Trying too Hard

As I sat in the salon today going through the process of making my hair presentable, I had a chance to read a few of the fashion/style magazines which were naturally available.
One story quickly caught my interest. It seems a genetic woman wrote an article about her experience with wigs. She set out to try as many colors and styles as she could during a day and then wear her choice on the subways of NYC.

Of course like the rest of us, she was totally blown out of the water and like many of us...went the blond route.

Here's the fun part. After she made her choice, she felt attractive and secure with her new appearance- until she rode on the subway.  Her comment? I became paranoid because I thought people would think I was trying too hard. (paraphrased)

Wow! Isn't trying too hard to be feminine one of our biggest fundamental problems from cross dresser to transgender? Once we relax and allow our inner girls to emerge, all of the sudden our lives become easier.

As my stylist worked her magic and I walked out, I thought how much sense the genetic woman made.

Pee Papers

Thanks To "Bobbie" our intrepid internet "Silver Surfer" here in Cyrsti's Condo. She passed along this story from the Daily Beast

" If a Republican legislator has his way, you’ll need papers to pee in Arizona. Thanks to the state’s infamous immigration legislation, residents are already subject to searches in order to prove their citizenship status. Now transsexual people will have to prove they are in the “correct” bathroom. A new bill introduced this week by Republican state representative John Kavanagh would make it a Class 1 misdemeanor to use a public restroom that does not correspond to the gender on one’s birth certificate. If a person is reported to be using the bathroom without the proper paperwork and matching genitals, it would be defined as “disorderly conduct” and the person could be fined $2,500 and spend six months in jail."

Obviously transphobic Kavanagh should get a real life and out of ours. If you are transgender and passing through Arizona...better hold it!

But Bobbie finished on a high note with this story from Upworthy:

Have you heard the story about the transgender student who joined a fraternity? Earlier on Upworthy we told you about Donnie Collins, a student at Emerson College in Boston, Massachusetts. When his insurance policy turned down his request for transgender surgery, Donnie’s fraternity brothers started a wildly successful fundraising campaign. Total strangers pitched in, then Donnie’s health insurance company miraculously agreed to cover him, and the fraternity raised a bunch of money to help other young people with their surgeries too. Result! So what kind of person could possibly inspire so much love and generosity? Check out Donnie’s thank-you message from last month and you’ll get it. At 1:13 A campaign is born. At 2:38 Here is Donnie’s takeaway At 4:58 Consider yourself kissed, friends At 6:40 Here's the big heartfelt finish"

Thanks Bobbie!

Boring?

I was going through my transgender relevant emails and came across a surprising and confusing story about the clothing chain New Look:
Recently,  A young trans woman was left upset and puzzled after being told she couldn't use the changing rooms at international fashion chain store, New Look. According to Gay Star News.
A confusing story because at least in my section of the world most women's clothing stores welcome cross dressers or transgender shoppers with welcome arms. My theory is in retail business today we all are green under the sun...as in money.

But, seemingly not so much with "New Look":

"M (whose name has been withheld at her request) was visiting the chain’s branch in Brixton, south London, England where she spent half an hour browsing, picking up clothes before heading to the changing room. There, she says, her way was barred by a staff member who challenged her explicitly, stating: ‘Oh, you are a man.’ M attempted to explain she was transgender and just wanted to try on clothes like anyone else. However, the response was the same: ‘This is a women’s changing room, we don’t have any changing rooms for men."

I am not here to slam the "New Look" chain. The company tried to "spin" the story by calling the incident a mistake caused by poorly written memo. More than likely a better written memo has already been issued. If not shame on them. If they carried clothes in my size, I can certainly take my business to their competitors. The same as I do with a certain well known chicken food chain.

More interesting to me was "M"s boring comment:

‘All trans people want to be is boring. ‘All I have ever wanted was to wake up one day and be a cis gendered girl. And I guess the reason I was so taken aback by the incident was because in my head, at that point, I was the girl. Not 100%, but I was pretty damned close. ‘But [New Look’s] official policy is that I am someone who their store managers have to make special arrangements for because, in their eyes, I am not a woman and will never, ever be a woman. And I will never be boring. I will always stand out. And I will always make other customers feel uncomfortable in using a closed changing room whilst I use a separate closed changing room several feet away. ‘Still, I cannot get over the thought of, what if this happened to someone who was very early in their transition? Who has only just got out of the closet hell? This sort of thing could set someone back months in their transition.’

