Pass the LGBT Tissues?

This will be a two part post. The first part comes from Connie's comment about my "hormonal" weepy post yesterday. The second comes from a post I read from Stana on Femulate.

Connie wrote:


"Excuse me, but would that not be "the The Ohio State University Band?" I hope I didn't make you cry with that. ;-)

I'm not sure if my weepiness is due to the fact that I was always prone to be, but no longer feel the need to hold it back, or because I'm at an age where I find nostalgia in so many things. Probably both.

A lady should always carry tissues - for weeping and many other things. I remember once when my grandson had chocolate stuck on his face. I had to resist the temptation to lick my thumb in order to clean it off, opting for the tissue instead. And now, with that memory, I can feel my eyes starting to well up. Yes, such is life!"

Yes, the Ohio State Band makes me weepy because of all the great memories it brings back from my life. Although I can see how I left myself open for your comment :). Actually, around here it's known as "The Best Damn Band in the Land" and it's harder to make it into the band than onto the football team.

Finally, it's interesting I don't carry a tampon in my purse anymore (in lieu of tissues), for those emergency friend requests in Women's rooms. They all think I am too old I guess. :)

Stana's post had to do with we transgender women and/or crossdressers getting started on our feminine paths because we formed the desire to create our own girlfriend. Although I have spent a considerable time wondering about the exact same thing and I was intensely shy around girls, I think, for whatever reason, I was predestined to gender transition into the trans woman I am now from puberty on. 

Plus, even though I went on to date quite a few girls/women, I couldn't shake the feeling I wanted to be them more than with them, and like so many of you , I followed the same path of stair-steps to get to where I am now.

At any rate, Stana writes an interesting post which you can read by following the link above.  

Damn Hormones

Must be my estrogen has been out of whack for the last month or so. Even with the excitement of a LGBT transgender Halloween, I have been uncontrollably weepy on occasion.

Most of the time, I find myself in the uniquely feminine position of crying out of happiness or because of becoming overly sympathetic. Examples are I cried during the fireworks last week when Liz and I went to a Cancer (Leukemia) Society Walk and when and if I get to see the Ohio State Band enter the field, I cry too.

Maybe I am just becoming over sentimental in my old age, because I have not experienced the overall melancholy I experienced when I first started HRT (hormone replacement therapy.)

Whatever the case, I have accepted being "weepy" has being just another part of my journey and always make sure I have an extra tissue or two in my purse!

Such is life.

Boys Will be Girls

In what will probably be my last Witches's Ball post, I remembered I promised to tell all of you if I saw any/many cross dressers and/or beginning transgender women at the ball.

The answer is just a couple over the course of the evening out of an estimated 150 attendees.

As you can see to the left, I was afforded a great seat to sit and "people" watch.

Both of the other cross dressers were very young and thin and one was dressed as a skeletal witch and the other just as a girl. One looked like she was wearing her own hair and the other had a cheap Halloween store blond knock off.

Liz had a chance to make eye contact with the second who was there with a group of girls and received a shy smile in return.

I couldn't make eye contact with either which was different because of all the other eye contact I made.

Maybe next year they will be back!

Remember When?

One of the most remarkable moments during the "Witches Ball" on Saturday, came with  remembering back to all the Halloween parties which played such an integral part in me beginning to find my way in the world as a transgender woman.

Back in those days, my goal was to (of course) do my best to transform from a guy into the most attractive or bizarre woman I could. These days I am taking a much shorter route from trans woman to woman.

It's difficult to believe how far I have been able to come in my journey and still have so much fun.

I was able to use the rest room as much as I wanted without incident and was even able to enjoy a couple of beers before we cleaned up and headed home after three in the morning.

To be able to walk through the crowd and feel all the eyes on me was a rush too. I guess I am just an incurable narcissist after all. I just loved all of the attention and I remembered to ask Liz to take a couple of pictures to illustrate my point.

Rarely (never) do I like my pictures but I had a fun time with these.

As I did with the evening. Long live Halloween! :)

Perception and Reality Intersected

Well, the 15th Annual Cincinnati Witches Ball has come and gone, and of course it was a transgender woman's right to change her mind about a costume.

Actually, I couldn't quite find what I wore last year, so I hurriedly threw together a costume that came a little closer to fitting the night's theme.

I found a sparkly sleeveless top (red) and paired it with my black wide gaucho pants and flats for comfort and topped it all off with a funky large fedora.

