Ba Ba Boom!

I think the best way to really study how cis women move is to study/take belly dancing classes or better yet sensory burlesque.

Taking either type of classes is on my bucket list, but truthfully I'm not sure I have enough courage.

The next best thing though is watching a group of women dance or maybe sensually grind? I have been fortunate enough to do both and was totally mesmerized. And this comes from a person who has specialized in watching cis women for most of my adult life as a trans woman and before.

"Cinnamon" from Cin City

As it turns out, Cincinnati has it's own group of burlesque artists called the "Cin City Burlesque" and they are having a show on the 20th and Liz and I are going!

I am old enough to remember the very end of the classic old style burlesque acts we used to go "slumming" in college and see in places like Dayton and Toledo, Ohio. These shows came complete with a vaudeville style comedian.

The show I missed which was somewhat similar was in a lesbian bar years later in which I was cross dressed. Two strippers were eagerly awaited by the crowd. Unfortunately, I had to leave before they showed up, as I am sure it would have been entertaining!

For this show as a transgender woman, I think I am going to get a little dressed up and weather permitting, wear my long black skirt with the deep slit up the side with a black tank top.

Should be a great time!!!!

Spring - Un Sprung?

Typically, this time of year is when Momma Nature teases us around here with spring time weather one week with tender new flower blooms and just as suddenly tosses in a few cold rainy days reminiscent of fall weather. Both of which put strains on which wardrobe to wear. Of course, I had put most of my fall and winter wear away after the summer like weather last week.

At any rate, my fave grocery store shopping is to shop the butcher/seafood shops for fresh specials. Cincinnati does have a long running permanent farmers market but it is too far to be practical for me to get to. So, today I threw on a soft form fitting long sleeve top I have with a pair of boyfriend jeans and headed to the store.

Of course, I had to treat myself to a coffee from the store's coffee shop before I started to shop! And, I was treated back with "Thank you Mam'" in return which made the frappacino taste so much better! Then I decided to see if I could find some fresh wild caught seafood on sale and did. (No, not from the Ohio River :)

Again the clerk was pleasant and thanked me nicely.

I often wonder what life would have been like if I could have enjoyed an existence such as this earlier. Better late than never I guess!

Being a transgender woman in the world never felt so good and so completely natural. Whe would have ever "thunk" it?

Not me.

Trans Ohio Part III

First of all I understood the demographics this year were a little different. The 9th Trans Ohio Symposium drew over 250 plus attendees this year which was a record and could create the need for more space in the already huge The Ohio State University student union.

The attendee's seemed to be a bit more diverse this year. Not too young, not too old (like me) and quite a few middle age folks and couples. But a nice contingent of youthful attendees enjoying the safe space I assume.

Clothing wise, most dressed in comfortable attire (jeans or slacks) with the occasional dress mixed in. I must point out though, the weather was terrible with tons of rain and a huge marathon which basically ran past the front of the campus main drag (no pun intended.)  So, heels and hose would have been tough to pull off.

Racially, per norm, the audience was overwhelmingly white.

Sure, there were some fashion mistakes, but I thought from my basically conservative perspective that this was the best year yet. I enjoyed the fact there were a number of quests that I couldn't tell were transgender or ally's.

In fact, I thought this whole year was the best I have attended out of four and I know from my back ground how much work it took to put it on.

All I can say is Wow! and thanks to the organizers!

Trans Ohio Part II

It's interesting to me that looking back on the Trans Ohio Symposium, workshop wise, I basically only remember the poor presentations except for one (by a transgender man) on positive and negative attitudes as you transition.

Being a history degree holder in college, I should have known better than to even try to go to the "Trans History" presentation as most history professors obtained their degrees by excelling in making paint dry. (That interesting!) I envisioned the person who lectured us as one of those undergraduate profs at The Ohio State University who teach (?) those huge courses with a microphone and "Power Point" screen.

