Transition?

I recently read a couple great discussions on  blogs I follow concerning the male to female life transition.. I started by reading "Stana's" review on her "Femulate"  blog.
On a personal level, I consider my life experiences as a girl as a transition.  I believe I've mentioned I have not pursued hormones or surgery yet. I have aggressively pursued nourishing my female thoughts and actions.
I guess it's the classic "what came first" question the mental or physical transition.
I'm very fortunate to have been able to mimic a woman physically in my life.  I've found that is the easy part. Over the years I've seen so many guys become the prettiest girls in the room to just become more miserable. Pretty is just the physical manifestation of being a girl.
I consider my interaction and acceptance in the public as a true sign of transition.
When and if I embark on hormones or any sort of surgery. I certainly don't want to be the bitter and lonely girl in the corner.

The "3 S's"of Transgendered Therapy

Sensory satisfaction plays a huge role in my transgendered life. In fact, being transgendered just sort of fades away. Apply what label you want (transvestite, crossdresser or transsexual), the sensual female experience is amazing.
Number three on my list is sound. As I was finishing my grocery shopping last night, I was acutely aware of the click of my heels.  This morning, the soft sound of my flip flops on the floor of the kitchen just made me feel a little more feminine.
Number two is scent. My own personal choice for years has been a vanilla body spray. The spray just gives me a light hint of scent when I move. I spray a touch into my hair which furthers the effect.
Number one of course is sight. From the soft swell of my breasts  to  long hair flowing over my shoulders and down my back provides deep satisfaction.  Toss in my manicured (stick on) nails and a couple fun rings on my fingers and I think you know the rest.
Much of this could be a reverse manifestation of my male life. If I did live full time as a girl, would the feelings be as dramatic? Probably not.
Would I know how the smell, sight and sounds of women effect guys. Absolutely! Maybe more so. After all, there hasn't been a woman born yet who hasn't seen or experienced what her sexuality could do to a guy. It's human nature. Then again, why are so many of us girls addicted to fashion? For ourselves? No for all of you male or female.
I have considered the narcissistic basis of all of this. My answer is yes I want to look as feminine as I can but be the best woman I can. Friendly and soft, I want to be approachable as possible as a transgendered girl in a sometimes crazy world. Then again...that is a whole different topic!

What Came First?

I've been working not so diligently on a "how to" book for guys who want to be girls.
You are right...yet another book? My take on most of the guides I see are that they are written by individuals who were beautiful boys to start with.
They didn't face the same obstacles presenting female as some of us. Different paths exist to arrive at the same goal. My path was different than theirs,,,no surprise.
As I was writing, I started to think of the addiction versus personality argument.  Was my desire to be a girl always as strong as ii is now or was the desire fueled by successes?
 How did I get from the first rush of pulling hose over my legs to the obsessive attention to (girl) detail I have today.
I will never know. In addition I will never know if I was as much girl then as I am now. It is easy to say "yes, I was". Then again, were the times I was called attractive  or "you make a better looking woman" defining moments that pushed me deeper? Each little success made all the failures easier to handle as I started to go out and live female,
The desire to succeed was powerful and the success euphoric. Did the "euphoria" lock me in deeper or was the desire there anyway and I was ignoring it.
Shame on me if I was. All the years of making myself and others around me miserable could have been averted.
I'm guessing but the predilection to be trans was always in me. I was enabled by how I looked but I had the obsession to live trans. In junior high I wanted to be the girl I sat next to.
I have written about my feelings following a couple dates with men. I was surprised on how deep the girl in me went. The experience was more than validating me as a girl.
Some days I feel the journey was worth all the twist and turns. That is what the book describes. Other days, I feel like a fool.
One thing is for certain. The past is the past. The only thing we can do with it is learn and pay forward to help others!