Good News...Almost

This holiday season, for the first time ever, LGBTQ characters are beginning to show up in made for television movies on major networks such as the "Hallmark Channel." Overall, seven were mentioned in the post I read. The photo below comes from the "Christmas House." 

That's all well and good as the "G" is featured as a subplot in the show, the "T" in all the shows featured for their diversity, only one had a transgender character, Candis Cayne..  (below). It's called "I Hate New Years"

I suppose it is a start. Of more interest to the transgender community would be a story of how a trans character gathered her courage and came out to her family during a holiday family get together. My confession is I never had the courage to do it. When I told my brother and sister in law who inherited the annual dinner by default when my wife died about me being transgender, they basically told me not to come as my true self. That was it, I haven't seen them since. On the other hand, here is Connie's experience:

" It was a Thanksgiving Day, more than a few years ago, that I made my physical appearance as my true self to my family. My "secret" had long been let out by that time, but it was also past time that I should have normalized myself to those most dear to me. For myself, it had become abnormal to keep my female and male selves separate - because they had actually become melded into the person I am. As normal as I felt my womanhood was to me, it would never be normalized until it could be perceived as normal by others - especially by my family. While it is one of the regrets I have that I never made an attempt to normalize the relationship with my mother as her daughter, it was my desire to not have further regrets, after her death, that I felt the need to be completely open with the rest of my family."

Thanks for the comment! 

Maybe next year, The Hallmark Channel will feature a story like Connie and my story will be much different.  The "T" will be better represented in the LGBTQ community.

Thanksgiving

 In the United States at least it's time to formally begin the holiday season and celebrate Thanksgiving. In the pre-covid days it was a day to get together with family, over eat and watch sports.

In my pre-transition days, my deceased wife took great pride in inviting the whole family over and doing most of the cooking. Which meant to me a marathon cleaning effort to prepare for the big event. Even though I didn't really want to be too involved with the cooking, my experience in the restaurant business led me to being the one who carved the turkeys. Because we  needed more than one. So secretly I felt closer to the women who were clustered in the kitchen. Plus I admired what they were wearing of course. 

In my post transition, covid bubble days, my Thanksgiving family has shrunk to only three people in our bubble.  In the past we have been able to spend the holiday with my daughter's in laws and my grand-kids but not this year. It's too risky.

Every year at this time too, I think of all of those in the LGBTQ community whose families have deserted them. In fact, the "Gen Silent" documentary I just watched reminded me of the stark reality faced by many who grow old and alone. From out and proud to back in the closet. On the bright side (and there is one) more and more communities are organizing LGBTQ groups who are reaching out to those in need of attention. 

I myself am blessed with many things to be thankful for. Of course number one is the support group I have been able to build around me. The group includes my partner Liz, my daughter Andrea, my three grand kids and basically her entire family of in laws. Ironically, I am one of two transgender individuals in their extended family.

And, in a totally different direction, I am thankful for all of you who stop and visit Cyrsti's Condo. It means a lot...thank you!

Where ever you may be this year, have a safe Thanksgiving!

Transgender First in Mexico

 

Victoria Volkova is the First Trans Woman on 'Playboy Mexico’ Cover

When the Norm Becomes the Norm

 As transgender women and/or crossdressers, we spend much of our lives wondering how we ended up being a person who has such non normal urges. Or so we feel. I know I lived so many years wondering how I was the only one I knew who had the peculiar habit of wanting to cross dress in clothes of the opposite sex (women). Then, first I learned through magazines such as "Transvestia" which was started by "Virginia Prince" in the 1960's and later through the internet, I was far from being alone.

However, the feelings of normalcy persisted. I finally learned no one was truly "normal" and I learned to embrace my true self. Last night, during another virtual meeting of the transgender/cross dresser support group I am part of, I found out once again how normal I wasn't. Out of the ten or so attendees last night, I was the only one who made it to the point where I live full time as a transgender woman. Many of the others were really bemoaning the fact their weekend trips out as a cross dresser had been seriously curtailed, or stopped all together by the virus. I too, don't like it but the fact remains I know what gender I am when I wake up in the morning. 

To look at the process from a different angle, let's bring in Connie:

"I was reminded of Transgender Week of Awareness last Friday, when a local newscast mentioned it. At first, I thought it was funny to start a week on a Friday, but then I realized it is so that it would culminate on the third Friday of November - which is Transgender Day of Remembrance. I actually joked to my wife that it was a good thing for the news to remind me that I was trans, and needed to be made aware of it. Really, though, I don't think there are any activities in Seattle until tomorrow - TDOR. That will be virtual this year.

By the way, about that joke I made to my wife: She said that she doesn't think of me as trans very often, anymore. I guess that maybe one can be so aware that it just becomes the norm. As I like to say: When the extraordinary becomes ordinary, that is truly an extraordinary thing!"

