Time to Process?

Met a real live man tonite. One with a personality and even a sense of humor.
He is a man's man with macho hobbies and all.
We met at one of my regular spots and the bartender who was working is one of the few remaining people anywhere who has seen me both ways.
So,I knew she was taking great interest in my "date"
We went our separate ways and he left first, kiss and all. As I sat for a second and collected my thoughts, the bartender came by and asked how everything was.
I could only say "great, I'm just trying to process the evening.
Maybe I could have said I needed a second to find my way down from cloud nine!

On the Horizon

I know things have been a little quiet around here in the "condo".
I have taken the creative energy to do a little work on my "how to" book.
It's called the "common man's" guide to becoming a girl.  I know what you are thinking. "Not another how to book"!
Before you throw it in the trash, here's my angle. My niche.
The guide will be aimed at the novice crossdresser attempting to navigate her way through a confusing gender minefield.
Most of the so called help guides I've seen start with a very pretty boy with a thin body.  He of course transforms into a gorgeous female.
What about the rest of us? The ones who can't afford or can't sacrifice family and loved ones while they make the most important decision of their life?.
What about the rest of us who have to work very hard to present female.
I have a real problem with self discipline and organizational "stuff" so my guide may be a work in progress for awhile!
Just wanted to let you know what was going on, other than a bra less look I'm working on!

Transgender Love Scene Coming To The Small Screen

From TV Guide and William Keck, the Hung series will take a transgender turn.
Ray Drecker, the male prostitute played by Thomas Jane will bed down with transgender beauty Jamie Clayton.
 Initially, Jane was not so sure of the idea. "When Thomas first got wind of Ray's new adventures, "the idea of kissing a man was not a comfortable one for him, but he did great," says creator Colette Burson, who is exploring the possibility of making Kyla Ray's full-time girlfriend in Season 4. "They had to kiss for hours. After his initial shyness, she became a woman for him."

Any insecurities Thomas had disappeared when he arrived on set. "I asked, 'So where's the guy?' and was told, 'That's her!'" he told me at the 2011 Saturn Awards. "There was this beautiful girl who blew me away."

Agreed!.

Independence Day!

Happy Fourth of July to all in my part of the world. I've touched on what independence means to all of us.
Thanks to all of you transgendered veterans who helped make our independence possible.
Most of us know others who paid the ultimate sacrifice... trans or not.
Happily, it now looks the Veteran's Administration has recognized our needs and is moving to address them.
Have a safe a good 4th!!!!!!!!!
Cyrsti

One Year Ago!

It is very hard for me to believe I can go back on the blog now and see what I was up to a year ago.  Have I learned anything or not?
Here is one of those posts I would like to share:

"Becoming transgenderized takes a lot of work!
In my little corner of the world the heat and humidity has returned- along with the need for cool summer fashion.
The transgenderized process becomes a bigger challenge. Obviously  body hair is a priority along with foot and toe nail maintenance. No winter jeans, sweaters and boots to cover imperfections.
Fortunately, I've been able to put together some outfits that have presented well.
No matter how you present and how complete the transgenderized process becomes, you still have to exude the confidence to enjoy the process. There is nothing wrong with me!
One very good way to build your confidence is with the "sun glass" game.(Or destroy it)
Put on your best outfit and your sharpest sun glasses and head for people.  My choice was Friday about 6:30 at an outdoor upscale mall.
No big secret to the process. I could observe everyones reaction to me young and old, male and female.
Would all or none recognize I was a transgenderized person?
Friday, I'm happy to say was a huge success.  I got nothing from the public. Window shopped the mall and made my two pub stops.
The only contacts who knew my background were my regular bartenders.  Seemingly, the better I present, the more fun they have with our "secret".
When this happens to you it is the time to push your boundaries and build your confidence!
Work on your voice and interact more with others. Reach out to them!  Regular contacts will view you more as a person!
If by chance you didn't present so well go back to the drawing board! Unfortunately, trial and error has been my drawing board.
So many problems with so many looks starting with the hair. I really don't want to tell you the number of different wigs  I have accumulated!
I have one I call the "suicide" blond. I dearly love it! Streaked highlights and great volume. It's fun hair.  BUT:
If I wear it I'm way more likely to be read. I learned the hard way!
I fight a constant battle with my transgenderized self. She needs to stay within herself.
When she does the world is a much better place!"

