Right Place-Right Time-Right Mirror.

Returned home yesterday from an extended weekend mini trip and I had time to head out to my favorite Tuesday night spot. Cool!
Tossed on a predetermined outfit (often the best kind) and headed out the door . With me over thinking is over rated!
Arrived in time to get the last seat which I was grateful for until I could move to a "mirror seat". If you a "card carrying" TG girl, you know how important a mirror can be. You can check your appearance and see if anyone else is checking you. If you do it right.
All of it worked to perfection last night as a middle aged guy slid in beside me and ordered dinner. After he ate we struck up a lite conversation about where he was from, sports and his work.
The place was noisy, so we had to lean into each other to talk which he didn't seem to mind. There was no way to turn fully and talk face to face, so I could watch most of the interaction in the mirror in front of us. He was standing and I was sitting on a bar stool, so he was probably 6 to 8 " above me.
All I could see was a dark haired girl close to this guy leaning down ever so slightly to talk to her.
I was in heaven! Everything around me became a blur. I wished it could have lasted forever-but of course it didn't.
We went our separate ways.
He'll never know what a fun time it was! Hope it was for him too!

If I was a Boy.

I'm a little slow. I finally got around to listening to the "Beyonce" song "If I was a Boy".
The meaning is actually very simple. She would be a better man from her experiences as a woman.
Could we better women because of our experiences as a man?
We certainly could be!
If we understood that listening was a better solution to a problem than a quick fix.
If we learned that slower and smarter was better than a frontal attack?
If we learned a little from both of these, a man could be a better woman.
Many men never understand the workings of the female gender which leads to ignorance, distrust and sometimes violence.
What a shame. As some of us know who have been fortunate to have lived on both sides of the fence-what better humans we could make!
Her follow up song "If I was a Girl who was a Boy! What fun would that be!

Transgendered parade marshall Candis Cayne marches to her own drummer

Transgendered parade marshall Candis Cayne marches to her own drummer

I Got It!

I've always wondered about a major disconnect in guy self.
As I was working on another chapter of my book several nights ago, I stumbled upon a huge epiphany! (I love that word!)
As we all know, males are very visual critters. Especially when females are involved. Much to the dismay of the female you happened to be with.
As my eyes wondered to the attractive girl who walked within eyesight, I would normally get in trouble with the woman I was with for looking. "Sneak-a-peek" became a fun game. Until I got caught!
As my dual gendered personality became more evident, I wondered where the problem was.
I looked, but not with a sexual intent. Something was wrong!
The answer? My female side was looking at the women... as women do.
How good did the "B" look? What was she wearing? Did she look good in the clothes?
How would I look and WOW where did she get those shoes!
All those years being glared at by girlfriends and spouses! The excuse was so clear!
It's not me looking...it's her!

Shop till you Drop!

Included in the list of my top 5 asked questions is where do you get your clothes?
Followed quickly by- do I do my shopping as a girl? Yes, I do about 90% of the time. As a man, I’m almost as uncomfortable in a ladies clothing store as the next guy.
Question 2 is do I use the changing rooms? Not very much…by choice. I’m a diligent bargain shopper. I know my size and what piece of clothing I’m looking for. If a certain clothing item jumps out at me, I grab it!
Jeans are a different story. If I see a pair I like, I have to try them on. I’m not smart enough to know all the nuances of sizes and I’m fairly sure genetic women have the same problem. Start with a certain size and move downward! (We hope)
I’ve never had a problem asking to use a changing room. After all, I’m a paying customer like the next girl. I’ve never been told there was a problem.
If you are a little shy in this department, here are a couple things to remember.
Number one, you can become a regular in the store quickly. Some clerks do work on a commission and it is not difficult to establish a relationship with one who WANTS to help you! She can benefit from a monetary or personal point. Obviously you are a different shopper from the norm so be more fun! It gives the clerk a chance to work her "magic" with you!
Once the bond has been established, both of you can be more discreet in areas such as the dressing room. If you desire.
Number two; observe the interaction between women in these stores. Often the “B” word is too kind! I’ve mentioned this to several of my genetic female friends! Often you treat your same gender really bad! Especially in retail. They agree. Immediately, I’m in for better treatment because I treat the clerks with a friendly respect.
What did we learn girls? It is very easy to shop as a female. Fellow shoppers will be so involved in their search for the perfect outfit they are less likely to notice you at all. Treat the clerks with respect and you can become their personal regular quickly.
Shopping can be one of the easiest and most enjoyable parts of your life as a girl if you allow it to be!
One word of warning. Wear those comfortable shoes if you are planning to “shop till you drop”!

Why Do You Fail?