Indeed Connie, it is an extraordinary thing. I'm sure the two of us are not the norm in finding spouses who accept us so totally. The norm becoming the norm is truly an extraordinary thing.

One of my Favorite Transitions

 Melonee Malone (no relation to Connie) has been one of my Facebook faves for sometime now. I simply marvel at her transition!

Another Transgender Pioneer Gone

 At my age, transgender pioneers mean a lot. After all, they had the courage to come out and live an authentic life during a period of time when it was exceedingly rare to do so. 

Jan Morris (below) was one of those people. 

Here is what "Wikipedia" wrote about her:

"Jan Morris CBE FRSL (born James Humphry Morris, 2 October 1926 – 20 November 2020) was a Welsh historian, author and travel writer. She was known particularly for the Pax Britannica trilogy (1968–1978), a history of the British Empire, and for portraits of cities, including Oxford, Venice, Trieste, Hong Kong, and New York City. She published under her birth name, James, until 1972, when she had gender reassignment surgery after transitioning from male to female.

As James Morris, she was a member of the 1953 British Mount Everest expedition, which made the first ascent of the mountain.^[3] She was the only journalist to accompany the expedition, climbing with the team to a camp at 22,000 feet on the mountain and famously having the successful ascent announced in The Times on 2 June 1953, the day of Queen Elizabeth II's coronation."

Inspiration

The Cyrsti's Condo quote of the day comes from Laleh Chini :

"Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw in later life what you have deposited along the way.”

A Message from the "Crazy Cat Lady"

 Recently I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the issue of men being afraid of women...trans or cis. And, received this comment from Michelle "The Crazy Cat Lady." 

"OH NO IT'S the crazy lady again...LOL!!!!

You posed a question about trans women holding a position of supervision in any industry. The process would be almost impossible. Not only, would we have to fight against the males who look down at us as trying to steal their positions in life but cis-women that are fighting to climb that proverbial ladder to success.

Let's get real, men are just scared little boys that want to control the playgrounds. They sit back on their collective butts and let others, mostly women, do the work. Women on the other hand are fighting to keep their foothold on that ladder and can be really mean fighters. I've learned first hand, just how catty and underhanded women can be.

We have to battle both sides, male and female, as well as (as you put it) the effects of testosterone poisoning, and for some of us, learning to cope with the effects of estrogen that all cis-women learn from birth to live with. Add on the effects of the religious right and the "Failed Steak Salesman's" administration. It's no wonder we have hot flashes, mood swings and fear getting into confrontations.

Yes, I heard that comment about not being able to bear children. I've heard it from both males and females. To the men I say "Men can't handle pregnancy and all that comes with it". And to the women, I would point out that our gender has that option. Many don't want or can medically have children. Some that go through pregnancy are finding that like some of their male counterpoints, don't want the children they bring into this world. One woman pointed out that she became pregnant because she thought it was expected of her as a female.

Yes, you are so right that we of the trans nature have to fight hard to win our rightful place in the world. And on that merry note, I'll retire to my couch, with a big cup of tea and snuggle up with my cats."

Thanks for the comment!

I live with a self described "cat whisperer" and my daughter has a "gaggle" of cats. Being a dog person most of my life, it's all still very new to have these spoiled cats hanging around :)

Getting back to the subject at hand, I don't believe we discussed the power of sexuality women have over men.

Naturally enough, a man's sex drive is basically a large part of his ego and a women's is tied to a deep desire to feel wanted. I know I am trying to over simplify a complex subject. What is not over simplified is women have to take on the responsibility of birthing and raising the children. 

Of course, since transgender women still are on the outside looking in as far as birthing children is concerned, couples are capable of adopting and trans men in relationships with trans women are having children too. 

When you look at all of this, it's no wonder men are afraid of losing the power systems they have maintained over the years. 

Big Sky

 This fall, most of the major network television shows have delayed filming schedules. One of the few who didn't was the "Big Sky" new release on ABC. Locally here it's on Tuesday nights. 

Of significance, the show features Jesse James Keitel (below),  who is making LGBTQ history as the first non binary regular actor in a lead role on prime-time television.

Previously, Keitel appeared in Alex Strangelove, Younger, and the Student Academy Award-winning film Miller & Son. Big Sky, created by David E. Kelley (Big Little Lies), centers on the hunt for an abductor of women in Montana. Jerrie, a transfeminine nonbinary artist and sex worker, is one of his targets.

Keitel, who uses they/them and she/her pronouns, said they hoped the story may “change some hearts and minds” among conservative viewers regarding nonbinary and transgender people. Television is “the most powerful medium we have right now,” Keitel said. “It’s accessible to so many people, people who normally wouldn’t get to experience a person like this.”