So true! I'm fairly certain boring does not describe me as a person at all. Even if you leave the transgender part of my personality out.
Plus when you do venture out of the closet the last thing you need is some narrow minded bigoted clerk setting you back with a dressing room ban.
Everytime a "M" steps up, it helps us all!

My Husband Betty

On the Cyrsti's Condo big screen I'm passing along a classic video from the days when Helen Boyd was promoting her book called "My Husband Betty":



Helen writes a very active blog which I have a permanent link to on the blog or you can go here for more.

Horror Scope!

As the time flies by here in Cyrsti's Condo and the stars move across the sky...it's time for another look at what's in store for all of us Libra girls:


(September 23-October 22): You only have yourself to answer to at the end of the day, and if what you want matches your boo’s agenda, then hurrah, you will have a very happy few weeks. If it’s not, then woe is you, as you will be all sorts of irritated as you try to work as a team. Of course, peace of mind and balance doesn’t always have to come in twos.

Wow! I better send my agenda to my boo. So she can adjust hers!  Just kidding!!!!
Please remember the "Horror Scope" term is my own and you can look to the stars for your scope from theFrisky  here.

Trans Ohio Symposium

In the recent months here in Cyrsti's Condo, I have mentioned I am going to be a presenter at this year's Trans Ohio Symposium.
The conference is scheduled for April the 26th through the 28th in Columbus, Ohio. My workshop will be based on transitioning later in life but much, much more will be happening!

If you live close and are interested,   the keynote speaker this year is writer and poet Andrea Jenkins . In addition to Andrea's keynote, she'll be presenting two workshops: Issues for Transpeople of Color and The Role of Art in Transgender Movement, so plan to attend! Andrea is the author of two chapbooks, “tributaries: poems celebrating black history and “Pieces of Scream”. Recently elected to chair the newly established GLBT Caucus of the Association of Writers and Writing Programs, Andrea is lives in Minneapolis and works as a Senior Policy Aide for the 8th Ward City Councilmember, Elizabeth Glidden.

For more information on the weekend, go here.

Emma

On the Cyrsti's Condo big screen is transvestite Emma who I have also followed on YouTube for awhile:

Heidi

I have followed this girl for awhile and the least I can say is she is gorgeous!
Of interest to me is how she has changed her stated identity fairly recently from cross dresser to MtF. Here she is on the Cyrstt's Condo big screen:

Owning It

Here it is again. It's 3 o clock in the morning in Cyrsti's Condo.  I'm curled up watching "The Graduate". from 1967 (the year I graduated from high school). Naturally, it's one of the "movin' picture shows" my generation owns.

As I watched it again though, I found I didn't own any of it. Of course the non-war (Viet Nam) was going on in all it's tortured glory and taking us with it. We were stuck between our parents from the WWII era who had no understanding of why we would fight so hard against serving our country-when in fact we weren't. I never saw the Viet Cong attacking my town...but this is not a late night political rant.

What I really didn't own was my transgender identity.
The soft clear angst of a few of the Simon and Garfunkle  songs from the movie took me back to the  normal uncertainties of my age compounded by this pesky idea that I wanted to be a girl sometimes. Hind sight is always 20-20 but I do wonder (outside of the obvious) how my life would have changed had I faced myself so long ago. As my late wife once told me "be man enough to be a woman".

Who knows? Of course I have all the excuses in the world of how I went on to lead a fairly successful male life and all the while constructing a huge patch to run it all.

I want to think if I had faced it all then, I would I saved myself a tremendous amount of pain and suffering. Then again running away led me to some of the very special people and experiences of my life. As I sit here writing this, all the angst of my graduation years has faded and reality is setting back in. Life has a way of doing that I suppose.

Someone once told me if you are lucky enough to live long enough you can divide your life into 30 year cycles. Many times my path to the final 30 and out cycle was very tenuous. The reassuring fact is now I'm at last at peace with my entire self. If the force above took me away today, I'd have to say "thanks for the trip".

In the meantime Dustin Hoffman married Katherine Ross in the Graduate and all is right with the world and I own it.