This week will be a little busy.
Tonight is another Crossport transgender - crossdresser support meeting. Even though not many attend, there is normally interesting conversation from individuals ranging from totally in the closet to those who have gone all the way through SRS. It's starting to get a bit cooler now, so I expect more attendees.
Wednesday is another fun filled day with my therapist and final trip to the attorney to fill out my probate paperwork.
Again, it is supposed to be cooler on Wednesday so I am thinking about leggings and boots for the day.
Other than that, we are moving closer and closer to the magik bewitching hour of Halloween. At it's best, a chance for those cross dressers and trans women still in the closet to burst out and strut their feminine selves or, at the least a chance for all of us to join cis women everywhere and wear something a little trashy.
A chance for you to add to your favorite LGBT Halloween story!
Monday, October 9, 2017
Sunday, October 8, 2017
I Wont Back Down
For those of you who caught Saturday Night Live's opening last night, you would have heard Jason Aldeans' cover of Tom Petty's song, "I Won't Back Down". As you most likely remember, Aldean was on the stage during the Las Vegas terrorist attack. It was a moving experience as once again, SNL didn't miss a beat with one of their better shows.
However, some of transgender women and trans men put our own spin to Petty's song, as we can never back down!
Recently, I received several comments on the subject and on our shrinking protections thanks to the current administration.
First from Connie: "...no longer enjoy such protections" is a loaded statement. At least I never really found an opportunity to "enjoy" much, if anything, in the way of protection when it was (presumably) there for me. There's nothing enjoyable about being turned down for a job with a made-up reason, so as to cover up the employer's own prejudice. In fact, it hurts. One gets over it by taking solace in the avoidance of working for someone who would only be tolerable, at best. Protection by law does not guarantee employment, and could even be a deterrent to it. I can understand an employer's hesitancy to become subjected to possible law suits, if not just the drama, that could come with a trans employee - even if they had no personal objection to that employee's gender identity and/or expression.
The greater harm that is caused by Sessions' removal of transgender protections in the workplace (and anywhere else he thinks he can get away with) is the general mood it creates. This administration perpetuates hate-mongering, and trans people seem to be a favorite target for them. At least, the prior protections allowed for some social acceptance of trans people to expand. Retracting any protections is like giving permission for the expression of hate.
We are all supposed to have a larger protection - a protection to pursue our own happiness. Why some people think that being hateful leads to happiness is beyond me."
However, some of transgender women and trans men put our own spin to Petty's song, as we can never back down!
Recently, I received several comments on the subject and on our shrinking protections thanks to the current administration.
First from Connie: "...no longer enjoy such protections" is a loaded statement. At least I never really found an opportunity to "enjoy" much, if anything, in the way of protection when it was (presumably) there for me. There's nothing enjoyable about being turned down for a job with a made-up reason, so as to cover up the employer's own prejudice. In fact, it hurts. One gets over it by taking solace in the avoidance of working for someone who would only be tolerable, at best. Protection by law does not guarantee employment, and could even be a deterrent to it. I can understand an employer's hesitancy to become subjected to possible law suits, if not just the drama, that could come with a trans employee - even if they had no personal objection to that employee's gender identity and/or expression.
The greater harm that is caused by Sessions' removal of transgender protections in the workplace (and anywhere else he thinks he can get away with) is the general mood it creates. This administration perpetuates hate-mongering, and trans people seem to be a favorite target for them. At least, the prior protections allowed for some social acceptance of trans people to expand. Retracting any protections is like giving permission for the expression of hate.
We are all supposed to have a larger protection - a protection to pursue our own happiness. Why some people think that being hateful leads to happiness is beyond me."
And from Stana about Petty himself and one of his videos:
Some say that the woman in his video for "You Don't Know How It Feels" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TlBTPITo1I) is a transwoman. I was never able to confirm it."
And yes, that was Stana from Femulate :)
Thanks, Ladies!
