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| Image from Pepe Nero on UnSplash. |
On my way to achieving my version of transgender womanhood, I started my trans woman bucket list.
It all started on the fateful night when I decided to go out and mingle with a group of professional women as an equal. Not as a man cross dressed in their company to see if I could make it in their world. There was so much else at stake that evening because I knew if I was successful, I could never go back to just living my life as a man.
Once I was successful, I began to think of things I could accomplish as a trans woman to add to my bucket list. Once I was accepted as a regular in one venue, could I possibly add another to increase where I could go to add variety to my evenings. For the most part I was successful in being accepted. Even to the point of being thrust into a diverse small group of acquaintances I could regularly socialize with. The group included the sister of one of the bartenders, a lesbian, a couple men and an exotic dancer to name a few. All of this occurred before I met the transgender woman and two lesbians I socialized with on a regular basis.
Also on my bucket list at the time was how was I going to handle my sexuality with men. I almost found out when I became attracted to one of the men in the group. Or should I say he was becoming intrigued with me. All the way to him seeking me out on the nights when I was there all alone. I felt comfortable talking to him and even enjoyed his company before he switched jobs and abruptly moved away. It turned out there were very few men on my bucket list but even so, there were a couple which left a deep impression on me.
Both of the men were met through social media dating sites and happened after I sorted through an amazing amount of trash responses. Because I was careful to meet any responders in a setting I approved of, we met in my regular venues I felt safe in. Both treated me with respect and I leaned a little of how it would be to interact with an interested man as a woman as I was wined and dined. It was terrifying and exciting at the same time. I still remember both dates and how special I felt but on the other hand, I never really lost my attraction to women. As impossible at it seemed to me at the time, I was headed towards being a transgender lesbian...if I could be accepted.
I continued my quest for a new bucket list as I learned how to be a woman from other women. It seemed nightly I was learning new ideas such as I did not need a man to be validated in my new life. The lesbians I were around were both very strong and confident in their own right, so I could be also.
Then, there was my relationship with my wife Liz which has been going on for over thirteen years now. I never though I would find another person who would be serious enough about me to want to build a relationship at my age. But I did and amazingly, Liz found me on a dating site defying all odds.
Just when I thought I was done with my bucket, it became filled with happiness and I hope to keep it that way.
