Karaoke Night

Tonight is the night I go and hear others sing. Some well...some not so well...me not at all. Hopefully tonight I will get a chance to wear one of my new tops which I have showed you examples of here in Cyrsti's Condo. I am going to try the top with either my light weight leggings, or distressed jeans. (To match a few of the singers.)

I am hoping to catch the gossip on why one of the group's members lost her job. It's intriguing because she was fairly confident she wouldn't. Of course losing a job for the most part is never good and Connie has another take on the matter:

 FABULOUSCONNIEDEEMay 31, 2018 at 1:58 PM

"Even if ones job may be protected, by law, as it relates to her or his trans status, an employer can find some other reason to terminate employment. It may not be that the employer is averse, personally, but there could be a feeling that a trans person may not be as productive (especially, if the job involves dealing with the public). If nothing else, an employer may just want to eliminate the potential drama in the workplace. There is a lot of difference between being accepted, even supported, in ones transition on a personal level and how others see it when profits are considered.

Personally, I would not want to work for someone who had doubts about my ability to perform at a high level. Transitioning is difficult enough without having to always be feeling scrutinized by the boss. Beyond that, being MtF myself, I can attest to the lowered expectations and pay that women experience.

I've heard from other trans people who advocate securing a job before transitioning. I'll agree to that only if one were going into that job before really knowing that she or he would be transitioning. The decision to transition begins with being honest with oneself and her/his own gender identity. The next step is to be honest with others. I would much rather go into something as my genuine self, and to be accepted or rejected based on that honesty. For me, it's "what you see is what you get." Not to say that makes it easier to find employment, however, but I can start - and proceed - entirely based on who I am - not what I may be perceived to be."

Ohio is in the  process of beginning to protect LGBT employment but like you said, there are so many "gray" areas to consider. 

Thanks for the comment. 

The Knife Behind the Back

A friend of mine from one of my cross dresser - transgender support groups recently got fired unexpectedly from her job. She started HRT approximately six months ago and did talk about the point of "no return" on her job, when she would have to come out as her true self. She was reasonably positive nothing would happen following a few preliminary discussions with fellow employees. I have not seen her yet, to hear her side of the story.

Speaking of losing one's livelihood because she came out as trans, check out this post from Buzz Feed News:

"When showrunner Scottie Madden first came out as a trans woman to an executive at Discovery Inc.’s Animal Planet in January 2015, she felt relieved. “If my top-level client is OK with this, then I'm going to be OK,” she’d told herself. Before transitioning, she had worked with the network to develop Dude, You’re Screwed, an adventure reality series that ended up airing on the company’s flagship network, Discovery Channel. As Madden recalls it, the executive had been “so blown away and happy and accepting.” From there, the showrunner proceeded to come out to all her colleagues in reality television. Their acceptance, Madden said, bordered “on the verge of surreal.”

But Madden’s optimism was misplaced. Now, more than three years after coming out, Madden says that neither Discovery, nor any other network or production company, has hired her to run another show.

“I never know if [an executive’s] not calling me back because I’m transgender, because she doesn’t have anything for me, or because she no longer works there — you never know,” Madden told BuzzFeed News, describing the often ambiguous nature of show business. “When you work for hire, you serve at the mercy of somebody's whim. The phrase you always hear is, ‘It just didn’t work out.’ And that covers all manners of things.” As showrunners, Madden explained, “Our clients are both the network and the production company.” As the linchpin between the two, they pitch ideas, help TV executives develop shows, and officially get the job when and if the show gets bought.

