Playing the LGBT Hits!

Here in Cincinnati we have a radio station which only plays hit music from the 50's and 60's.

When I get the chance to just sit back and listen, I just can't help think about the distance I have come over the years in reference to my gender dysporia.

I can only think wow as I have breakfast with my very accepting daughter and my youngest grandson. Plus of course, breakfast is only one example of how far I have come in solving the gender questions I had.

The Army and college were mixed in to the mix for good measure, as was a lengthy stint in a very dark closet.

Why did I get out? I wish I could say it was because of a series of very shrewd moves on my part, but rather destiny giving me a break after life went into a dark spin for me and I tried to end it. At that point I found there was so much more to live for, if I could just get there.

After more error than success, I found that even I could navigate the world as a transgender woman.

I wish I could answer in a more concise way, how I came to be at this point in my life. The only thing I can say is follow your soul and be a little patient and change will come.

And the hits just keep on coming!

Gender Reassignment Surgery

As I continue to "catch up" on all the back comments here in Cyrsti's Condo, I thought this one from Paula in the UK was highly significant, especially in the midst of the health care battle going on now in the U.S.

"Here in the UK our treatment is part of the NHS, certainly GRS is available, with top surgery also available for many MtoFs as well. Our medication is funded, yet electrolysis and other "cosmetic" treatments can be hard to get or not available depending on just where you live. 

Nobody will get NHS treatment before everybody is happy that they are ready, and that means socially and physically, after all this is major surgery and your need to be fit and healthy to get through it; there is also the "real life experience" which mean that we are expected to have lived in our true gender identity for some time (usually a couple of years) before being referred for surgery. It is worth noting that although the surgery is funded not all us will opt for it, taking the financial burden away makes it easier to focus on exactly what it is that is really needed."

Thanks Paula! 

I also know some individuals who don't think Medicare should cover Gender Reassignment Surgery at all in this country and they have their valid points too.

As far as the person goes who started this discussion, I won't see her until again until the latter part of July to garner any more information. In the meantime, I did ask my therapist and all she could say was she thought the person started with a doctor in the Indianapolis, Indiana area who did the surgery and took Medicare...then worked her way backwards from there.

I will try to find out more (as I said) from our next  LGBT transgender veteran meeting.

Cincinnati LGBT Pride and Mo'

First of all, I would like to pass along thanks to all of you who sent along condolences to Liz and I following her father's death. It meant a lot!
Second of all, it occurred to me I hadn't written a post concerning my day at this year's Cincinnati LGBT Pride celebration. The weather turned out to be flat out glorious for the day and the turn out was enormous. If you have never been to a big Pride event, people watching is a must!

I was in my element attempting to "peddle" our Ohio Valley Witches Ball T-Shirts, Cookbooks and Candy Bars. Plus, I could pass out brochures about the event. Something to the effect of if you get me talking, I can't shut up.

After being called "Ozzie Osbourne" once, I had a great day of acceptance and saw a wide range of folks from several other transgender woman friends, to some drag queens from Rude Paul's Drag Race. What sort of disappointed me was I had to wear a thick men's style T-Shirt from the Witches Ball to be like everyone else in the tent. But I survived.

Because of the weather, many lesbians just wore "pasties" over their nipples, so I suppose there was plenty of sun block used or plentiful sunburn the next day.

A little less harder to survive were the women's rest room facilities. Cincinnati has built a multi stall permanent restroom building in the park where the event was held along the Ohio River, complete with stainless steel prison style toilets. As I have mentioned on numerous occasions, don't assume women keep a rest room much better than men. It was hot, damp and littered with paper, bottles and cans. Needless to say, I did my best to squat and not sit on the toilet itself. As Liz told me, welcome to her world and at least it wasn't a "porta potty" of some sort. For those of you who don't know, a "porta potty" is a portable toilet not known to be anything thing other than gross.

All in all though, Pride was a wonderful time and I even got a little flirt from a couple "Bear" gay guys carrying their flag. Of course Liz noticed and offered to introduce me! I was "Skeerted", but they could have changed my outlook on life again I suppose.

So I can't wait for next year's Pride parade and festival!!!

In Passing

Mercifully, my father in law has passed on. It wasn't pretty, but it's finally over, except a viewing, funeral, etc.

The only words of wisdom I can bring to the whole affair is that I never thought I would ever have to put together an appropriate outfit for a funeral/viewing. When I look back at all my cross dressing years when passing meant everything, little did I realize that someday it would mean nothing.

Fortunately, I do have a somber outfit I can come up for the occasion, I think. Liz of course has the final say.

It is with a heavy heart, I leave you today with a tribute to a 91 year old man who really didn't have to welcome me into his family, but he did.

Pass in Peace Jim!

My Behind

My apologies for being so behind again!

Been involved in an really down to the wire move for my father in law, who is in hospice now.

But to let you know I still love you, here is a quote to think about:

"Life is a bitch...until you become one." from all Trans Nazi's everywhere!

In All Fairness...

Connie responded to my recent post about a supposed smoker and her recent SRS. In all fairness to her I should have said "alleged" smoker because she could have lived around others who smoked:

"I have to wonder about someone who gets the surgery while still needing makeup counseling. What kind of transition is it when you are dependent on the government to do it for you? I don't disparage anyone for taking advantage of available services, but I think of transitioning to be like earning a freedom. There's a lot of personal effort that is required to do it, and scoring free (or heavily subsidized) surgeries, services, and accessories is not enough. Also, all of the reputable doctors I know of would never prescribe HRT or perform a surgery for one who smokes - especially one who is of Medicare age. It all sounds as fishy as the seafood counter to me.

