A Trans Girl's Baggage

 

Image from UnSplash

Like many women, we trans girls carry a lot of baggage when we travel.

If you remember the old Paris Hilton commercials of her mass amount of luggage she brought along when she traveled, it reminded me of the size and number of bags we trans women have to have to transition from a male life to a feminine one. To the typical outsider, they think all we have to worry about bringing along is fashion and/or wardrobe necessities. When in truth, we know which wardrobe to bring is just the beginning. Examples are many and varied, often determined by when we decide to transition in our life cycle. Needless to say, an older transgender woman may have more aspects in her life to consider with family, friends, spouses and employment to think about.

In my case, I waited so long to enter trans womanhood, nearly everyone I cared about as far as family and friends went, passed away. I would not recommend it, but my method really simplified the process of telling my deepest darkest secret to others was made so much easier. In fact, I only had two family members to tell of my authentic life. My daughter and my brother which went half and half for me. My daughter remains a steadfast ally to this day while my brother and I have not talked in over a decade.

Thus far, we have only discussed the larger baggage items and not any of the smaller yet still important things we have to bring along with us as we enter a scary yet exciting new world. Such as, what would we do about the interests and hobbies we have built our male lives around. As far as I am concerned, what I always bring up is my lifetime love of sports. For years, I considered I would have to give up my interest in sports in order to transition. Because I knew so few women who were into sports.

Fortunately, the world around me began to change or I began to see more clearly what was really going in the world I was in. In other words, I began to see other women in the sports bars I was in as interested in the games as I was. It was around this time also when the National Football League began to market their product to women. It became stylish for me to wear my team's jersey into the sports bars I became a regular in. In addition, the other women I began to be friends with were sports fanatics.

All of this combined to make my path to my transgender womanhood so much easier. I can compare it to just having to bring a carry-on bag with me on a plane instead of a large piece of luggage. I was more secure and did not have to give up any of my interests I so enjoyed. 

Perhaps the only problem I had was when I talked to men. With them, I often had to dumb myself down when I talked about topics, I knew a lot about. One time, with a tow truck driver, I needed to finally act as if I knew nothing about the mechanics of the truck, we were in to satisfy his ego. It was my first interaction one on one with a man, so I was surprised how it went. Basically, I was forced to give in to him to just maintain civility on the short trip. The lesson I learned was one I kept with me every time I was with a man.

It turned out I had unpacked a whole new set of transgender baggage.