Down the Rabbit Hole?

It's been fairly obvious to most of you visitors to Cyrsti's Condo during my life I have spent some time rummaging around in the "crawzy wabbit" hole.

Most assume automatically it's been because I am transgender and have been on this epic journey seeking my "genderality." Of course much of that is true but there is so much more.

The Goddess has blessed me with a daughter, three grand kids and yet another cis woman who loves me  All of which I have never been sure I deserved. Still, there is so much more I have never ever been able to reach out and understand.

One hundred twenty five years ago when I was serving out the rest of my Army time in Germany, a couple friends and I began to explore meditation lessons. I actually became so involved I actually scared myself off. To this day though, I still use what I learned to clam myself down and de-stress.

That's all good, but yesterday at Liz and I's "Meetup" group,one of the women in the group presented an idea for a group of us to attend a group of "self awareness" sessions. I was wary until she said you could go down your own rabbit hole to the point of coming out the other side. If we had the courage or need to.

We talked later about the sessions and I expressed some of my reservations about the sessions. She assumed I was referring to being transgender. Of course I wasn't. But then I began to think , it's a good idea.

You see, "back in the day" I was deeply trying to deny my gender dysphoria and maybe somehow my fears were tied in with what I was inevitable. Now of course, I am way past all of that. 

So maybe I can release more of my demons-at the least . Never let the "wabbit's" hear you scream, at least- in our own hole. 

Earth Girls Have it Easy???

Used to think years ago girls/women did have it easier than men. After all, back in the day, how hard did June Cleaver really have it on Leave it to Beaver? Except making sure she was looking her best as she served the evening dinner?

Of course as I grew up and learned more about the meaning of "family values"-what were June's wifely duties for husband Ward after the show was over? Of course as the conservative social peeps preach, it was a simpler time. After all, gays were in the closet, men in dresses (transvestites) could be arrested on site and so what if the girl's phys ed teacher acted a "little" masculine?  And, what the hell was a transgender person???

In my case, the more I transitioned into the feminine world, I found out how earth girls had it less easy than earth boys. On the rare occasion a guy did move into my social radar, found that compared to women, I experienced far more problems. I am sure passing privilege had something to do with that, but that is another blog post.

Where I am going with this one is the comment Jazz Jennings made about her teen-aged interactions with male and female class mates. I paraphrase but she said something to the point that her female classmates just had to stick their behinds out to get attention but with her, it was much more difficult with the boys. As you can imagine.

So no, "earth girls" don't have it easy and "earth trans girls" have a much harder time yet!

We can only hope the June Cleaver's of today aren't stopping on their way home from their job picking up "Jesus's Own Chicken" from Chik-fil-et and choosing a much more LGBT friendly chain! 

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Nine Lives Lost-So Far

Casper Taub

The grim reality is the trans suicides keep mounting. Not long ago in April A bullied 15-year-old transgender skater from West Bloomfield, Michigan died from suicide.

Casper Taub's death was brought to national attention Wednesday (15 July) night in Caitlyn Jenner’s powerful speech at the ESPY Awards.

Taub, who was also known as Sam, skated under the number 57 and his teammates in the Darlings of Destruction Junior Derby League remember him as ‘a bright and shining star’ whose ‘sense of humor was fantastic.’

He is the ninth transgender teen to die by suicide this year.

Jenner spoke about transgender suicide in her emotional ESPYs speech and paid tribute to Taub and 17-year-old Mercedes Williamson – a transgender woman of color was found stabbed to death in a field in Mississippi.

‘I also want to tell you about Sam Taub, a 15-year-old transgender young man from Bloomfield, Michigan,’ Jenner said.

‘In early April, Sam took his own life. Now, Sam’s story haunts me in particular because his death came just a few days before ABC aired my interview with Diane Sawyer.'

It's easy for me to place the tragic blame on conservative families, religious bigots and poorly supervised schools- but then again maybe I am right. 