Having said all that, I am interested in what procedures (or hoops) there are to getting Medicare to sign off on SRS. I hear stories of it happening, but I never hear how to do it. Did this woman offer any useful information, or was she just bragging? By the way, I hope she only does her bragging to trans groups, because there are many people who would be pissed off to learn that Medicare is paying for SRS.

Is "DAME" an acronym? If so, what does it stand for? Not "Dykes Against Men Everywhere" I hope!"

As far as makeup counseling, I think this person is one who has taken the process (in my mind) totally backwards. Now that she has a working vagina, she still needs to get public approval of her femininity.  Plus she has not been treated well in the hair department and struggles mightily with male pattern baldness. My guess is she is like the rest of us financially and would need assistance with buying a wig. Similar to the assistance she received for SRS through Medicare. Ironic isn't it? Can get a 25,000$ vagina, but not a wig?

The next time I see her, I will see if I can get any useful SRS information from her and pass them along, except for her Doctor's name.

As far as the "Dykes" comment, I always have gotten along famously with many types of lesbians, I'm thinking the VA acronym could be quite exciting :).  The group could be another LGBT group within the hospital , and which group doesn't need a token transgender woman?

Love It When a Plan Comes Together

Plans coming together are so rare it seems when I have to connect so many dots on certain days.

Yesterday, as you may recall, was one of my transgender support meetings at the Dayton, Ohio VA Hospital.

It was a bit cooler, so I chose a lacy three quarter sleeve patterned top with a pair of my fave wholly, embroidered bell bottom jeans and set out on the three and half hour round trip in total comfort.

The meeting was a bit predictable except we had a couple new participants, which is always good and my super butch lesbian friend was there. For some reason, I have always tried to get some some of a flirt on with her. Which works until her partner shows up. One of the other attendee's just completed her SRS paid for by Medicare, as she so proudly told the group two or three times. While, repeating the need for VA financed wigs and makeup counseling, which I know won't happen in my lifetime.

I'm so opinionated though, there always has to be at least one person in the room I totally disagree with and it was her. I think her Medicare SRS is OK of course, but hearing about it so much is a bore. Plus she is a smoker, and reeked of cigarette smell, which I can't stand.

As it turns out, the best was yet to come. As I was leaving, I heard someone yelling my name across the parking lot as loud as they could. Turns out it was one of the nurses I see telling me she was trying to get information to me about a group they call "Dame" on the campus. And, would I think about coming to one or more of their get togethers! How nice was that! I will fill you in with more info when I get it the next time I go back up there. At the least, it's wonderful to be thought of. :)

Finally, when I got back to Cincinnati, I needed to stop and pick up dinner from the grocery. As I shopped the seafood counter, the guy was flirting big time with me. It was almost embarrassing!

I guess my outfit and hair worked better than I thought yesterday. One thing about being transgender and presenting as a woman, you are only as good as what you put into it.But when it all works, it is an experience I can't describe.

Headed Back to The VA

Today is my transgender support group meeting at the Dayton, Ohio Veterans Hospital and a chance to wear my latest fave top. Nothing real exciting to write about, unless something happens at the meeting.

The top is a black tank with sort of a sparkly decoration and most importantly fits just well enough, I can wear it bra less and garner a little more attention without being totally trashy. Plus today, thank goodness, is supposed to be cooler (80 ish) and less humid, so the outfit should be totally comfortable for the drive up and meeting.

Also, I wore it last week around Liz and it didn't get rejected, so I guess it's OK.

Other than that, we continue to struggle with all the negatives associated with a parent (Liz's Dad) in hospice at the age of 91. Nothing ever good or rarely pleasant comes from any of that.

At the least, the situation makes life seem to be more cherished when you have your health.

Dad's Day

Every year here in Cyrsti's Condo, I try to remember my Dad on Father's Day. If you recall, he was a solid member of the "greatest generation" having lived through the Great Depression and World War II.

He never was one for emotion that my brother and I could see and rarely was too vocal in his feelings, but at the same time left no doubt how he felt.

As with my Mom, my feelings for him have mellowed over the years, as he was a great provider and dealt the best he could with the generational cards dealt to him. As it stood, his Dad passed away at a relatively old age in 1949 before I was born. So you can understand a little more where he was coming from.

He built his own house and pretty much was the stereotypical "self made man" which I guess is a fitting reference to me being a "self made woman."

Dad never had an inkling I think that I was transgender and many times I do wonder how he would have adjusted to it. Because, many times under a rough exterior. he was a complex man, simply a product of his times.

He was a weather man in the Army/Air force in WWII, but pursued a living as a banker after he was discharged.

Surprisingly enough, "Mr. Conservative" bought one of the first stereo's we could hear a train running from one speaker to another, and made sure we had a color television for the early broadcasts of Bonanza.

On the other hand, we went fishing in Canada the same place every year for more than a decade...for his vacation.

So Dad, more than you will ever know, I inherited your complexities coupled with Mom's spirit.

Thank you!  Your daughter Jessie.