Turn the Page

No matter how I look at it-or want to do it-I feel like a kid again who can't wait for Christmas. This year though, barring pestilence and an/or extremely bigoted judge, I won't have to settle for the boys toys anymore.

Which brings me to the title of this post "Turn the Page"- a very popular song was done in the 70's by Bob Seger. Here is a little background from Wikipedia:

"We had been playing somewhere in the Midwest, or the northern reaches, on our way to North or South Dakota. [Guitarist] Mike Bruce was with us. We'd been traveling all night from the Detroit area to make this gig, driving in this blinding snowstorm. It was probably 3 in the morning.

Mike decided it was time to get gas. He was slowing down to exit the interstate and spied a truck stop. We all had very long hair back then – it was the hippie era – but Skip, Mike and Bob had all stuffed their hair up in their hats. You had to be careful out on the road like that, because you'd get ostracized. When I walked in, there was this gauntlet of truckers making comments – "Is that a girl or man?" I was seething; those guys were laughing their asses off, a big funny joke.

That next night, after we played our gig – I think it was Mitchell, S.D. – Seger says, "Hey, I've been working on this song for a bit, I've got this new line for it. He played it on acoustic guitar, and there was that line: "Oh, the same old cliches / 'Is that a woman or a man?' " It was "Turn the Page."^[1]"

If any of you have been through that part of the country, you can understand why the lyrics hit home. Hell in my hometown then, long hair (hitting the top of your collar) could get you shot in the wrong redneck bar.

Bottom line is my friend Ed from "Nighthawk" did a fabulous job with the song but I am sure little did he know exactly HOW much the music meant to me Friday. 

A Glass of the "Bubbly"

Not quite-but Friday night Liz and I went out to a local Cincinnati Winery to hear a friend play acoustical tunes and celebrate the very beginning of my gender marker changes. 

It was cool getting to dress up for the evening, enjoy a very tasty entree and my first taste of alcohol of any kind since the middle of last summer. It was even cooler to be called "ladies" by the owner and servers etc. Plus interestingly, the owner seemed to be overly entranced he had a real live transgender woman in his restaurant.

Perhaps though, the "bestest" part of the evening was when I went to the ladies room after dinner and all so briefly thinking Wow! In an so enticingly short period of time, my "M" will be wiped off my ID's and changed to "F". 

Now, I know my journey is far from over and most certainly I can be my own most paranoiac enemy but in the mean time when I saw the "Woman" sign on the door-I felt I had really arrived.

Then, I had to really go!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition."

Ker Plunk! Listen up! Another Sunday Edition is hitting your virtual front porch. Just a mile or so of the Ohio River we are experiencing record warm temps and no violent weather-for awhile. Example? The Bengals/Squeelers Football game here in Cincinnati today is expected to be dry with highs near 70. For all of you who aren't so fortunate, I am sending all the good vibes I can! Now, let's get started.

Page One-the Week that Was - or Wasn't: Selfishly, the week for me was one of ups and sniffles. Been feeling under the weather, but mixed in with all of that was a trip to the VA and discovering somehow they had been keeping my gender change a secret. However, being the VA-they changed my gender but not my name so I became sort of a reverse of the old Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue." - a girl named a boy's name. However, the whole problem is expected to be fixed when I get my legal name change completed December 23rd. Which brings us to Page Two:

Page Two-Wiping the Slate Clean: Obviously it is a huge deal to have your gender markers changed. A move which has become (more and more) one of choice and not of expensive/painful surgery which was/is out of most of us's reach - if we wanted it or not. Now increasingly, stories of legal gender liberation are becoming part of the public consciousness. Here is Connie's:

"As of yesterday afternoon, I have finally jumped through the name-change hoop, myself! I was approaching it like just another hoop, anyway, but the judge was more emotional about it than I - treating it more like a ceremony than a legal formality. In fact, the whole courtroom broke out in applause as I exited! I managed to hold back the tears until half-way across the parking lot. I had intended to go directly to the Dept. of Licensing to get my new driver license, but I'd totally ruined my makeup before I made it to my car, and there was no way I was going to have that face on my new license. I can't believe that I waited so long to do this, but at least I didn't wait until I was as old as you are, Cyrsti (or whatever your new name is). HaHa. I have to say that this is all pretty cool - don't you think? BTW, I did not include the "fabulous" for my new legal name, but it sure makes me feel that way. :-)"

OK!!!! YAY! I am so happy for you Connie!!! (Regardless of the cheap shots!)  FYI The outgoing judge I am seeing also has refused to sign same sex marriage licenses like the snake woman down in Kentucky but Ohio for once has figured how to sweep it under the rug-or his robes. And, the court "room" has about 15 seats and my "case" should be about the last before they shut down for Christmas.