Friday, October 6, 2017
Second Class Citizens Again
In a not so surprising move, the "evil elf from the South-Jeff Sessions" took away the transgender protections from The Department of Justice who will no longer argue that workplace protections on the basis of sex protect transgender people from discrimination. That’s according to a new memo from Attorney General Jeff Sessions obtained by BuzzFeed Thursday.
The new policy reverses a policy put in place in 2014 by then-Attorney General Eric Holder. The fundamental question is whether denying someone employment based on their gender identity (i.e. being transgender) constitutes discrimination on the basis of that person’s “sex,” as protected under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. Holder held that trans people fall under that category, but Sessions has now reversed that and declared they no longer enjoy such protections.
Can't say I didn't see it coming when the new administration was elected. It is so sad and tragic to live in such a violence ridden country where I am a second class LGBT citizen!
Just think ahead all of you who are still in the closet. If/when you decide to come out, your legal protections are disappearing. Be careful of your vote!
The new policy reverses a policy put in place in 2014 by then-Attorney General Eric Holder. The fundamental question is whether denying someone employment based on their gender identity (i.e. being transgender) constitutes discrimination on the basis of that person’s “sex,” as protected under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. Holder held that trans people fall under that category, but Sessions has now reversed that and declared they no longer enjoy such protections.
Can't say I didn't see it coming when the new administration was elected. It is so sad and tragic to live in such a violence ridden country where I am a second class LGBT citizen!
Just think ahead all of you who are still in the closet. If/when you decide to come out, your legal protections are disappearing. Be careful of your vote!
Thursday, October 5, 2017
Tom Petty
Sort of lost in the Las Vegas terrorist tragedy was the untimely passing of musician Tom Petty.
Perhaps a little known fact about him was his support of the LGBT
transgender community.
In fact, in his later shows he included a picture of the late Alexis Arquette. (left)
Although Tom Petty's music will be sorely missed by many of us, his legacy will live on.
Another R.I.P! All too soon.
Perhaps a little known fact about him was his support of the LGBT
In fact, in his later shows he included a picture of the late Alexis Arquette. (left)
Although Tom Petty's music will be sorely missed by many of us, his legacy will live on.
Another R.I.P! All too soon.
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Better Late Than Never...A Transgender Life
this comment comes from Connie, and reveals her struggles transitioning into her trans life today:
"Yes, opportunity is maybe the thing that makes transitioning a possibility. For those of us who are transitioning now in our 60's, there was very little in the way of opportunity when we first struggled with our gender identities. If I had an oldest known picture of myself, it would be from a Polaroid camera, and I think still in black and white, as the color cameras had not been invented yet (getting a roll of film developed through the local drug store was NOT an option, for fear of outing myself). It never occurred to me to take my own pic as a child, though, because I was always very careful not to leave any evidence of my cross dressing "opportunities." Those are not the opportunities we're talking about, however. The opportunities we need to consider are, more precisely, found in the available options. There were few, if any, available to us 50 -60 years ago.
I've never subscribed to the saying: "a woman trapped in a man's body." The trap, for me, had always been the lack of available options - no exit door from my closet, so to speak. So, I must say that it was much harder to live with that than the transition process has been. I had become more than entrenched; I had dug a very deep hole for myself.
I would not recommend waiting for nature to reduce testosterone levels. I don't know if my "softer features" are the result of that, or just that I have a fat face. :-) I only know that I would have been better off had I had much less of it (testosterone) in the first place. I'd be much better off without much of the fat now, but I'm hoping to become the white Queen Latifa these days, anyway. ;-)
I remember when my own kids paid me almost no attention, but that had nothing to do with my gender identity back then. :-)"
I remember the embarrassment of outing myself unknowingly to a guy I knew at a drugstore once when I took a chance and had a roll of film developed! Plus, like you, I too have never accepted the "trapped woman" theory of why I was a cross dresser or later, transgender.
Thanks (as always) for the input, Connie.
