Running Around in the Bath?

Connie commented on my diet post yesterday which joked about having to run around in the shower just to get wet:

" Maybe you should run yourself a bath, instead? :-) Keep it up, girl! I've gotten down to just 5 pounds over my high school football weight of 167 (I drank so many milk shakes with raw eggs just to maintain that back then). I weigh myself once a week, mostly out of curiosity, but I've learned, as have you, that the scale is not the best way to keep track. I'm hoping to drop that 5 pounds in the next two weeks, as I am living the bachelorette life until my wife returns from her Mexican vacation (I like Mexico, but I'm not sure it would like me anymore)."

I agree about taking a Mexican vacation! My goal is to get down to my Basic Training (Army) weight of 180. But overall, I just want to try to have more energy and feel better.

Speaking or writing of a vacation, Facebook did me a favor (?) and sent me a photo of our summer trip out west to Colorado a couple years ago. On the way we stopped at an ancient train depot in Abilene, Kansas.  It was 99 degrees that day. FYI, I am a huge rail buff.

Running in the Shower?

 I used this pun on my therapist last week and I don't think she ever realized what I was trying to say. 

Old Pride Pub Crawl picture
from when I could drink.

She asked about how the new radical diet Liz and I started was going. I said so well, I had to run around in the shower to get wet.

Actually the diet is getting off to a rousing start. Or not. It's a no sugar or flour diet with tons of fruit and vegetables. Even though most of the food becomes rather boring early, I have lost some obvious weight already. One of the focuses is to not obsess on what the scale says so I have not weighed myself at all. 

Overall, writing about a diet is one of least likely topics I thought I would aver be writing about . During my life I have been relatively fortunate to be able to control my own weight. In fact, I lost nearly 40 pounds when I transitioned into a transgender world. 

This time it's different. I am doing the diet to support Liz. Her health and goals are so important to me.

Then again, what is more feminine than obsessing over a diet? 

Jealousy

 I could use the kinder and gentler "envious" word but I can't. Yesterday I was just jealous. 

It was grocery shopping day and Liz and I went out to battle the heat and stock up on all the fruits and vegetables we needed for our new diet. 

As we started our journey down the produce isle, I couldn't help but notice a woman in a short romper style print dress. I was entranced. The whole process took me back to all the old days of desiring so many cis women. Not sexually. I wanted to be them. To feel what they felt. 

As all the old feelings came flooding back to me, I told myself the usual. Even though I have achieved more than I ever thought I could in a transgender world, I will never in this lifetime achieve the body and look of the woman I was admiring. 

All too soon she went her separate way in the store, my dreams faded and the reality of the day set back in. 

That's all Good...But...

 Perhaps, by now you have heard the good news "Mj. Rodriquez" (left) transgender lead in the Pose television series was nominated for an Emmy. This of course is a first for a transgender actor or actress. 

However, the trans entertainment news is not all good. 

This is from EW.com:

"The LGBTQ media organization acknowledges the past year resulted in a unique situation for theatrical movies, but it still went ahead with its 2020 Studio Responsibility Index, their report card for sorts on how well Hollywood's major studios brought LGBTQ representation to the screen. GLAAD found that, out of the 44 films released by those entities, none of them included trans or non-binary characters.

In fact, this is the fourth year in a row where this has happened. By GLAAD's own estimates, that's zero trans characters out of almost 400 films since January 2017. The last time a transgender character was included in a major studio film — Disney, Warner Bros., Universal, Paramount, etc. — it was an "offensive caricature," as GLAAD dubbed it: Benedict Cumberbatch's All in 2016's Zoolander 2."

Thanks Bobbie for sending this along!

All the Detail

Facebook in all it's wisdom sent me this picture today from eleven years ago. 

This was taken during one of my very first trips to the women's room at a venue where I was able to "flip" myself. Meaning I started to go there as a guy with my deceased wife before she passed and after I started to go there as a novice transgender woman. 

What I notice also in this picture was my attention to detail. From my long wavy dark wig, to my jewelry, rings and sunglasses, I tried to cover all the feminine basics

The same is true when I go back and explore some of the earliest posts of the Cyrsti's Condo blog. I noticed I wrote much more about the effort I put into to looking the best feminine self I could do. As the years went on and I started to live fulltime in the feminine world the blog drifted towards more of a lifestyle effort.  

As I look back on those days so far ago, I do remember how terrified I was but on the other hand, how excited I felt. 

The end result of course was I finally figured out my male self had to go into the closet and I could start a life as my authentic self. 

 

Guilty Pleasure

 Every so often I overlook all the Hollywood glitz and glamour associated with many transgender models and celebrities and develop a secret crush. My latest trans crush is Trace Lysette:

 

A.J. Clementine

 AJ Clementine is an Australian model, social media influencer and activist.

In 2020, the young star collaborated with beauty brand Australis on an eyeshadow palette with colors that celebrate her trans experience. 

Turning Your Demons into Angels

 "Back in the day" when I was strongly considering making the big jump and starting to live as my authentic feminine transgender self, I considered the whole process as sliding down a slippery slope. One day, I would just go too far, make the leap and put my male self into the closet. The more I explored the world as a transgender woman, the more I wanted to. 

Looking back at the whole process now, I have a tendency to .look at it as an interaction between my personal angels and demons. I suppose it all goes back to when I was growing up and I considered my transgender leanings as being demons. 

Of course, finally all of the "demon" thoughts began to change. Rightfully so, my mean old male self became the demon to kept me out of the world for all those years. As my feminine self took over, she certainly wasn't an angel. She partied hard and for the most part had a good time. Perhaps she was making up for lost time. 

Each of us are individuals trying to make our own journeys as pleasant as possible. 

The quicker you are able to turn your male demons into female angels the better your life will be. Each of us has to seek out our own path to do it. 

Cyrsti's Condo Thought of the Day

 "We didn't have a choice to be transgender but we did have a choice to be survivors."

JJ Hart