Page Three-Looking Back and Forward: Looking back, I have always "blamed" Connie for the Cyrsti's Condo blog. We "met" on the same "social" blog which was heavily dominated by who I used to call the "trans nazi's" or purists. I used to write about my crazy stories as I sought my true gender and got "bashed" by more than a couple of them. What?? Have fun??? How dare you??? And when is your surgery scheduled anyhow?

It was Connie who suggested I write my own blog. I asked how it was spelled? 

Finally Connie, either at your age you have a great memory (or were guessing), my legal name will be a mix of my maternal grandfather's name and my Mom's. Being rather superstitious, I have been very guarded about telling anyone what it will be. Ironically though, I have sort of painted myself into a corner because my whole life now is built around peeps who have always known me as Cyrsti. Never was a good painter though!

Page Four-The Back Page: Well, got to go kids. Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!! Love you all!

Nikki's Long Journey

Connie passed along this story of a transgender veteran's life of being terribly discriminated against following a decision by the U.S Military- which began in 1967.

Few remember the pressure the military could bring on your life back then if you didn't "do your duty" - stay firmly in your closet and earn an honorable discharge. For the greatest majority of the transgender troops (still basically unknown) in those days- we could and were dumped into the "gay" category and discharged-at the best with a general discharge. Let's get back to the present and Nikki's story:

"Nikki never dreamed that she would be buying a house in Salem, Oregon with a loan from the VA: “At 72, I didn’t think I would ever see the day that I received an honorable discharge from the U.S. Air Force. In 1967, I was outed as gay and given a ‘general discharge under less than honorable conditions.’ It took them 48 years to recognize the contributions of this bisexual, bigender veteran.”

Nikki had been the internal information officer who was in charge of the Air Force base’s weekly newspaper and coordinating the commanding general’s monthly “Commanders’ Call” bulletins and speeches. She* received accolades from the Pentagon for this monthly work.

One night in 1967, she was pulled into a dark hallway by two members of the Air Force Office of Special Investigation. They threatened Nikki, telling her they knew she was gay and trying to pressure her to admit it. These psychological games continued, and Nikki was terrified of what would happen to her.

When it came to a head, her commanding general gave her the choice of being officially charged with being gay, facing a court martial, and having that be on her permanent record, or signing a paper that resigned her commission “for the good of the service.”

Nikki signed.

Take a look at the rest of her story here: written by Katie Carter.

Just another example of how the US military system just may have kicked their best fighters out of the system

Upgrade!

Finally, Liz and I shamed a certain "big box" electronics store into completely replacing the piece of sh-t laptop she bought there with a warranty - and it was haunted.

It was guaranteed to break down in my hands every two months or so...it hated me.

So sometime this weekend I should get back to working on regular blog posts, my next book and my collector's shop. 

Can't wait!!!!

Gender Marker "Dominoes"

In the last post, I promised to pass along what I like to describe as my Mtf transgender legal marker progress as my own game of Dominoes. 

Once one Domino falls, the process really gets moving...Or should.

Two disclaimers though. The first is I have never been through this process before and secondly, where you are the process my be different.

My plan was to get my legal name change completed. I am due in court on the 23rd. Plus I live in an area where the court costs are still relatively reasonable, so I could afford it. Assuming my name change goes through, as I wrote in the last Cyrsti's Condo post, I can complete my Veterans Administration identification process.

At the same time, I will need to get my paperwork into the State of Ohio BMV (Bureau of Motor Vehicles) they say I should hear within 10 days or so about my approval for a new license. Ohio is a little tricky though because you have to have irrefutable evidence (letter) from your physician/ therapist that your change is permanent. If not, they will tell you to change back or repeat the process in the future. I have that covered, but again must wait for the legal name change to send the paper work in.