Oh well, another hour out of my life I won't get back. Connie, though had a thought for next year:

"It sounds as though you need to think about filling the trans history slot for next year's symposium. You are, after all, both a historian and a transgender woman. I've thought about doing something like that, but I'm afraid I'd come across more as an "add junk" professor (it wouldn't be boring, anyway:-)"

Liz and I have been talking about coming up wit a more interactive workshop. Hopefully expanding on the participants knowledge in the room and calling it something like "It's been a Dark Closet, A Half Century of Transition."

Thanks Connie, I too can add my share of junk :).

I am thinking too of taking this all a step further and volunteering to help with the whole symposium after I found out how active Trans Ohio has been on the state wide scene. But we will have to see on that as there already is a representative from the Cincinnati area.

One way or another, the call for presenters for next year's event is only about six to eight months away, which will slip by before I know it! 

Trans Ohio Part I

There will be quite a bit of ground to cover about the Trans Ohio Symposium, so let me see what I can do, to do it right.

First of all, we did find time to do our nails and I went for the regular manicure with a dark mahogany polish, that I love! We will see now how long I can take care of them under normal wear and tear.

Columbus is only about a hundred miles or so from Cincinnati, so we had a chance to stop for a leisurely lunch and to stop at a metaphysical shop on the way to drop off one of our Ohio Valley Witches Ball brochures. From there, it was off to our hotel room and to relax, meet a trans guy friend and get ready for the nightly mixer at a laid back bar called Club Diversity in Columbus.

Diversity is a very laid back and enjoyable place south of downtown in an old mansion and we loved our annual visit again. (Especially Liz and the the Martini's,) From there it was off in the rain to Thurman's and one of their famous burgers. The hour wait for a seat was worth it!

Because we are old and had an early morning at the Symposium, we went back to the hotel and to sleep. As luck would have it, a major storm system nearly rained out the major running marathon Columbus holds every year and made it extremely difficult to get to The Ohio State University Student Union where the event was being held again. After showing up looking every bit the part of the wet dog, we got our coffee and settled into our first seminar.

Each hour or so we had our choice of at least three different workshops to chose from, and of course we chose the wrong one out of the chute. (Transgender history) Immediately,  this person pulls out about 30 pieces of paper and proceeds to read from them for an hour in a monotone voice. About 15 min into it, I am thinking was I back in college in one of the most boring courses ever? I had a heavy suspicion this person was some sort of an educator somewhere who specialized in making an interesting transgender topic BORING.

At any rate, our time was up, after about three peeps had to add in their comments and I was desperately hoping my choice of workshops would improve. And, they did.

Dramatically!  Plus, by the way, the presenter was some sort of an adjunct professor somewhere. I love it when I am right.

More coming up later :)

Cyrsti's Condo "Archive Post"

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Finding a Transgender Friendly Place

Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with  complex answers I can't even follow.

Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there."

I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!"

Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules:

One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.  The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place.  They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that!

Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant.  You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime.

Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points:

1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start.
2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation.  You will indeed make a good impression.
3.-Go Back.  Maybe not common sense but a good point.  If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations.
4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way. When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.

Last but certainly not least, rest room and dressing room usage.

Very iffy and very sensitive.  Too big of a subject to be covered here except to say I do have one definite standard. When I'm a great regular customer in the places I go-I can get my restroom privileges. Employees and managers get used to me using the women's room.  BUT any "civilian" (not an employee) can change that in an instant with a complaint.  The last thing I want to do is cause a scene. Years ago a male manager at one of my regular haunts revoked my rest room card.  I simply went up the street and established myself at a competitor.  About 6 months later, he got fired and a few of the employees who were still there came and invited me back. How nice was that?

Finally, YOU have the power to enable a place to become transgender friendly.  Just don't go dressing all crazy, acting like an idiot and being a poor citizen. You will just ruin it for all of us.

Pioneer Trans Women?

