Therapist Revisited

Often, my therapist visits are mainly very vanilla in nature, with the occasional "aha" moment sneaking in.

We had one of those yesterday when I brought up the relative lack of response to me getting about half my hair cut off. I wondered why out loud and she brought up a couple points.

First and foremost, she said maybe it's because men normally don't mention, or notice things like hair on women. So, perhaps these cross dressers or transgender women haven't advanced that far into womanhood. I am sure you have noticed it is a far different world than the male one. When dealing with another woman, any sort of compliment is a nice way to open communication on a good level.

She also said, to be fair, many novice cross dressers and/or trans woman are still too wrapped up in how they look to notice others. Naturally they suffer from extreme insecurities.

One way or another, I left with a better understanding of the gender world.

Maxi Dress?

Connie wrote in to Cyrsti's Condo to comment on a recent blog post which included a picture of me in my new "maxi dress'" Included in the post was my reference to a self proclaimed cross dresser who made a point of saying all transgender women on hormones were "bitches." Even though, the comment could have included me (I have been on HRT for years), I kept my mouth shut and listened to all the petty gossip. I guess if you don't have anything good to say...go ahead and say it anyway!

At any rate, here is what Connie had to say:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJuly 8, 2018 at 3:02 PM

"Well, I'm not on HRT, but I can still be a bitch sometimes. Right now, though, I'm in a pretty good mood, and I just have to compliment you on your dress. You look great! There's nothing so cool(ing) to wear on a hot day or evening as a long, sleeveless dress or maxi. The air conditioning is built-in. :-) I've often wondered, when you've described your outfits for different summer occasions, why you weren't wearing a long dress, instead. Jeggings or leggings always sound so hot (or not so hot) a choice when the temperature gets high.

Having hung out, in the past, with a cross dresser group, I can attest to the bias many of them have on female presentation. I think it's because they relish the dichotomy of living two distinct lives, as far as their gender is concerned. Most of us have gone through the overcompensation at some point. For one to think there is no other way to be, though, and then to voice that opinion, is pretty much the definition of "bitch" in itself. On the other hand, I have also attended trans functions with mostly "HRT transitioners" who made me feel uncomfortable for being too "dressed up." I've even been told that I can't be truly transitioning just because I wear wigs - when, if I didn't wear them, I feel I would look pretty ridiculous with my male-pattern baldness showing itself! But, if someone else with the same condition didn't care how she looked, I surely wouldn't say anything about their presentation - although, I'd be thinking it. :-)"

Great point on the dress and thanks for the compliment! I truly didn't think it would look that good on me and yes it is much cooler and comfortable than the "jeggings." Since I wasn't wearing much of anything at all under it, I was able to feel all the sensuality of the dress.  All in all, I felt like I deserved the feelings because of all the work I have been through to get here.

If I can find another dress similar to it, I am sure I will wear one again! I just don't want to wear the same one for the same people.

Travel Days?

Well, today really isn't. Tonight is another support group meeting and.if I happen to get there in one piece without hitting a curb or worse, I won't be traveling far today. Before the last transgender - cross dresser meeting I went to. I was so busy trying to navigate a turn off a very busy street, I hit a curb so hard, I blew a tire. Which meant yet another get together with a tow truck driver. As it turned out again, my fears were unfounded, because he treated me with respect and got me on my way, without incident. Plus, there is some sort of poetic justice in just standing there and having a guy take care of things.

Tonight I plan on not hitting the curb and making my way into my fave coffee shop for some sort of cooling coffee blend. Not in my diet but tasty none the less!

Tomorrow is the real travel day. It's time again to make the three hour round trip to see my long time therapist up north at the Dayton, Ohio Veterans Administration campus. Hopefully, she will be glad to hear my referral for voice therapy has gone through for July 18th. Since she was instrumental in setting it up.

Plus I have sold an item in one of my Etsy shoppes, so it will take me an hour or two or so, to find a box and get the proper documentation together to get it shipped.

Should be a busy couple of days!

Out and About?

For some reason, Liz and I had Friday and Saturday night invitations this week.

Friday, we went to the usual karaoke we attend once a month. We even stayed way past our bedtime, all the way till midnight.

The longer we stayed, the worse the music got with people thinking they were drunk enough to sing. Fortunately for everyone, I was not among them.

Saturday, we finally collapsed to the pressure of a self professed proud NOT to be on hormones cross dresser who comes every time to karaoke. She always seems to be unnecessarily edgy and I always wondered why. It turns out she thinks all of us on HRT are just bitches. It could expelling why she/he is always nicer to Liz than I. However, I just don't play their little stupid high school girl games they play.

At any rate, she/he was always on our back to wear "something nice" to the restaurant we went to. So, I thought it was time to break out a first...a long flowing, slinky dress. I loved it! It was perfect for a nice summer Ohio evening.

Kind of hurt my feelings, she/he didn't even mention my dress or my new hair cut. But then again, I am one of those evil transgender bitches on hormones.

Better luck next time. 

Voice Police

Yesterday, the "voice police" called. Yes, I finally set up an appointment with the speech department at my veterans administration hospital.

After setting up the visit, I immediately thought, what did I just do? You see, my voice is very horse most of the time, so I hope there is nothing majorly wrong which would require surgery.

One way or another, it's time to hitch up my big girl panties on the 18th and get it looked at.