Now, Social Security supposedly can be done on line or by mail-but I would rather take my chances spending a very boring day at a local SS office. Let's point out Social Security could care less about your gender change (unless you get a rogue clerk) but does care about your name (of course.)

By this time, I will have to make certain nothing in my bank's system will screw up my monthly stipend from Social Security-which is electronically deposited.

So, there you go. My own very personal game of gender marker Dominoes. We both know the best laid plans of transgender women and men everywhere can go awry in this process. Plus I know there are many more markers which need to be changed we don't even think of. I read sometime ago of a trans woman running into problems at her veterinarians office of all places. 

I will keep you posted on my game! 

The First Domino Fell!

As I wrote of before here in Cyrsti's Condo, today was endocrinologist day at my Veteran's Hospital. To say the day went relatively well is an understatement! 

First of all, my initial blood labs came back well enough that the Doc is prepared to let me back on estrogen if one more test on my blood comes back positive. Then, I didn't have to even give a pint today to hematology because my iron readings are back to the normal range.

So, all of a sudden Liz and I had extra time to seek out the office of the VA Privacy Officer who (as you may remember) holds the key to getting my gender markers changed within the VA-so I don't have be called "Mr.Hart" anymore.

I have tried and my psychologist has tried to tie this guy down as to what was going on with my case. Today (which is nearly unheard of) we found the building-we found his office and we found him!

He jumped right to it and started wondering to himself what the hell was going on and pulled my change request up on his computer screen. As we read it my heart sunk when it still had my male name on it but soared when the gender read-Female! 

Literally, as he tried to figure out why the gender was changed and not the name-my life flashed in front of my eyes. It was a true surreal experience. I'm sure what was only a couple of minutes seemed so much longer.

What we finally came up with on the formal name change was when I get the formal court name change on the 23rd- bring it straight to him.

At that point, what I call gender marker "dominoes" really begin to fall. More on that later!

A Tribute to Leelah Alcorn?

Most certainly one of the main ideas Leelah Alcorn wanted to pass along before the young transgender teen girl committed suicide almost exactly a year ago close to Cincinnati, Ohio was- to have her death mean something.

If you don't remember, Leelah's parents were devout conservative Christians and subjected their daughter to conversion therapy. Now it seems, Leelah's message is coming through-here in Cincinnati at least:



"The Nati" again stands to become a national leader in LGBT rights as debate isscheduled Monday on a measure that would ban preoperative or conversion therapy for LGBT youth

City Council Member Chris Seelbach said Thursday that at Monday’s meeting of the council’s law and public safety committee, he will propose an ordinance that would impose a $200-a-day fine on a therapist or counselor practicing the therapy that aims to “change” lesbians, gay men, bisexuals or transgender people from their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Passage apparently would make Cincinnati the first major U.S. city to ban reparative or conversion therapy. The Movement Advancement Project, an LGBT organization in Denver that tracks legislation nationwide on reparative therapy, has no record of a city passing an ordinance that would ban the practice.

Cincinnati has pioneered other official moves to embrace LGBT citizens, including offering health benefits to transgender city employees and setting aside a City Hall bathroom as gender-neutral.

As promising as it this all is, the problem of Evangelical Christians doing their own "therapy." Still under the radar and in the same room with the snakes.

Plus, in Leelah's case, her church I believe was across the Ohio River-out of reach from those "pesky" regulations forbidding brainwashing your LGBTQ child. 

But the resolution is a great start!!!!

R.I.P. Holly Woodlawn

At my age one of the moments of knowing I wasn't alone in the closet with my gender dysphoria was when Lou Reed crooned "Take a Walk on the Wild Side." It started like this:

Holly came from Miami F-L-A,

Hitchhiked her way across the U.S.A.,

Plucked her eyebrows on the way,

Shaved her legs and then he was a she.

Very soon, Ms. Woodlawn took her place in the Warhol pantheon alongside two other freshly minted stars, the transgender actresses Jackie Curtis and Candy Darling. Together, they brought a daffy, deadpan style to Mr. Morrissey’s next film, “Women in Revolt,” also produced by Warhol, a satire on the women’s liberation movement, with Ms. Woodlawn playing a nymphomaniac fashion model who detests men and joins the militant organization P.I.G. (Politically Involved Girls).

Thanks Holly! Rest in Peace.