Why Do You Fail?

In your relationships as a transgendered person?
I'm a member of a very active and well populated TG site and a female spouse (very rare to the site) observed  there seemed to be a large group of separated individuals.
Her statement was "she would not leave her spouse just because of an external body change and increased pitch in the voice." Here was my response which was triggered by a dinner I went to last night.
I am widowed. My wife and I had parameters set on my "hobby". She knew of my "pastime" before we got married and stay married for 25 years.
The problem we ran into was the "hobby and pastime" became a lifestyle. The more she gave the more I wanted.
We survived because I loved her dearly.
I believe you see so many TG separations because- number one the initial bond wasn't that strong or the dynamics changed. OR
Let me use the couple I met last night as an example.
They have been together for around 20 years. They had a fight two years ago which led to him burning all his clothes. Now he paints his fingernails red and wears a bra stuffed with socks and goes to Wal Mart. He is not an effeminate or young guy who might pass for an androgynous girl. Call me silly, put I don't see this relationship surviving?
Last night's example is not the norm with couples I have met over the years...but then again I haven't met many couples. (The cis-female view here and in my world is rare.)
The guys I interact with fall into 3 categories. 1.- "The wife" doesn't understand , flat out refuses to participate and the relationship is history. 2.-CD's in remission, they would prefer to live their fantasy through me or others like me...until the wife finds out. She will and he goes back to the closet...pulls out a dress and the relationship is history. 3.- Or ,when husband puts that dress on, he is sexually into guys. Enough said on that. Relationship is history.
In my experience, you are a rare lady! You must have an incredible relationship!
With the great majority of others-the whole process becomes so much more complex than changing the outside of the body and changing the voice.