A Free Man in Paris

Way back in the mid 70's Canadian folk rock singer Joni Mitchell wrote and sang a song called Free Man in Paris on an album (yes vinyl!) called Court and Spark.
The song to me always seemed to be an anthem to escaping life's pressures-if only for a second and if only in your mind. Here's an excerpt:

"I was a free man in Paris I felt unfettered and alive Nobody was calling me up for favors No one's future to decide."
and a little more:

"I deal in dreamers and telephone screamers Lately I wonder what I do it for If I had my way I'd just walk through those doors And wander down the Champs-Élysées Going café to cabaret Thinking how I'd feel when I find That very good friend of mine"

I know you are wondering where the heck I'm going with this.

In my head today, I'm walking down my version of the Champs-Elysees because yesterday was so incredibly mentally intense. In fact I did take a brisk morning walk in thirty degree temps with my dog around a few personal landmarks in my home town such as the church I was brought up in and the neighboring building which housed the draft board where I was sent off to South East Asia. (not for SRS but it was free!)
The buildings were obviously so far from the Champs-Elysees (I've been once) but not so far from the point.

It probably was the strong cold wind which was making my eyes tear up and not the hormones as I thought of the events of the day before. You regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know I'm a huge sports fan.  Yesterday was the 109th rematch of the great The Ohio State/Michigan football rivalry game. Easily I have watched at least 45 of them with my brother and 27 with my spouse who passed almost five years ago. (She was a huge OSU fan too.) Sure I was happy Ohio State won but of course I was a bit saddened of the male past I was beginning to leave behind in increasingly huge chunks.

Why? Because in about three hours I was meeting my daughter, son in law and his brother as Cyrsti for the first time and being told the three grand kids know and heading out to an Aid's Benefit Show with six of her soccer mom friends. (more on that in another post). Incredibly, the day ended with a bang as a car on my busy street went out of control and hit a parked vehicle. BOOM! (True story and a fitting close to the day.)

So today I'm in my own "Free Man in Paris" mode, pretty much emotionally shot but internally charged. I can only describe my mental and psychical state to one of those incredibly busy 12 hour restaurant shifts I used to work-emotionally spent but adrenalin sparked.

By tomorrow I certainly will have time to filter all of yesterday through and get back to my own version of normal! Finally. I would be remiss if I didn't mention Jessica from France who reads the blog and can wander up and down the streets of Paris.

Quote of the Day

The latest Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day" comes from the world of sports:

"Ohio State's defense is turning Michigan over like a bakery shop!"- Paul Keels comment during The Ohio State/Michigan rivalry game yesterday which Ohio State went on to win...again.
Paul Keels is the announcer for The Ohio State radio network.

Final Transition Edit

A young transgender woman's journey into the world:

Chasing and Living the Dream

From YouTube of course, a transgender person's success story:

The Feminine Mystique

Over the years here in Cyrsti's Condo, I have taken various looks at a man's misconception of certain feminine myths such as rest rooms and purses.
No pun intended, but any verbal journey into the world of women's restrooms is guaranteed to generate feedback. Purses are much more of a fun topic. Just what the heck happens in that bag and just why does it weigh 40 pounds?

Here's yet another "girl myth". What exactly does it mean when a woman says she has nothing to wear? No matter how many times you look into her jam packed closet, she has nothing to wear...Really?
I understand the problem now and have for awhile. Finally though I can put it into words.
Here's why I might not have anything to wear tonight for my daughter's girls night out even though I do have a fair amount of clothes.
Considerations:
1.- Do the clothes fit? I have gained weight with the hormones.
2.- Are the clothes good fashion choices? (Some weren't to begin with.)
3.- What is the occasion and what are the other women wearing?
4.- How can I "mix and match" the best possible choices from the closet?
5.-I won't even mention, accessories, make up and hair!

So ideally, I do have something to wear tonight-then again I don't because I'm not so sure as of this moment what it is. I have to say if all of this sounds totally over the top feminine- it is and once again Karma Lady is laughing away! First I went through the payback of never being able to find my keys in my purse and now the closet? Another myth shattered!

Transsexual Surfing the Silver Screen?

From the Northern Star: "THE story of Gold Coast surfing legend Peter Drouyn who announced he planned to undergo a sex change in Thailand in 2009, has hit the limelight again. American film production company Westward Productions recently announced it planned to make a documentary about Peter and his alter-ego, Westerly Windina and film the operation Peter was about to undergo to become a "full woman." My Daily News surfing columnist, surfing legend and Peter's childhood friend, Andy Mackinnon, said he was really upset about the news and felt that Peter was selling himself short. "Everyone who really knows Peter is really concerned," he said. "It all goes back to around the year 2000 when Peter thought he might want to change his gender. "At first he just dressed up as a woman, then slowly changed his character and became Westerly. "He grew up a macho guy and was a real ladies man, but now is the complete opposite." Although Mr Drouyn planned the sex change operation for years, he never actually made it to Thailand due to financial problems. The planned documentary may finally fulfil Mr Drouyn's longstanding wish. But those close to him are uncertain this is the best thing for him." For more on the story, go here.

And...A New Era Begins

This post is the continuation of the family Thanksgiving story I recently passed along.

As you may know or remember, my daughter has been a huge proponent of my transgender transition and my son in law has followed.

Before she and the grand kids took off last night my daughter took me off guard by insisting I join her and her girlfriends at a special show they attend every year by the "Ruby Girls" drag act where we live. Let me point out while I'm out to her and she has seen pictures of me we have never been together one on one.

After my brief panic attack subsided, I decided it was time again to "hitch up my big girl panties" and do it. Hell yes my daughter and I at a drag show and her friends? Scratch the panic and get on with the fun.

Let the new Era begin with a flourish!

Busy Work

As a quick "Cyrsti's Condo" maintenance comment, I would like to point out you may be seeing some of my older pictures and playing with them with a newer photo toy Google Chrome is offering. Just can't resist playing with something I can actually understand!

End of an Era

As you might expect, I really had to work to butch it up for my family's Thanksgiving feast.
I knew full well how my physical transition was going to work.  With just a little extra effort I was able to pick two of my remaining ex-large guy shirts which were loose enough to disguise my breast area.  Tying my hair back and shoving it up under a hat was a little more of an effort.

So off I went, knowing full well this will be my last Thanksgiving dinner with the family as my old self. (The patriarch)  A fact which was not lost on my Son-in Law.  We were able to slide off into a deserted corner for a quick discussion. He is a man of a few words and said "well this is about it" right? Of course I replied this is it and proceeded to move on in the conversation. Next he remarked how much he was behind me in my transition and we quickly speculated how other family members would react on both sides. Probably, the ones we project as possible "problems" won't be and others lurking in the shadows will be. But I told him they won't have a choice anyhow so who cares?

Sure I'm confident about the situation because I already have the most important people in my life behind me already. On the other hand, leaving yesterday as a male (as I can still be) was a chance to reflect on what I was walking away from and into.  The final chapter will be written on Christmas Day when I go to my final family get together.

The best part of an era ending is the opportunity to begin a new one- which I will discuss in my next post!