Girl Scout?

This morning as we were taking Liz's 90 year old Dad back to the eye surgeon, the conversation turned to her youth and then to her time as a Girl Scout-then on to other topics like why he didn't wear his National Rifle Association hat. Not exactly a card carrying liberal, but a fair guy none the less.

Recently, we have been wondering what he really thinks about me and/or my relationship with his daughter. Keep in mind, before you think I may be falling back on a sudden amazing amount of passing privilege, he is 90. But, his cataract operations are providing amazing results and now he can see me. On top of all of that Liz is not so sure of his reaction of her being with another woman-transgender or not. Or if he has a clue about me.

This morning we got an answer when he turned around in the car and asked "Cyrsti, were you in the Girl Scouts?" It was a good thing I didn't have a mouth full of coffee!  One thing is for sure, back in the day, there would have been no way I would have been allowed to even come close!

Stop the Whining Dammit!

If this wasn't my blog, I might call myself a drama queen. It is though, so I won't. However these days I find myself mired in bitchin n whining. It could be for the most part around here, we are still being teased by Momma Spring.

For instance, let's start with my hair. When I started HRT, I couldn't wait until my hair became long enough to style and I could put away wigs forever. All was good until I found the dark side of the sun. Otherwise known as the back of my head. All this time, I never gave much thought to the back of my head. Out of sight out of mind. As I progressesd I used to joke my own hair was the first I wore that I couldn't just turn around and style on a wig head. After all, I didn't want to re-enact a scene from The Exorcist horror movie. And, speaking of the movie, sometimes I think when my estrogen kicks in, my attitude may head a little to the bitchy side.

So now, as I made a quick trip to the grocery today, a brief moment of clarity hit me somewhere between baking and produce-this is what I signed up for. I wouldn't trade it for the world and waited sooooo long for it but is it really time to color my hair again?

Short Term?

I'm fond of telling friends who ask about doing something in three or four months, sure, I will be there if I am still alive! They think I am just playing around but the way I have led my life in general over the years, my life was like that anyhow. Example?  A job for me was just a minor stop heading to the next one, I needed to find out what was around the next corner. Of course these days as I try to overthink everything in my life, I have come up with a couple reasons I live my life in the 'short term'.

First, I blame my unwillingness to settle down on my gender dysphoria (because nothing I did felt completely right.) Plus, what I call my "war" years 1965-1975 were terrifically unsettling. I was either in high school worrying about getting drafted, in college running from it or in the military itself. In fact, in the last three years before discharge, I bounced back and forth between three continents.  So, I don't know, but perhaps I can blame all of that uncertainty added to my transgender self for my 'free spirited self' today.

And, speaking of free spirited, I'm trying now to come up with the 'bestest' idea ever for my third Trans Ohio workshop class this year. I am thinking now of the 'blank paper' class. Give a quick bio, pass out a piece of paper and tell everyone to write down why they are there and what do they want to know. Then threaten them-I am more than capable of talking for a hour.

I keep forgetting two things: the first of which is I do intimidate some just because I might be ahead of them in my transition and after this amount of time, I do forget the small things. One thing is for sure, I will have plenty of time between now and the end of May to change my mind. Damn, that's a long time away!

Third Times a Charm

You regulars around Cyrsti's Condo know I have been a workshop presenter at the annual TransOhio Trans and Ally Symposium.  This is my third year and I am calling my workshop: "Invisible no more-Transitioning as a Senior Citizen." The picture to the left was taken with "Brutus Buckeye" (mascot) at The Ohio State Student Union-where the symposium was held last year.

Each year I walk away from the conference thinking what did I learn, what did anyone learn from my success-or errors, how could I have done my workshop more effectively and damn!- that went too quick. So, this year, I am doing a brief bio on myself and opening the floor to questions.

Also, I am trying to open my workshop this year further to spouses and ally's. Since Liz is my co-presenter, she is always more than happy to talk to a fellow generic about the inherent problems of maintaining a relationship within a transgender person.  Even though the conference literally has something going on every hour-there are breaks where she/we can sit down with other couples. We were able to do that last year with a couple or two and saw a couple others who were possibilities. Something else I'm trying this year is to post a sign in my workshop that Liz and I are approachable and have had all of our shots!

If you would like information (and are relatively close to Columbus, Ohio) I can direct you to the right spots for more. And, if you are Connie-you could dream about being in the student union of a university who actually WON the football National Championship!

Leelah Remembered!

Another huge positive Saturday night happened before Liz and I even got out of the car and walked into the restaurant to meet the rest of the party.  We were sitting there when a generic walked by my car and mentioned my bumper sticker. She asked us where could she get one because it was a needless tragedy.

The one above has wintered on my back window pretty well and I was impressed when a civilian stopped to comment and show support on her own.  Sadly, I couldn't tell her-but-I am asking round now. So if any of you want one, let me know.

Out With The Girls

Saturday night was a "girl's night out" with a couple of Liz's former work friends. Outside of missing one of the girls who couldn't come-I got to hear about all the not so "good times" of where they all used to work. Plus, there were two male type "spouses" there. (Mindy I missed you but understand!!!!)

I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo about the different dynamics around the table when a group of women gets together. Saturday, I found it interesting how a more "passive aggressive" approach was used by all of them to describe a former boss-except for Liz who still works for her and was the least likely to sugar coat her job.
The two guys (spouses) were pretty much the same as I run into.  Standoffish at first, until they found out I have had all my shots and don't bite.

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

Cyrsti's Condo-"It's All Good"

It's all good for this unidentified young cross dresser until his sister gets home! If he doesn't pass out in the meantime!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another rather late Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch!

Page One.- The Week that Was-or Wasn't:  A couple weeks ago, I began to document a few of the top changes I have gone through during past three years or so on HRT. At the same time, I received feedback from Connie (same age) on why HRT is not the end all for some. (Other than the fact, the hormones could be the end all-if not taken correctly.)  She wrote:

I don't feel a real need to enhance my "womanhood" by artificial means, insofar as the effects that hormones would have on my mind, anyway. Sure, I would love to have a more feminine figure, and I dislike the artificial means (strategic padding) I must go to in presenting one, but I worry that attempting to create a killer figure by way of HRT could be, in reality, a kill-her figure. Some may say, then, that my heart is just not in it, yet it is because my literal heart is at stake that I resist the temptation. I find it amusing, if not outright amazing, though, that so many people assume I have been on HRT for the past couple of years. Even my doctor raised an eyebrow during a physical exam, and she asked me if I might have been self-prescribing. Ha! Maybe it's just mind over matter? No, it is my reality that matters, and I am finally living it!

Too many times I believe there are too many people believing they know the "true path" to transgender happiness when there isn't one.

Page Two.- "Amazon Eve" Takes on the Nati! This week, Cincinnati Pride announced Erika Ervin also known as "Amazon Eve" from the American Horror Story. Erika is an American transgender model, fitness trainer, and actress.  At 6 feet 8 inches (2.03 m) tall, news stories have called her "the world's tallest model". Good for Cincinnati!!!

Page Three.- The Back Page.- You all have a fabulous week and thanks sooooo much for visiting the "Condo!"