Onscreen transgender representation in Hollywood is severely lacking; the GLAAD Media Institute found that across broadcast, cable, and streaming television series that aired during the 2017–2018 season, only 17 regular and recurring characters were trans. The statistics aren’t any better for trans people behind the camera, with a few exceptions like Shadi Petosky, who created Amazon’s Danger & Eggs animated series after working for eight years as an animation supervisor on Nick Jr.’s Yo Gabba Gabba! Like most showrunners, Madden had worked steadily in television before running a show. But since she came out as transgender, Madden says the job offers have dried up. "

For more, go here. and always remember, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Vampires

I wish this was more of a glamorous post, complete with fun stories of enjoying the summer weather in lite and breezy summer clothes...but it is not. First of all, Monday night, I missed one of the monthly meetings of my cross dresser - transgender groups and then got gently chided about it on Facebook. Some of the other participants don't realize I have a life I guess.

Then Tuesday, was what I call "vampire day" at the VA hospital. I have a disease which causes my body to create too much iron and every three months (if needed) they have to take out a pint of my blood. (Phlebotomy)  Plus, I have to have my blood labs done.

While I have grown accustomed to the discomfort involved with both procedures, I have not gotten used to the circumstances which accompany the day.

For example, I have to take a short elevator ride up to the labs section of the hospital and more or less get to be stared at by a whole room of mostly grizzled older, men when I get off the elevator and go get my number to wait. I guess it's just part of being a woman but I still get a little paranoid about my presentation every time I go. I keep thinking, did I know I was signing up for this as I debarked down the transgender road.

If my iron is too high, then I get to go to hematology to see the real vampires. Seriously, my only problem is with one of the nurses who can't seem to get the "he" word out of her noggin when and if she deals with me. She is not very good and I hope I never get her but I do every now and then.

Past all of that, the day was very routine and hot! It looks like we missed Spring all together this year. Who knows though, maybe we will have some cool spots in June!

Memorial Day Weekend

If you are located in the United States, it is Memorial Day Weekend. Unfortunately, many of us just celebrate the time as the start of summer and/or a three day weekend.

The true meaning of the holiday is, as described by the Google Dictionary: "a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered, traditionally observed on May 30 but now officially observed on the last Monday in May.."

 I am sure many of you have a relation or two who gave the ultimate sacrifice for their country. 

It's time now to put down your grille tongs and/or adult beverage and remember those who couldn't make it to your party. Especially, the transgender ones. Just think how many served in silence!

Lost in Transition

The "TLC" Network has started it's "Lost in Transition" summer series. The show focuses on several couples going through a Mtf transgender transition. Before we get into my ideas concerning the series, I need to put in a disclaimer about any or all links I share. For example, if you are one of our international readers, I don't know if you can get an episode somewhere on line, or not.

Now, onto the show.

The first thing I noticed was none of the transgender women were a "natural" although "Leslie" was close and the others haven't really emerged yet in the show. Here is another link you can try, which describes the four couples.

One couple really got to me on an extreme personal level. Spoiler alert!

One of the wives (and her best friend) ganged up on one of the transgender women. The wife was struggling mightily with her spouse going through the transition. Her name as well as how she reacted took me back to the issues I experienced with my deceased wife. All of the sudden, I was back to feeling all the dread and confusion I felt during our relationship. My whole equilibrium was thrown off for almost the rest of the day.

My heart also went out to another of the couples who happened to live in a very rural area. The trans woman's spouse was pregnant with their second child. While the wife accepted her trans spouse, it has yet to be seen on the show if they can survive in a small conservative rural community.

My final recommendation on the show is, so far, it is not bad and even balances out accepting and un-accepting spouses. Which is reality in our world.

As I said, I have only seen one episode,so it will be interesting to see how the featured transgender lives play out. 

All Frills for the Weekend

Well, summer has arrived around here, complete with the heat and humidly.

For much of my life, I have envied the women around me who were able to pull out and wear their incredibly feminine and frilly summer fashions.

Even though, I have not yet reached my goal weight, I can comfortably wear the summer tops I purchased for this season. I just love a couple of the ones I have showed you all. My guilty pleasure with most of them comes when I don't have to wear a bra.

Now, here are my disclaimers:

My breasts just aren't that big to have to wear a hot close fitting bra.

