Breaking Necks?

I know in the public's eye, at the least I am a big woman. Transgender, cis, or whatever.

Plus I know I have privilege in the fact I am white and live in a fairly liberal part of Ohio. Also, my partner happens to be a cis woman and like it or not, she provides a sense of security. Every once in a while though, I do journey out of my comfort zone and check out reality.

Mine came this Saturday at Liz's karate tournament. The event is held in a Northern Kentucky middle school and approximately 500 people attend...including many kids. To put  it in perspective for you,  the school and the territory we were in was getting into the heavy red necked area of Kentucky. Out of the area just south of Cincinnati across the Ohio River is fairly liberal.

Once we got into te venue, my goal was to find a seat and try to make myself as small as possible. Initially I did fairly well. I was able to move about the venue with very little notice from the other participants. Not many people were turning to stare so fast I thought they were going to break their necks. My confidence was growing.

As we were leaving though, I experienced a dose of reality from ignorant bigots on their way into the venue.

A group of four cigarette puffing Kentucky rednecks walked right towards me. I had no where to go as they about stopped to snicker and stare.

I suppose the silver lining was I needed the reality of how the world can really be.  And, how fortunate I have it.

That Pesky Sunday

Before I know it, it's Sunday and another week has come...and gone.

It was very much an active week, as you may recall. It started Monday with a visit to one of my cross dresser - transgender support group's "beauty" meeting. It included visits from a skin, hair and make-up experts.  I especially liked the hair and make-up ladies. In fact. I have found the salon where the hair person works, so I can schedule and appointment. Plus, I am working to to get an individual appointment with the make-up person. I especially like her because she does not try to sell you anything, only recommends.

Monday was also travel day, when I went to my two therapists at the VA in Dayton. Ohio...a total mileage trip of approximately 250 miles. It turned out, all I really did with both appointments was answer a ton of questions about myself for a new VA computer program.  It will be interesting to see if I ever get any feedback in the future.

One day on the blog, we found ourselves in a mini alphabet quandary over the LGBTQ mythical umbrella and it's relation to cross dressers.  You can find it here.

The rest of the week was quiet in part because of not having a car to drive. Until Saturday, which was a whole other case.

Which I will discuss in a future post.

A First in Guam

From the Kuam News:

"Lasia Casil is ready to run. As Guam's first transgender candidate for public office, Lasia says she knows that the road to where she stands now hasn't always been easy to travel on.

 “I was met with discrimination, bullying, violence – for the person that I am, for identifying as transgender,” Casil said.

Casil says she has gotten used to dealing with it, but she's concerned that Guam's youth are more vulnerable – especially since many of them feel pressure to conform to society's so-called norms."

"If Casil has a familiar face, it's because she's made headlines for her work with Save Southern Guam – an environmental group calling for responsible development. She's also the founder of Guam Pride – an LGBTQ pride and rights group teaming up with GVB to tap into the region's billion-dollar LGBTQ tourism market.

As a Democrat, Casil hopes her platform of progressive values will help the party retain the Legislative majority.

“People want a change,” Casil said. “A real change. I'm here to work for the people, with the people. I've already been doing it – I've been very active in advocating for land rights, for LGBT rights and equality.”

“I advocate for women's rights, the #metoo movement – all these people, they're our resources here on our island – and they need to be protected."

For more, go here.

Wiggy?

Of course, the best way to ruin the wonderful outfit and make-up look you have carefully crafted, is by having a less than attractive wig.  Back in my wig days, I am sure I tried all the wrong wigs before I settled on a couple I wore quite a bit. The one I wore most was a long straight blond wig, which I actually have a couple pictures of to pass along.  (Circa early 2000's))

I am far from the expert to ask but I know I always washed my wigs in baby shampoo and was careful to make sure the caps were dry and they were properly brushed out before I wore them again.

Another friend who knows much more about wigs than I wrote in to pass along her ideas:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEMay 16, 2018 at 1:17 PM

I might add that, as far as wigs are concerned, a good, moderately-priced wig will last just as long as an expensive one if it is properly maintained. All synthetic wigs will wear out and start to frizz at the tips after some time. Just as the fibers in clothing break down, wig fibers will, too. Imagine how long a T shirt might last, if worn every day (I hope you'd have to only imagine that). A cheap one from Old Navy might not hold up well to the everyday wear and the washings it would require. A good shirt will fair much better, but not any better than a designer T shirt.

I have a wig on my head about twenty hours of every day. I usually wear a worn-out one to sleep in, as I am too vain to be seen with my naturally bald head. I am fairly active during the day, so I literally glue my wig to my bald head. I started doing that after an incident where a low tree branch grabbed the hair off my head while I was getting out of the car in front of a busy Starbucks. The glue residue takes about a week off of the life expectancy of my wigs, but it's a small price to pay for the security. Normally, a wig will last six weeks for me before it starts to frizz and lose it's soft texture. Of course, I would recommend having two of the same style, and to rotate them between washings. When I can afford to do so, I keep a third wig to wear for special occasions, and then put it into the daily rotation after about 10 wearings. I usually wash mine every 5-7 days of wear. Putting product into a wig will make it dirty faster, and perspiration is a texture killer.

The wig style I am wearing these days is $60.00 when on sale. Ten dollars a week is a bargain when compared to keeping ones real hair colored, cut and styled. I'd gladly pay more to have my own real hair, but it was not my fate (damn testosterone poisoning).

BTW, use Woolite to wash your wigs. It's much cheaper than wig shampoo.

Thanks Connie and if anyone else would like to share their wig story, please make sure you send it in!

I might mention I finally found the salon location of the woman I want to cut my hair and she donates twenty percent back to a prominent transgender organization here in Cincinnati.  Now I have to get up the courage to go and do it. Back in my wig days, I also lost my wig to one of those pesky tree branches. Didn't do much for my confidence!