"Yes, opportunity is maybe the thing that makes transitioning a possibility. For those of us who are transitioning now in our 60's, there was very little in the way of opportunity when we first struggled with our gender identities. If I had an oldest known picture of myself, it would be from a Polaroid camera, and I think still in black and white, as the color cameras had not been invented yet (getting a roll of film developed through the local drug store was NOT an option, for fear of outing myself). It never occurred to me to take my own pic as a child, though, because I was always very careful not to leave any evidence of my cross dressing "opportunities." Those are not the opportunities we're talking about, however. The opportunities we need to consider are, more precisely, found in the available options. There were few, if any, available to us 50 -60 years ago.
I've never subscribed to the saying: "a woman trapped in a man's body." The trap, for me, had always been the lack of available options - no exit door from my closet, so to speak. So, I must say that it was much harder to live with that than the transition process has been. I had become more than entrenched; I had dug a very deep hole for myself.
I would not recommend waiting for nature to reduce testosterone levels. I don't know if my "softer features" are the result of that, or just that I have a fat face. :-) I only know that I would have been better off had I had much less of it (testosterone) in the first place. I'd be much better off without much of the fat now, but I'm hoping to become the white Queen Latifa these days, anyway. ;-)
I remember when my own kids paid me almost no attention, but that had nothing to do with my gender identity back then. :-)"
I remember the embarrassment of outing myself unknowingly to a guy I knew at a drugstore once when I took a chance and had a roll of film developed! Plus, like you, I too have never accepted the "trapped woman" theory of why I was a cross dresser or later, transgender.
Thanks (as always) for the input, Connie.
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
R.I.P Hef
How many cross dressers and/or transgender women have dreamed of donning the Playboy Bunny ears and fuzzy tails? How many of us have gone to Halloween parties dressed as a Bunny? More than a few, I am sure.
On the passing of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, it is only fitting to remember the one transgender Playboy model and former "Bond" 007 girl Caroline Cossey:
It's also fitting to note (as Coffey) recently did, that Hefner didn't have to feature her and "did an incredible job for those times."
Playboy was threatened with losing millions in advertising revenue if they went ahead with featuring Cossey but in the end refused to cave in to the pressure and ran the issue anyway!
A true LGBT pioneer...in the flesh.
On the passing of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, it is only fitting to remember the one transgender Playboy model and former "Bond" 007 girl Caroline Cossey:
Playboy was threatened with losing millions in advertising revenue if they went ahead with featuring Cossey but in the end refused to cave in to the pressure and ran the issue anyway!
A true LGBT pioneer...in the flesh.
Monday, October 2, 2017
Transitioning Later in Life
Before we get started on this Cyrsti's Condo post, let me take a second to send my condolences to the victims, families and friends of those affected by the Las Vegas shooting attack by yet another white home grown terrorist. So sad...and tragic...
Joanna sent in a comment on those of us who have/or are thinking of gender transitioning from Mtf later in life. I paraphrase, but she said maybe it is easier.
Before you attack me, I know completing a transgender transition is never easy, and so many of us wish we had done it earlier in life.
Plus, with each successive year, testosterone ravages our male bodies even more. However, the binary genders tend to merge back towards each other as testosterone decreases naturally in the male. Facial features especially have a tendency to soften over time.
So I don't know. I suppose it's a transition game of opportunity. Or, who can make the best of a bad situation they are in. No matter where you fall in the age spectrum losing a family is a very real possibility. The older you are though, the more entrenched you become with family and very important needed material things like housing and work.
Finally, let's not forget the influence from the overall world around us. I know in my case, for a fact, kids these days pay me almost no attention. And of course, the internet has turned out to be the great equalizer as far as disseminating knowledge/information to the transgender, LGBT, community has gone.
No one (obviously) can really say if transitioning is better - or worse. It depends upon each individual and the situation they are in. So often in our trans tribe, we are so close yet so far apart!
 |
| Oldest known picture! |
Before you attack me, I know completing a transgender transition is never easy, and so many of us wish we had done it earlier in life.
Plus, with each successive year, testosterone ravages our male bodies even more. However, the binary genders tend to merge back towards each other as testosterone decreases naturally in the male. Facial features especially have a tendency to soften over time.
