so well. I've seen more than one cross dresser make a fool of himself in a gay club. On a deeper level though, a gay man has no more understanding of us than a hetero normal one does. If you throw in the drag queen culture, the average gay person has as much reason to wonder as the rest of the population. Plus on a deeper gender level, do we represent a "trip to the dark side" for an effeminate man who may have been teetering on the gender divide anyhow.  I'm biased but I certainly feel coming out gay is definitely easier than coming out transgender. We all know if you protest too much, you may have a dress hanging in the back of your closet hidden from the world.

Of course, I don't dwell on anything long, so it was time to move on.

The second thought that buzzed through my noggin came from a transgender vet blog reader who asked about how should she approach her first visit to a VA therapist. The whole question led me to thinking how much of a personal decision this was and how to handle it. My easy over simplistic answer was-just be yourself.  Easier said than done. I could only give my own rendition of hiking up my big girl panties and walking through the VA center as me. It was easier for my therapist to connect the dots since she never did she me as what was left of my guy self...BUT...my personal situation made that easier for me. I'm widowed and didn't have that part of the puzzle to wade through. My therapist wanted to make sure I had some sort of support system to fall back on if I started HRT. Also if I use the VA as an example, every center or clinic is different. From what I hear, my center in Ohio probably rates a B-. I would give them an A for wanting to do the right thing and a D- for having the tools to do it. While we are on the alphabet, let's toss in a "B" for bureaucracy on their end and a "P" for persistence on mine. I would guess the bottom line is somehow, someway you need to convince your therapist you need to go on a hormone path for your own mental well being. You notice I say "mental well being" not "mental illness".
As a final  point of reference, keep asking for another appointment with another person until you get one who you can relate to and ALWAYS remember to ask for the VA patient advocate in your center. The VA is directed to help you. Don't let them out of it!

As I embark on another busy week with the coldest weather in four years, I imagine my mind will go into overdrive again and I will certainly pass on the ramblings to you.
By the way, if you want to get a hold of me, my email is cyrstih@yahoo.com and if nothing crazy happens I should get back with you quickly. It helps if you put the "blog" word in the subject title.
Also, I never get into personal things by name in Cyrsti's Condo without your permission.