Friday, February 18, 2011

"Social Female"

The "chat" in the last post continued with my friend to the point of "cis women" as a whole and their reaction to us.
Her opinion turned out to be a lot more negative than mine. She thinks women have an "entitlement" issue with admitting a trans female into the circle. We haven't "paid the dues" so to speak and are we just a wolf in sheep's clothing? She feels her exclusion after "SRS" (by female friends) was an entitlement issue. Regardless of the change in genitalia, she was excluded from the female circle. My situation was (and is) different from hers and I would be excluded from my little network of friends if I went full time and had the change.
I  disagreed and pointed out I felt I had been admitted to a couple of circles and these are the reasons why.
First of all, let me give you my definition of friends in this situation. I see most of them once a week and text others on a regular basis. We know about each others lives to an extent and we seem to like each other. The group covers all of the female spectrum from straight to ftm. Here are some observations about the group.
My cis girlfriend doesn't like my male self. She prefers not to see me as a guy and never refers to me as one. 
Only one out of five has ever seen me as a guy and that was nearly two years ago. There has never been a secret that I am not a cis female but then again I'm treated as a "social" female. We talk make up, clothes, diets hair and family. I've been invited to couple "girls night out" and of course an NFL game.
I don't know where this all leads me except to feel wonderful about them.
No one has ever asked me about my gender plans for the future. My assumption is if I left for the SRS surgery and returned, I would still be me (with certain improvements of course).
In their eyes I still would be a social female anyhow, so I don't know why anything else would change.
So now I went and did it. I coined another term, "social female". It feels good though. As good as interacting with my friends. I know and they know I will never have experience of their lives.  On the other hand, "cis" or "social" can be bridged by a pleasant friendship.

Cyrsti

Thursday, February 17, 2011

"Steath Girls"

I chat with a very interesting, educated and intelligent woman at least once a week.  I would have had no way of knowing she was not born female from her pictures until she told me. I really respected her for that.
In her part of the world, she is going to interact with a government agency about discrimination. I immediately thought "transgendered" and she told me not necessarily.  Unless "outed" she was going to protest as a "bi female". I thought wow, our group and her group just got left out again.
I started to think about it and here is part of my response:.
I read "stealth" into much of your ideas.
I used to feel that the trans people who finished their journey just went away and vanished into thin air somehow hurt our group as a whole.
Our true role models disappear and we are left with Jerry Springer.
More and more, my ideas are changing. Realistically, if I was taking the path that you and many others have taken to evolve into your mental gender...I would go stealth too. Maybe.
One could even argue the term "stealth" could be changed to "arrive".
In addition, I try to be as stealth as the next trans girl in public. I am what I am and have very few problems any more in my chosen gender. So am I stealth or have I arrived?
I satisfy my need to "pay forward" and help others with my blog. That's enough right now.
The end result is I have so much respect for the "radicals" amoung us who are anti-stealth and showing the world who we really are. 
"Radical Queer" or whatever the "Anti Stealth" would be labeled is a fork in the road I will face later!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Drag Race Dee-Troit.

Here we go again. Yet another television "epic" featuring violence and drag queens in Detroit.
That's original!
If you are interested, follow the "Epic" link above to an article about ABC and their cop show "Detroit 1-8-7". In fact you can watch the entire episode.
"Nuff" said!

I'm Back...Mostly

  Well, my wife Liz and I's vacation to the Florida Keys was eventful, with many unexpected turns. Since I have quite a bit to write abo...