So I don't know. I suppose it's a transition game of opportunity. Or, who can make the best of a bad situation they are in. No matter where you fall in the age spectrum losing a family is a very real possibility. The older you are though, the more entrenched you become with family and very important needed material things like housing and work.
Finally, let's not forget the influence from the overall world around us. I know in my case, for a fact, kids these days pay me almost no attention. And of course, the internet has turned out to be the great equalizer as far as disseminating knowledge/information to the transgender, LGBT, community has gone.
No one (obviously) can really say if transitioning is better - or worse. It depends upon each individual and the situation they are in. So often in our trans tribe, we are so close yet so far apart!
Sunday, October 1, 2017
We got Trans Female Mail
Thanks to the responses we received here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning recent posts about coming out full time as a transgender woman later in life! The first from Connie as she "passed" along a remembrance of going out driving while cross dressed as a girl late at night when she was quite young:
 |
| Early picture when I first started growing my hair out. |
- "I should have added that I'd given up the auto transmission to "drive a stick" at the age of seventeen. After so many years of shifting gears back and forth, though, I finally had to leave it in high gear. Whether I ever got myself into passing gear or not is another question. :-)"
- And from Marcia:
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"That's where I am-now or never. 14 months of HRT and on track to be full-time by coming out day next October. I have to get through my divorce and somehow figure out how to preserve my law practice in the meantime. :) Onward!"
Onward indeed! Good karma Marcia, we know it is difficult but all so worth it!
And last (but hopefully not least :), Paula:
"As with most of us I can't remember a time when my gender wasn't in question, I think I started my transition when I first realized that I was going to be a man and wouldn't just wake up one morning as a girl, or change simply by an act of will. I certainly remember around the age of eleven doing my paper round in a gym slip smuggled into my paper sack and then changing as soon as I found a safe spot.
Strangely looking back I am glad that I did not go full time till I was in my 50s as I have had so many wonderful experiences that simply were not available to women my age."
Strangely looking back I am glad that I did not go full time till I was in my 50s as I have had so many wonderful experiences that simply were not available to women my age."
Well put as always Paula!
Thanks to all you ladies (and Connie).
Friday, September 29, 2017
Mtf Transitioning - With an Automatic Trans
From Connie in reply to yesterdays Cyrsti's Condo LGBT blog post:
"The internet has been of value for more than just the information. It was in a forum setting that we met online, and (at least on my end), the sharing of thoughts and ideas was of great help toward our individual transitions. You have continued this through this blog - and I can't help but to chime in, just as before.
I started all of my scheming and worrying about the age of eleven. I knew that I could not be a girl, but I imagined that I could move away to a place nobody knew me when I turned eighteen, and simply live my life as a young woman. I so wanted to grow up to be a woman, and I even began sneaking my mom's car out in the middle of the night just to drive around as though I were.
"The internet has been of value for more than just the information. It was in a forum setting that we met online, and (at least on my end), the sharing of thoughts and ideas was of great help toward our individual transitions. You have continued this through this blog - and I can't help but to chime in, just as before.
I started all of my scheming and worrying about the age of eleven. I knew that I could not be a girl, but I imagined that I could move away to a place nobody knew me when I turned eighteen, and simply live my life as a young woman. I so wanted to grow up to be a woman, and I even began sneaking my mom's car out in the middle of the night just to drive around as though I were.
I've told this story before, but my mom's reaction was actually priceless when she'd figured out that I'd driven the car one night. Because I was wearing her clothes and one of her wigs, and the fact that we looked an awful lot alike, she was only upset because she was afraid someone might have thought she were out at 3:00 AM! It was as if a thirteen-year-old driving was not a problem at all. I call that my "automatic transition with an automatic transmission." :-) It didn't end up as easy as that sounds, though. Like you, "full time" for me began after the age of 60."
Interestingly, several of us talked about the "whys and hows" of transgender transitioning after the age of 60 during my last transgender - crossdresser support group meeting. Most came to the conclusion it was a now or never lifetime opportunity for them.
Thanks Connie!
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