I have often wondered what transgender women did way back in the day who were crossing the country in covered wagons etc. Of course in higher society, men dressed in wigs etc, anyhow, but still I am sure had no doubt they were men (except in a couple well known historical cases...Chevalier d'Eon.)

d'Eon

Not unlike the guy at the meeting the other night who criticized the trans women in the room for wearing jeans. And, Connie added:

Hey, pioneer women wore dresses to do their gardening! :-)

"As for the proudly closeted cross dresser, he may not wear pants when he's alone, but he probably does pant...and maybe groan a little. Really, though, it's the same mindset as those bowling cross dressers I talked about before. When it's time to be a woman for them, then there is no room for ambiguity. They relish the dichotomy of it all. It didn't take long for me, after being around this group, to know that I did not identify with them. That doesn't make me better, nor should any of them think that they are better than I. It's sad that there are some in both camps who think their way is the right way, especially when we've all been placed under the same umbrella.

Sorry about the time constraints that will keep you from your manicure. Enjoy the symposium, but, for gosh sake, at least brush the garden dirt out from beneath your nails before you go! (otherwise, as your meeting friend says, you might as well go dressed as a man:-) "

I guess having dirt under my nails would be one way to really "butch it up!" 

Plus, I will be interested to see the age/gender mix at the symposium. In the past when I have went, there has been a heavy representation of trans guys and younger ones at that. 

Either Friday night when we go to the mixer and out on the town, I might wear a long skirt and matching top I have or save it for Saturday. 

Cross Port

Cross Port is an organization in Cincinnati, Ohio made up of transgender/crossdresser type peeps. When I can, I go to the bi-monthly meetings for the camaraderie or even entertainment. If you remember a month or so ago, a wife of a cross dresser dressed to the nines made her unhappy visit well known and hasn't been back since. (To my knowledge.) The meeting is pretty much a no frills event as there are other socials, etc.

As you Cyrsti Condo regulars know, I am pretty much a no frills girl, so, as dressed up as I will get will be this weekend at the Trans Ohio Symposium.  So Monday I was wearing what I call a lacy smock top of sorts, jeans and tennis shoes. I blend right in at the meetings as almost all the trans women wear similar outfits, although this meeting some new sandals and colorful toes made their appearance.

Speaking of colorful nails, thanks to Jeni and Connie for their continuing input on rather to get acrylic nails, mine polished or even the stick on variety I had forgotten from my past. It all looks like a mute point now anyhow as time restraints have stepped in, plus the work of putting in a garden.

Back to the meeting. There is one guy who shows up quite a bit loudly proclaiming he is a closeted cross dresser and always will be. I have no problem with any of that until he lapses into a comment about why would any of us being wearing jeans. Might as well come dressed as a man. I wasn't too shocked because I used to hear it years ago when I wore slacks to transvestite mixers.

The answer of course is very simple, the great majority of the transgender women in the room weren't wearing jeans to feel like men any more than cis women do. We do it to blend, for utilitarian reasons or for comfort. I suppose I could wear some sort of a dress to work in the garden but it would be tough.

I suppose too, the ability to wear pants is something which comes with the trans territory, the longer we are out.

Maybe it's earned? Just like cis women have the ability to judge where they are going and dress accordingly.

Take the Initiative

In a recent post, I wrote about the problems with current or proposed transgender bathroom initiatives around my part of the U.S. and received these comments:

1. From Connie:
2. "Even here in liberal Washington state, there is a petition out for yet another "bathroom" initiative for the November ballot. I've been hoping to have one of the paid petitioners approach me on the sidewalk or in front of the grocery store. I've decided that, if it happens, I will spend the rest of my day shadowing the petitioner, just to stand there and smile along side of him or her. I may have to leave, occasionally, when nature calls, but I will loudly proclaim that I am going to the ladies room! How could that be worse than the homeless guy who freely pees on the sidewalk?"

1. 
   Paula GoodwinApril 20, 2017 at 8:25 AM

   "As I may have mentioned before, I am so glad I live in Europe in the 21st Century! I regularly holiday in Malta, although predominantly Roman Catholic this is a very accepting Country and I have never had anything less than full acceptance. They may have some old fashioned ideas about birds, but they are right on the button on LGBT issues."

As I have said a number of times, Cincinnati is a very liberal place but if we journey very far into the rural areas around town, I have to be careful of what I am doing. Although, as time passes, life is becoming easier for me (knock on wood.) Maybe it's a paraphrase of Connie's statement, when the heart and mind passes, the body follows.