Comedy and the Trans Girl

Recently I have been meeting my friend Kim for our Wednesday night "play nights." Rarely are they boring and the venue where we have been going for years has been experimenting with different ways of building business. The newest is yet another version of the well worn out Ladies Night drink specials along with different forms of so called entertainment. I figured it was far past time to enjoy my taste of Ladies Drink Specials!

One of the bigger surprises was when we found ourselves front and center on "Comedy Night." Our expectations were low - not expecting to see the next Jerry Seinfeld or Amy Shumer that night but, actually a couple of the guys were entertaining. (Or it could have been the 'dolla' pints?) Whatever the case, one of the comics began to zero in on the two sets of ladies in the half empty bar. I was half of one of the sets. Initially, I was a little embarrassed and warmed up to the attention.  Why not?

After the show, the comic came over to us and said "would you ladies be interested in attending his bigger show in August? If we were, he had free tickets for us." We took the tickets, again-of course.

Of course I had a great time all night. What I never (or not yet) grasped all the factors of why I have completely wonderful periods of time living my chosen gender-or others which are disasters. Obviously material for many blog posts.

One thing I do know is, I have to work very hard for any passing privilege I achieve. When I don't keep my hair up, my make up right or my weight down-I am just beginning to look for problems.

In the meantime, the times when my gender stars come together are unbelievably natural and uplifting-no joke!!! 

Having the Courage to Pay Forward?

Yesterday here in Cyrsti's Condo, we wrote about the relative "plethora" of transgender related programming Wednesday night but still forgot to mention Caitlin Jenner's acceptance of an ESPY. What is an "ESPY" you might ask? It's the annual Emmy's style award show directed at the sporting world by the sports programming giant ESPN. Both Pat and Connie asked me (sort of) why I didn't mention Caitlin. First some background: Of course not all the world was pleased with Jenner receiving the award for courage. Even I had my doubts as I witnessed the up close and personal struggle with a terminal brain tumor waged around Christmas last year by a local Cincinnati woman's basketball player. (Lauren Hill-now deceased)

Jenner (left)-Lauren Hill (right)

From Time Magazine:

"In the midst of the outcry, though, Jenner stood strong — a resolve she carried to the stage on Wednesday night. She used the speech as a rallying cry for the fair treatment of transgender youth.

“If you want to call me names, make jokes, doubt my intentions, go ahead, because the reality is I can take it,” she said. “But for the thousands of kids out there coming to terms with the truth of who they are, they shouldn’t have to take it.”

“For the people out there wondering what this is all about — whether it’s about courage or controversy or publicity — it’s about what happens from here,” she continued. “It’s not about just one person… it’s not just about me, it’s about all of us, accepting one another. We’re all different. That’s not a bad thing. That’s a good thing."

Yes, my most jaded self came to appreciate when Caitlin Jenner did have the opportunity to speak on behalf of the most important segment of the transgender community (youth) she did.

A Big Night Tonight

Plenty of action on the the American "Tube" tonight. (Wednesday EST) Do they call televisions a tube anymore or has the term gone the route of calling transvestites "TV's"? 

From ABC News:

"Like many teenage girls her age, Jazz Jennings spent time at the beach this summer and loves playing soccer with her friends, but she’s about to face a new challenge when she starts high school in the fall.

“I’m a little bit worried because I’m not sure if people are going to be fully accepting,” she said. “I’ve noticed that boys are less accepting than girls.”

Jazz is transgender, and at just 14 years old, she is staving off puberty and medically transitioning her body to female, the gender she identifies as, by taking estrogen and puberty blockers. All the while, like her peers, Jazz is trying to navigate typical teenage issues.

“It's hard for me to talk about boys with my friends sometimes,” Jazz said. “All they have to do is stuck their butt out and then a boy's like, ‘Text me.’ For me, it's not like that.”

AND! NASA has announced more and more of the historic pictures of the (planet??) tonight. Pluto tonight. And, all along I thought Pluto was a cartoon dog!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

Cyrsti's Condo - "On the Runway"

Unidentified Pinterest Womanless Pageant Cross Dresser

Should "Sean" try not to look toooo comfortable in his girlfriends boots in this womanless beauty pageant picture. And, did gf (and her girl friends)  really take away his male clothes for the night?