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| Image from Priscilla du Preeze on UnSplash. |
Success is definitely no accident in the world of transgender women and transgender men. Very few of us survive our puberty by having no natural characteristics of our authentic selves that we want to be. I know I wanted nothing to do with the size and angles my male body was willing me to have without my permission.
It was not until I became very serious about my male to
female femininization project did, I take the necessary steps I needed to take to
begin to ensure my future successes were no accident. The first step I took was
to try to make myself smaller for I could fit into more stylish feminine
clothes. Naturally, all I could do to make me smaller was to go on a diet. I
was successful in a short period of time because I had a very active job and my
high male metabolism was still working well. I ended up losing nearly fifty pounds
quickly and had the fun job of going back to the thrift stores and searching
for new clothes in my size and trying them on.
The next step I took to improve my work to become more
feminine to the public was to take better care of my skin. Every day I was
careful to moisturize my face after I shaved to make it easier for me to use
less makeup because I knew less was more when it came to using makeup. It was a
start but was all I could do without the public and my wife beginning to notice
a major change in me. Even so, I was proud of the beginning steps I was taking
towards my overall femininization.
It proved to me that over the long haul, none of this path I
was on would be easy to navigate as I sought to cross the gender border. Also,
what I did not know was how much more difficult my life would be because just
looking like a ciswoman would not be the end result of the process. It would
just be the beginning when I left the mirror and challenged the world as a
novice cross-dresser or transgender woman. I never realized the depth and scope
of the world women use to run their lives. With or without the help of men.
By accepting the challenge of femineity I was seeking, I was
also challenged to move like a woman and more importantly communicate as a woman
because I discovered quickly how many other women wondered what I was doing in
their world. From the ease of dealing with clothing stores clerks to having
conversations with women at restaurant/bars I was at, I found I was dealing
with much more interaction than I ever had as a man. My new success was no
accident, but I needed to work hard to keep it and always stay aware of my new
surroundings. One slip up and the setback could be tremendous and discouraging
to my dream goal of being able to live full-time as a transfeminine person.
Many times, my frustration grew over the decades that I
struggled with my gender issues. Was I going too fast by going out into the
world, or not enough to keep learning what I needed to know to progress along
my gender path which kept showing me infuriating stop signs along the way. Particularly
from my male self who was becoming very successful in his business world. He
was making it difficult to choose between his growing male privileges and
living the life I had always dreamed of. Ironically, it was lessons he learned
at work which were carried over to my female life that proved that success was
no accident. If I wanted my goal bad enough, I could achieve it.
As I progressed with carving out my new feminine life as a trans
woman, I found that my successes were painting me into corners which were
difficult to get out of. I had nights when butch lesbians were flirting with me
and buying me drinks until I ran out of time and had to be back home before my
wife was take my makeup off then calmly try to wind down by watching television. I
was on the gender rollercoaster going from one high to another and eventually it
was too much to take.
Before I broke for the final time and had to make a decision
between staying with my wife as a man and deciding to live my life as a woman,
she took my decision away and suddenly passed away. Leaving me all alone with
my other woman who happened to be me. It took a while for the shock to wear off,
but when it did, my internal female took right over and claimed her territory
in my life. She thought success was no accident and she had claimed hers by paying
for those dues all those decades when she was hidden for the most part. In the
light of day, she flourished and never looked back. Especially when HRT or
gender affirming hormones were introduced into her old male system.
The ultimate measure of success is coming around and
transitioning ourselves from transgender into just being ourselves. Many of us
have to go through extensive gender realignment surgeries to do it, and some
not but that is OK. Whatever makes you whole as a person is the final key to
the lock or piece to the puzzle. I am sure that whatever the case, everyone who
succeeded in finding themselves would agree that success was no accident. They had
to work hard to achieve it.
If you are on your path, just keep up the hard work you are doing,
and you can find success also. Pursuing such a complex journey will never be
easy but as the saying goes, if it was easy, would it be worth it.
Thanks to all of you who read along with my posts! All your
thoughts, comments, claps and subscriptions are always welcomed.