Of course my end game is having a more feminine voice and I am willing to put whatever work needed to insure it happens. My major issue now is keeping my voice in what I consider a feminine mode all the time.

I have set my first goal. It is to try to not get mis gendered on the phone.

It would be a huge success!

Where to go From Here

Independence Day has now come and gone, so now we have a fairly long stretch of summer coming up with very little happening. Plus, this run of brutal heat is continuing for at least another day before we have a respite this weekend.

Next week though, I have a transgender-crossdresser meeting on Monday, which should be fun because one of the trans moderators just got engaged this weekend. Then on Tuesday, I make the journey North to see my therapist at the Dayton, Ohio Veterans Administration campus. 

As far as summer fashion goes, I am pretty well set, so I should start looking ahead to the fall and it's new fashion trends. Perhaps I can find a deal or two on the racks where I shop.

Also, Liz and I want to take another "mini" vacation sometime in August. Most likely, back up to Columbus, Ohio. We might want to work it in before The Ohio State University gets back for it's fall session towards the end of the month. (August)

It's tough to wish time away at my age, so this time I will call it...advanced planning!

Fourth of July

I wish I could write a flowery post about what the Fourth of July, or Independence Day should mean to all of us Americans.

I am proud to have a distant relative who fought in the Revolutionary War. I often wonder what he would think of all the contortions our country is going through now.

Under the guise of "fake news" and a worn out amendment, special interests and crooked politicos have managed to take over our country. Over the years too, we have managed to neglect our educational institutions so much, it has "dumbed" down our country so far, that in breeding seems like a real possibility in some groups.

For some reason, I still know a few transgender people who support a president hell bent on taking away what rights they still have. Plus, just wait, as soon as the leader appoints another conservative to the Supreme Court, and LGBT rights come under fire, just wait and see how fast the gays and lesbians come looking for our trans support again.

I also don't know what to say about all the mass shootings which take place, almost all at the hands of white males. Even still, we blame immigrants for the violence. As we consider immigration too, who would have ever thought our country would be the one caging children. Just consider for a moment what the desperate people looking for asylum on our borders were running from.

It seems our country has taken it's lead from a leader who has no compassion or morals and is under indictment at the highest levels.

This Independence Day, it's time to seriously consider what we have to do to reclaim what made the US the country it was. And, not the one known for slavery and genocide of it's native citizens.

Party Number Two

We awoke fairly early to eat at the free hotel breakfast service before heading back to our room for a couple of hours before we set off in the 90 degree (F) heat. For once, the eggs weren't green and rubbery and the sausage was fresh...unless I was really hungry.

Departure time was twelve noon and we had about four and a half hours to kill before the evening picnic/party. First of all I decided to make the thirty mile round trip to Springfield to check on the property I still own. From there we headed back to the Dayton, Ohio area and had an early lunch at one of the first places I went as a cross dresser and was the place I decided I was transgender. It was there I decided to go on HRT and start my Mtf gender transition. I was wearing my "stars and stripes" top and was feeling pretty secure about myself following the real good day, the day before. Our server was busy, so she didn't seem to know or care about me one way or another. Except I was paying.

From there, we went to one of my least favorite places, a mall. This particular mall brought back quite a few bad memories from my cross dressing past and my back was starting to bother me. My partner Liz though was able to find some elaborate hair tie backs in a store which even had a transgender themed t-shirt. They also had a very androgynous employee who was very friendly. We wasted some time in the food court to let my back recover and it was time to head back out into the heat which was made worse by a passing thunderstorm.

The next stop was back into the cool of a big grocery store to pick up supplies for the party and then try to fix our makeup before we headed out.

Finally, we made it to the party and received a warm greeting from all who were there. It was raining again, so we had to hang out inside until it stopped. When it did, it turned out to be a pleasant evening.

I had a very good time and was only mis-gendered once.

From there, we made the hour and a half trip back to Cincinnati and the party weekend was over.

Party Number One

The first party we went to this weekend turned out to be a fantastic affair. We were able to get an early enough start to stop off at one of the "New Age" shops in Yellow Springs we like so much. Little did I know, it was also Pride Day in the village, so there were plenty of LGBT Pride flags to go around. Plus, while we were at the shop, we were able to drop off brochures for the Cincinnati Witches Ball in October.

I bought a pair of "peace symbol" earrings in the shop and had an affirming chat with her. No one else even gave me a glance except one woman who smiled. As we had discussed in depth here in Cyrsti's Condo, it is not unusual for women to smile at each other, so I don't know if the transgender dynamic had anything to do with it or not.

Saturday was one of those days when I felt very secure of myself, even with the temperatures hovering into the nineties. Confidence is always the best accessory!

From the village, we headed about ten miles up the road and checked into our hotel room, which had a great air conditioner. Party time was later in the day, so we had a chance to relax before we fixed up our make up and headed out. I wore the black and cream embroidered tank top I wore to Cincinnati Pride with a pair of Jeggings for comfort.

Seeing my old friends at the party was fun! We haven't seen each other for about three years. Everyone else in the group were very accepting too and no one mis gendered me. At least internally I was able to drop the transgender part of me and just be me.

All too quickly, they lit off their fireworks and it was time to make the journey back in town to our hotel room.

It was a remarkable day!