I always try to remember at my age, my HRT can be given and/or taken away, so I try to savor the fashion moments given to me.

FYI, my tops are modest enough, not to show too much improper skin. 

At this point, I think I have enough tops and a couple pairs of fave distressed jeans to make it through the summer. I wish I could tell you I am going out quite a bit, my social life is just not that active! But I do see the same people quite a bit, so I do need different outfits.

Finally, on a different subject, I also have to still garner the courage to make a hair appointment to shape and thin out my hair.

Patriotic Summer?

I reached a milestone of sorts this morning and ordered a piece of clothing on line.

Always before, I either didn't have the money, was unsure of sizing or just wasn't positive of how it would look on me.

This top caught my eye because I am a transgender veteran and I thought it would be fun to wear around the Fourth of July holiday weekend among others. Such as a summer combined picnic several Cincinnati cross dresser - transgender groups are working to put together.

It came from a site called Modlily. Com.

One of the problems is how long I have to wait to get it. About two weeks. I am a very impatient person!

Damn I Look Good!

Connie sent in this comment which jogged my ancient memory about one of my cross dressing experiences:

"I let out a deep sigh today, watching an older guy drive by me in a Miata with the top down. I was waiting for a bus. I may be an older gal, but I think that car would look a lot better with me in the driver's seat - and I would still look cute in it, too. Who needs AC, anyway?!?"

Many years ago, in another life, I had a very well paying restaurant job. In fact, my monthly bonus check were enough for me to buy a brand new Porsche Boxster. Even though I knew I would be playing with fire driving it around in my favorite blond wig, I kept thinking you only live once.

One night, I took it to a little lesbian bar when I was cross dressed in my tight jeans and top. I had just settled into my first beer when another female patron walked in and loudly exclaimed  "Who is driving that car?"  I politely explained I was and of course she then asked for a ride. It was at this point the whole idea became a little dicey. Very simply put, my wig wasn't attached very tight to my head and I was driving with the top down. I had a very real nightmarish idea my wig could come of in front of a stranger and fly into the night.

To make a long story short, my wig stayed where it should have been and the ride was very successful. I was just fortunate no one else asked for a ride.

Sadly, several years later when I lost almost everything else in my life, I lost the car too.

Sephora

This post came from the "Gay Star Business" site:

"Beauty retail giant Sephora will offer specialized makeup classes to trans and non-binary people.

Called ‘Bold Beauty for the Transgender Community’, the classes begin next month as part of Sephora’s Classes for Confidence program. The program’s aim is ‘to help inspire fearlessness in those facing major life transitions’.

Sephora’s official Beauty Advisors with specialized knowledge about the trans community will run the classes. Trans employees at Sephora helped created the workshops’ content.

One of the people teaching the class is Dominique Anderson, a color consultant at Sephora in New York City.  Anderson said they want to help people find confidence.

‘There was a time that I felt as a trans person I had no idea where I fit into beauty,’ Anderson told Them.

‘It was when I began shopping at Sephora that I knew it was a place where I was free to be myself. Sephora welcomed me with open arms and it’s why I work at this company.

‘During these classes, I hope to teach clients tricks that I use myself to soften up features and achieve certain looks.

‘I want to instill confidence in my clients so that when they walk out of Sephora, they feel comfortable letting the world know who they are.’

The classes will run for 90 minutes and will create unique skin care plans and product recommendations for each person. During the classes, advisors will teach people make-up application and foundation matching.

People of all gender expressions, friends, families, and allies are welcome to attend.

Free make-up workshops.

‘We stand with all members of the LGBTQA community and are committed to providing these individuals with the tools they want to feel confident and beautiful every single day,’ Corrie Conrad, the Head of Social Impact and Sustainability for Sephora told Hello Giggles.

‘At Sephora, we believe beauty is yours to define, and ours to celebrate. We are honored to be a beacon of support and part of each beauty journey through our new class offering.’

The free classes will run at certain stores across the United States."