For makeup, I used a light foundation, smokey eyes and dark red lipstick. I even did a fairly good job of painting my own nails a variation of red.

The most interesting story of the night came early as I was helping dole out the appetizers and one of the young bartenders who I did not know came through to help distribute them throughout the venue.

He said, "I thought you were a real woman." I said thanks and I am...a transgender woman. He just said "Oh." and went on about his business.

I thought I was going to be in for a real interesting evening if it was starting like this. However, it calmed down quite a bit.

Of course, I got quite a few looks and was spoken to many times but the fun of the evening came from the ones who really didn't know what gender I was.

Plus I spent quite a bit of time chatting with a couple old acquaintances I hadn't seen for awhile.

I will have a couple more posts about the event plus I do have a couple more pictures to pass along (no pun intended) too. So stick around Cyrsti's Condo.

The Bitch (Witch) is Back!

After much consternation over the "gangster moll" costume not fitting well, I decided to save Liz the time to make it over and will come to the "Cincinnati Witches Ball" as ...a witch.

Witches Ball Costume...Five years ago

I use a long flowing black and white patterned dress with fish nets and flats and use a much lighter foundation to set off my "smoky eyes." If I can find a funky witches hat to go with it, I am going to add it this year too.

Last year, I did garner the attention of an "admirer" so it will be interesting to see if I do again this year.

It's a fun free wheeling costume to wear, so I'm looking forward to "gliding" through the evening. I suppose I could pick up a witches broom to go with the costume, but it would be something else I would have to keep track of and put out extra expense.

With a little luck I may be able to come up with a picture!

It will be interesting if I see any other cross dresser - transgender women there.

In Sync

Sometimes I'm a little slower than the average bear. This morning when I woke up, I had to brush my hair out of my face immediately and thought what a pain!

Then I thought back to the days when I woke up continually to the pain of "gender dysphoria." Which I can only describe as a tearing deep down inside. How was I going to make it through another day acting like a person I never was. It was ugly.

Now though, I am able to get immediate feedback on who I am, thanks in a large part to HRT and how I am able to live as a transgender woman. I can only describe it as a feeling like no other I have ever experienced.

So I don't know if the wait was worth it, but being "in-sync" with myself makes like so much easier and brushing my hair out was all right too!

The Wizard Was Kind

I had quite the day yesterday during the two transgender support group meetings I went to.

The first one at the Dayton, Ohio VA Hospital was a bit more boring since the on again/off again SRS trans woman didn't attend. She always aggravates me when she uses terms such as "transgendered" and "transgenders" when referring to others in the LGBT trans tribe. So overall, I found "boring" to be more pleasant. My lesbian friend was there to make up for the loss.

The second meeting was attended by a nice mix of trans women and transgender men with a wide variety of ages. I always an inspired somehow by being around transgender youth and feeling their energy. Being a new attendee, I was told I had to give my life story. A mistake to be sure. If I didn't give the abbreviated version, we would still be there :).

The whole day was good since I was going to accepting places and feeling good about the way I looked. I went with my gray boots, black leggings and a hip hugging gray sweater. Some days I feel I get my makeup right for the occasion and sometimes I don't. Yesterday, I felt I did.

So even though the second meeting is tough for me to get to (and back) I am going to try to get to it again. As the elder (?) in the group, I think sometimes my input means something. I told all of them how proud I was of their efforts in coming out.

The Wizard was good to me.

Off to See The Wizard

Today I have two transgender support groups to go to. Both are in Dayton, Ohio, about an hour and a half drive one way. So, it's not like I can stop somewhere and make any major outfit changes.

Since I have seen an increasing amount of women wearing boots, I am thinking about pulling out and dusting off mine from last winter and trying on some leggings. My problem is I could be walking some distances and I may have to break the boots in again. I still have an hour or so to check out leggings, jeans etc.

The first group today is the one I write about all the time at the Dayton Veterans Hospital. One of the attendees goes to the second meetup which I have never been to, but have been invited. If I tag along with her, at least I will know where I am going.

Whatever the case, I will have the chance to meet some new friends and set my network up for success. The second group does diversity days regularly at the VA hospital.

Now I just have to find something appropriate to wear. I want something with a little edge which is comfortable too!

It will be interesting to see how many transgender women and men versus cross dressers are attending the second meeting.  It is held above one of Dayton's biggest LGBT venues, so anything is possible,