Damn! That's a Lot of LGBTQ!

I must admit, I saw another short post I wanted to comment on. It comes from Terri Lee Ryan (Shades of Gender) on cross dressers and their chances of being added to the "Q" of LGBTQ.  "Q" by the way, stands for "questioning."

I for one, think cross dressers should include themselves within the "Q." Why not? I agree with Terri Lee, there have to be more cross dressers out there struggling with their gender identity than trans people.

After all, unless your crystal ball is better than mine, it doesn't stay real clear  Who can really tell what tomorrow is going to bring anyhow? Someday you may wake up and think it's time to fully transition into the transgender world.

Which leads me to one of my favorite soapbox speeches: we all should attempt to vote for pro transgender or LGBTQ candidates. Why? What if you decide years from now you are transgender and need better laws to protect your rights? Those pesky non discrimination laws could come in quite handy for you if your job is at stake! Or if you want to enlist in the military or even have health insurance.

For many, many years, I considered myself a cross dresser before the "Q" category was added to the LGBT. As I was searching as hard as I could for solutions to my gender issues. When I started "HRT", I finally thought I had joined the "T.s"

It's just too bad the "Q's" can't be more visible and no, I don't have anymore letters to add to this post!

Hair and Make-Up Visit?

Finishing off Monday's fun and games was the nightly meeting of  the cross dresser - transgender support group get together I go to. I made it fashionably late in time to hear a skin expert speak and later a hair person, followed by a make up expert.

I found I do about half of a required skin care regimen required to help my skin. I am always careful to cleanse at night and apply a moisturizer. As of yet, I have not yet delved into the scary/wonderful world of items such as serums.

In the "should have - could have" department, I should have taken less time watching the make up person perform her miracles on the two youngest attendee's and sat down with the hair person. In fact, she asked me why I didn't. The reason I didn't do it was, I was ashamed of the way my hair looked after a day in the car. I didn't even have a chance to brush it out. I was shocked when she asked me why I didn't do it!

As far as writing about hair or make-up, it was evident to me, both are too personalized to make many generalizations. An exemption was the ideas the hair person passed along about the care and maintenance of synthetic hair wigs. How often should you wash them, etc. Plus, how you should never try to color a synthetic wig or use any heat over 325 degrees (F) to style it. A washing regimen of course is based largely on how oily your original hair is and how long and often you wear the wig. So, even the care of wigs is highly personal.

As I understand it, both women are going to try and return for another meeting and perhaps even set up individual appointments. I already told the make-up person I would be interested and definitively the hair person too.

My statements to both will be, since I have been living in a feminine world for so long now, I need to learn how to do it easier and better.

Such a Monday!

Yesterday was one of those days when all I seemingly did was run all out in a hurry to wait. One of our cars is being repaired and I had to take Liz to work and pick her up. Which added extra stress driving in the Cincinnati rush hour traffic, the worst in Ohio. Not to worry right? The other car would be ready by the evening but, of course it wasn't.

In the meantime, my day was filled with driving the 300 mile round trip to Dayton and Springfield for my VA appointments. On a very hot/humid day in an non air conditioned car. I did of course have my "2-70" air to relay on. Roll two windows down and drive 70 miles per hour. Not good for my mane of hair which I forgot to bring anything to tie it back with.

Once I got there, not to be outdone by the rest of the days hassles, both of my sessions ended up answering a full appointment's worth of time  answering computer questions about myself. Including fun questions about suicide and depression. Not to be totally squeezed out from my appointment time though, I made it a point to tell my therapist about her supposed ability to put in a voice referral for me and I told her about the VA's ability to provide a wig and breast forms to veterans. When you think about it, it is not so strange with the increasing role the Veteran's Administration is taking with women veterans health care.

All to soon, both of my sessions were over and I was back on the road again to Cincinnati, with plenty of time to think of all my answers I gave the computer. I wondered though since I answered truthfully about my suicide attempts and the amount of low level depression I normally fight all the time, will the powers to be want to see me more.

I have fought hard to balance my demons and am not looking for extra guidance at this time. After all, balancing being bi-polar and transgender at the same time has never been a field day. I find it interesting when someone says as soon as they came out, the depression went away. It sure didn't work that way for me.

There was still more to yesterday I will pass along in another post!

Happy Mother's Day!

Just a simple post today. I am wishing all of you the best. Hoping you and your Mom have found some common ground...if she is around to still do it!

Other than that, I for one,  don't believe in picking up the "Mom" tag. I have stuck with the "parent" tag between my daughter and I. It has seemed to have worked well.

No matter the labels you attach to the day, I hope you have a good one!

Here Comes Summer?

All of the sudden, a very brief spring has turned into summer. Temperatures have soured into the mid to upper eighties and the dreaded humidity has started to rise too. I am back to my love/hate relationship with all this hair I have. I will have to start pulling it back more in the hot weather. This weather also is when I have to start to consider what kind of foundation I am using and the amount. I am lucky, HRT has softened my skin and I am careful to take pretty good care of it. So when I "melt", it hopefully won't be so noticeable.

All of this could change though, after Monday night. The day is shaping up to be quite busy with an appointment with my therapist early in the day and a special meetup group Monday night. The support group will welcome in three different "help" experts. One for hair, one for make-up and one for both. Instructions have been very vague, ranging from "models needed" to group instruction.

I'm selfish. I would love to score some individual attention. Eyes, foundation and contouring all the three things I need more expertise on. Overall, I feel like I am in a rut...HELP!

Just in case, I'm loading down my purse with a couple of the make-up items I am guilty of using all the time. Plus, I will be adding in the make-up skin wipes I use every night to remove my make-up. Hopefully, with all of that, I can cover all the bases.

Including my hair!