In your relationships as a transgendered person?
I'm a member of a very active and well populated TG site and a female spouse (very rare to the site) observed  there seemed to be a large group of separated individuals.
Her statement was "she would not leave her spouse just because of an external body change and increased pitch in the voice." Here was my response which was triggered by a dinner I went to last night.
I am widowed. My wife and I had parameters set on my "hobby". She knew of my "pastime" before we got married and stay married for 25 years.
The problem we ran into was the "hobby and pastime" became a lifestyle. The more she gave the more I wanted.
We survived because I loved her dearly.
I believe you see so many TG separations because- number one the initial bond wasn't that strong or the dynamics changed. OR
Let me use the couple I met last night as an example.
They have been together for around 20 years. They had a fight two years ago which led to him burning all his clothes. Now he paints his fingernails red and wears a bra stuffed with socks and goes to Wal Mart. He is not an effeminate or young guy who might pass for an androgynous girl. Call me silly, put I don't see this relationship surviving?
Last night's example is not the norm with couples I have met over the years...but then again I haven't met many couples. (The cis-female view here and in my world is rare.)
The guys I interact with fall into 3 categories. 1.- "The wife" doesn't understand , flat out refuses to participate and the relationship is history. 2.-CD's in remission, they would prefer to live their fantasy through me or others like me...until the wife finds out. She will and he goes back to the closet...pulls out a dress and the relationship is history. 3.- Or ,when husband puts that dress on, he is sexually into guys. Enough said on that. Relationship is history.
In my experience, you are a rare lady! You must have an incredible relationship!
With the great majority of others-the whole process becomes so much more complex than changing the outside of the body and changing the voice.

An Incurable Romantic!

This is a difficult post to share with you, hopefully I can make sense.
Over the past year or so, Ive been so fortunate to explore a life as a transgendered female.  It has been an exciting time with more ups than downs. At no point in my life did I ever believe I could achieve what I have.
BUT! (You knew it was coming!)
I found I still share a certain naivety with  teenage girls. Take my "Flickr" photo account for example. I posted around 10 pix in about 6 or 8 main groups. In response, I got about 1000 hits in a month. I'm obviously flattered. Then the contacts and comments started. Many were very explicit and I wasn't flattered.
Now, I know one of the most persistent rumors about TG women is that we are gay (not the problem) and we share a certain promiscuous sexual lifestyle with that group. (a problem).
I'm slower than the average human and all of this slapped me hard this week.
For about the third time in a row I met up with a person in sort of a blind date situation.  This person was another TG so I envisioned a different evening. She was very interested in pursuing something sexual...quickly.
Which was fine. Just not my agenda.
The bottom line to all of this is...I changed my profile to include "sexually conservative". The last thing I wanted to do in any of this was to lead anyone on.  We all remember what those girls were called.
Maybe I share another trait with the teen girl. I still feel a romantic relationship is possible with EITHER gender.
So far however, the search has been more fun than the catch.

Did I see You On Springer?

Nikki Araguz, the transgender widow of the Texas firefighter could have possibly stepped onto the national stage years ago with a couple appearances on the "Jerry Springer Show?"

There was a Justin/Nikki on the show with a real female girlfriend not real enamored with Nikki's behavior in clubs and a guy not real enamored that he was fooled.
I'm not sure but there is a resemblance.Coincidence?

Want to be in Pictures???

Here is your chance. http://www.tranisa.com/ is in it's early stages of set up.  Tranisa is searching for models to shoot tastefully done features. If you think it's time to be discovered. You may want to visit the site!

Why Not?

Go back to being a guy if I don't want to be a girl 24/7?
Quite by accident I read the most appropriate reason not to on another blog.
Check the link to your right under "CD Janie's Blog".
By permission I'm going to pass along the highlights:
"With all the problems and conflict, both internal and external, you’d think that I’d just want to give the whole thing up and try for happiness the old-fashioned way. After all, I haven’t burned any bridges…
Turns out, I love Janie.
Turns out, some of that love I have always felt for women has always been a desire to feel what they feel!

It is one thing, as a man, to be attracted to women, to enjoy their way, to find them attractive and sexy – and I was, I did – but that was never all of it for me. I didn’t just want to be with someone who had the feminine characteristics I loved, I wanted to have those kinds of feminine traits myself."

WOW! I've never been good enough to explain to those who ask why?
Janie made it so easy!
Thanks

Do Blondes Have More Fun?

Can't answer that but can speculate they get more attention.
During the past week or so, I've done something I thought I would never do...go back to being a blond.
Why? I have been told I present better as a red head and I love the long wavy curls. I also have a dark (almost black) long a wavy look that I do well with too.

About a week ago I posted a few of the blond pics to my Flickr account http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=cyrsti&w=all. and received a lot of positive feedback. So on my next three trips out, blond it was!
As I've mentioned before, I rate my "presentation" level on a percentage on any given outing.
No matter how good the pictures say I look and how good the mirror says I look the blond doesn't present as well.
Last night, I think I figured it out.
Blond's necessarily don't have more fun...but they get more attention. If I'm a blond more people look so I get more of an opportunity  to not present.
God, I sound like a statistician or a scientist! Believe me I'm not.
The bottom line is that the fun and enjoyment of being my female self is change.
So, in at least the near future, this blond will have more fun!