Fantasy 101

Ok girl and guyfriends, I know the word "fantasy" invokes delicious thoughts!
Sorry, kids I'm going to bring you down a bit and jump back to the "SNL" and "Craig Ferguson" shows.
The "big guys" pick what goes on of course but who wrote the garbage that slammed us?
My fantasy is to sit face to face, eyeball to eyeball with the people that write this slop.
I assume they are in NYC's "ivory tower. I lived there for awhile and the average New Yorker had very little idea of the rest of the nation that existed between the coasts. Maybe all they know is the old "Club Kids" scene or any of the "Drag Queens" in New York.  Maybe they even have met "RuPaul"! Which means they know nothing at all of us as a group. Perhaps they even saw one of the old "Church Lady" skits years ago when SNL was funny.
Maybe they missed the point that the "Church Lady" was poking fun at a particular kind of woman, not a group per se.  We all knew "Dana Carvey" was a man but he was playing a woman. Not a transgendered woman.
The SNL writers totally and completely missed all of this.  Ferguson's drivel was just that...nasty like the rest of his show designed for the substance challenged late night masses.
My other fear is that I would meet a stone cold bitch and all logical conversation would be lost! As a group we would be certainly farther behind!

"Mo Boo!"

Surely you remember the 5 year old boy who caused such a stir with a Halloween costume.
I remember thinking at the time what a stir the poor kid caused.  Being a five year old, "Boo" and his friends are probably  past the whole issue but of course the adults aren't. Specifically the adults in the church his family belongs to.
The true hero in all of this is Mom and she has a blog you have to read. "Nerdy Apple Bottom"  is the name of this amazing blog.
Her church of course has accused her of "promoting gayness". She is just promoting the right of her son to be who he is! Here is a brief sample."And again I say to you that bullying is not okay, even if you wrap it in a bow and call it "spiritual care."
Most importantly, this woman did not run and hide from all of this. She came out swinging!
Read her blog and see if you agree she embodies much of what we all admire in a woman!

Why?

How could anyone think we make a conscious choice to walk down the transgendered road when it is so difficult to navigate?
Do they really think we could put it down like smoking or drinking?
The recent stats show how many of us live in total poverty.  Worse yet,. the number of us that face violence (and lose) is just scary.
Add on the suicides, loss of family and friends and even discord within our own community and no reality show could ever really scratch the surface.
To coin a term OMG!
Over the years, I've tried to think of some of my worst enemies who I could share my "condition" with and came up with a big fat zero. I've never hated that much!
On the other hand I wouldn't want to share the "euphoria"I felt last night. Yes, I am that selfish and I couldn't even begin to realistically explain it to a "normal" gendered person. Walking through a group of partying people with my long black wavy hair. Shoulders back, favorite outfit, scarf and bling. OMG it was fun!
What can I say, except I'm so lucky not to live in poverty. I am not lucky enough to say I haven't considered offing myself. What's left of my family knows I'm trans and I really get upset over those in our community who believe a total sex change makes you a better person than a crossdresser.
The only certainty I have is uncertainty.  Do I risk health problems at this point in my life to be more of a female. Do I go away and live full time? Do I continue the dual status I live now?
The only answer I have is that I don't know.  Some days it's my own personal gender nightmare. More than likely, one I'll take to my grave.
All these years "they" said I could put all this behind me.  OMG!
(OMG means Oh My God!)