The first thought that stands out to me was that I was looking for reaction to me.  These days I don't. Of course I'm always searching for that perfect outfit to look my best! What woman shouldn't? Overall though, I have made huge strides feeling comfortable who I am in my chosen gender.
Throw out my blond debacle a couple months ago and I have followed much of my own advice. Certainly the year has made a huge difference...mostly mental.
As my interior female has enjoyed her chance to grow, life has become incredibly more enjoyable.
I can only guess what next years post will say!

Woman's Best Friend?

I have two dogs who are very close to me. As dogs do, they give unconditional love. I needed their love during some very difficult times in my life.
A friend of mine asked me several months ago if the two reacted different to the two me's.
Good question and the answer is yes.
Both are partial to the male me which is not surprising  He takes them for rides, feeds them and gives them more attention.
When she starts to get dressed they disappear.
It is very easy to give dogs too much credit. Sure they are keen observers of humans but I'm not so sure they are capable of reasoning why she's a bitch and won't treat them to the moments they enjoy.
What they don't understand their combined weight of over 160 pounds does not put them into the stylish "Pocket Pooch" status. They don't understand I cant risk them doing something crazy my girl self can't control. Yet.
So for the time being they will have to keep thinking I'm just the bitch who takes over quite a bit.
Then again, dogs can be bribed and maybe it's time for her to do it!
It will be their little moment of transition.

Donna Milo

You may remember Donna Milo. She is the conservative Republic transwoman who is running for congress from Florida. It seems Donna has some inconsistencies in her campaign according to Queerty
As you can imagine, some of us have watched her campaign with some interest.
Regardless of how you feel about her, you have to love this excerpt from Queerty:
"Milo married her sweetheart (a woman) at age 19 and had two kids. That means that Milo—who transitioned from male-to-female via surgery sometime after becoming a spouse and parent—considered herself a woman when she married her wife; that is, she got gay married, something she’s now against. Ironically, if Milo tried to remarry Florida courts wouldn’t allow her to marry a man because they only take into account your biological gender at birth. So if Ms. Milo wanted to remarry in Florida, she’d have to marry a woman—gay marriage, something she’s against.
It’s important to point out this hilarious contradiction because it highlights what makes Milo such a horrible candidate for Congress. She’s a teabaggy mix of Conservative contradictions who supports ENDA (because her trans-ass could be fired from Congress with no legal recourse otherwise) but is against giving LGBTs other marriage and parental rights. She’s benefited from the same sorts of entitlements she’s now against and that glaring oversight makes her not only a poor congressional candidate, but one who would work hard to make sure none of us ever get married or have kids. Even though she got to do both."
Of course, being a politician (trans or not) Milo is saying she is not against gay marriage... As such.
I believe it is totally feasible to be a conservative trans person. I am one myself in many areas.
In Milo's case, she certainly had to see this one coming which makes her just another slippery politician.
My disclaimer here is I am only presenting one side of the story and coming up with a conclusion dissenting opinions will be given equal space! lol

Legs and Hair

The look of the night last night was fun-fun -fun! As luck would have it, I enjoyed lavish attention from male bartenders all night long.
A close leg shave and tanning lotion gave me the wonderful soft feel I love on a hot day with a short skirt.
The evening never cooled down much as I made my way through it. Long hair brushing slightly on my bare shoulders and back was a constant sensory thrill.
I know I gave more than one show as an older guy nearly lost his baseball hat turning to look at me walking slowly across the parking lot. Sunglasses gave me the opportunity to really watch him watch me without really knowing it.
I'm told I have the legs to show, so why not?
I did mention the "slow" part of the walk. At that point in time I was celebrating my own start to the "Independence Day" weekend.

We all know "independence" is not a one day, week or year deal.  A person has to fight for it and nourish it to make it happen.
The nourishment of finding the perfect outfit and shoes or doing the perfect makeup and hair makes up for the extreme disappointment I felt last week.
As for all of you I hope you can experience your own independence day...wherever you may be in the world.
At the end of the day your freedom is actually all that matters!

Nothing never Happens

A great quote if I ever read one!
Last night when I thought nothing happened and everything went so smoothly. Did nothing never happen?
What about the three guys who I looked up and saw them looking at me.  Was that nothing. Don't know. Was the guy who kept walking by and barely touching my hair on my bare shoulders with his arm nothing? Three times? I believe it wasn't nothing and it happened.
Last night,  I encountered many women, nothing did happen. Nothing never happened I think.
Nothing really did happen with me personally though. I really enjoyed texting my friend and listening to the music I love. More importantly I loved being the real me. Nothing really never happens!