An Egyptian Transgender Journey

You may be interested in checking out this moving transgender story from the Associated Press in Cairo, Egypt. Here is an excerpt:

"Malak el-Kashif left home on her birthday seven years ago. Walking into an uncertain future, she was underdressed for the weather and armed with little— except for some makeup, a few women’s accessories and 50 Egyptian pounds (at the time about six American dollars).

“I was afraid but I didn’t hesitate,” she said. “There weren’t any other solutions.”

That night, el-Kashif identified as a 13-year-old boy. She has since emerged as perhaps Egypt’s most outspoken transgender woman activist.

It’s a label that in a largely conservative and patriarchal society has meant battling a war on multiple fronts.

“When you declare you are different, you should get ready for war. A big war,” she said. “The society will stomp on you and treat you like you are the enemy.”

She has been ostracized by her family and scorned by some who accuse her of tampering with God’s creation. She has been attacked by others scandalized by her activism for LGBTQ rights. Legally, she still holds a male’s identity card."

There is much more to her transgender struggle and you can read about it here.

Planning Ahead

In these times of staying home and staying safe, I have found planning ahead is the best way for me to overcome the extreme boredom.

I am fortunate in a couple ways, to be able to do it. First of all, Liz has worked from home for quite a while now and we have learned to coexist quite well without killing each other. Secondly, I have been living full time as a transgender woman for so long with an accepting partner. So I don't need the reinforcement of being validated in public as a feminine person. I have long since made the gender jump back to the person I always should have been.

I am also using the extra time I have staying in to write on my second book again. Looking back on my life and how I transitioned back to my true self has helped me to better understand how far I have come and be better prepared to hopefully ride out the current corona virus outbreak which the experts now say may not peak here in Ohio for another month. Of course too, as all of this health drama is unfolding, spring has established a firm hold finally here too. Which means it is time to update my wardrobe.

Luckily, now more than ever before, it is easier to update your wardrobe from home. In fact, if you do have a few more dollars to spend, you can enroll in a paid course through Total Image Consultants. If you are like me and don't, most on line clothing sites now have a liberal return policy until you learn what fits you well and flatters you. Along the way you have to learn how to dress as your ideal woman and get the most out of your assets. It's a difficult path with many more errors than trials but one which is worth it in the end.

Ideally, as you wait for society to return to it's new normal, you can take the time to improve yourself.

It's been tough for me as I am more of a reactive rather than a proactive person. In the mean time, I am doing my best to plan ahead.

The New Reality?

Recently, I wrote a post entitled "Selfish" here in Cyrsti's Condo. Under the new shelter in place rules here in Ohio, I have been stuck at home seemingly forever. In fact, the only big exciting trip out I have recently is a trip last night to the grocery store. Fortunately, most all of the had stock on them (except for the toilet paper)  So we couldn't be selfish and buy our two package minimum.

As you may or may not remember, the "Selfish" post wasn't about toilet paper and hopefully wasn't that bad of a post :).  Selfish was a post concerning gender transitioning and it's effects on those around you. In a short amount of words, is it a selfish pursuit to change your gender back to it's true self. Regardless of what many people think, we transgender women and men aren't really "changing" anything. We are simply beginning to live our reality.

Connie had this look at the post:

"It was more selfish of me when I was trying to compartmentalize my life - living a double life, really. Because I could not be "myself" with family and friends, I had gotten to the point where I was just carving out some time for them, rather than being there for them always. A therapist that my wife and I were seeing together made the suggestion that I ramp up the compartmentalization by scheduling my feminine-self. He used the analogy of an avid golfer, who compromises by agreeing to only play on Sundays, so that everyone agrees that nothing else should be expected on one day of the week. The trouble, though, was that I awoke every morning feeling every bit the woman I am, and, while golf is an activity, this was the very essence of who I was - every day. The suggestion was made from the therapist's ignorance of gender identity and dysphoria, and it would never have worked. However, it did provide the opportunity for me to explain why it would never work, and that's really when my transition began.

As I've often said, a gender transition starts with one being honest with self. As hard as that may be to do, the follow-up is to then to be honest with everyone else. In my case, my wife did not accept my cross dressing, but she has been so wonderful in how she has transitioned along with me. It's a different relationship, of course, but it is completely open and honest. Even if she had not wanted to deal with all of the drama of it, I know she would have still supported me. I postponed HRT for her sake, as she wasn't ready to accept breasts on me, but, when she had transitioned to the point of acceptance a couple of years later, I was hit with my first blood clot. After the second clot, I had to resign myself to the fact that HRT would never be part of my transition.

With the recent passing of Kenny Rogers, I can't help but to hear "The Gambler" in my head. Ha! "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." It's interesting to think of that song from a trans view; transitioning is somewhat of a gamble, really. Fortunately, there is "time enough for countin' when the dealing's done."

Thanks for the comment!

Sister Power

From Remezcla .com:

"Marizol and Selenis Leyva’s inspiring memoir My Sister is the moving story of two Latinas who grew up in the Bronx in the nineties. Marizol’s perspective and coming out story as a trans woman is at the center of the narrative. Through their alternating chapters, Marizol and Selenis manage to create an expansive portrait of girlhood that includes and celebrates trans women of color.

Left to right: Selenis and Marysol Leyva

In the book, Orange Is the New Black star Selenis also explores the challenges she faced as a teen, being one of the few Latinas at LaGuardia high school in the nineties. Meanwhile activist and model Marizol shares some of her painful experiences as a trans Afro-Latina with little to no role models who looked like her.

“I had no trans mother figure,” she tells Remezcla. “I was often silent and living in pain.”

My Sister is an important and unique memoir that feels as though it should be required reading in Latinx literature classes. We spoke with both sisters about the challenges of reconstructing memory, co-authoring a book and the importance of increasing the representation of trans women of color in literature."

For more of the interview, follow the link above in the first sentence.

New Trans Kid Show

From the "Star Observer":

"Premiering March 30 on ABC Me, First Day, is a new children’s drama series about a transgender girl navigating her first year of high school.

Starring transgender activist and actor, Evie McDonald as Hannah Bradford, First Day will air as a four part, half hour episode series and will explore some of the difficulties transgender kids face at school.

First Day is McDonald’s first acting role, however, she has been involved in a number of transgender awareness projects including the 2017 campaign to remove the family court from the gender affirmation process for transgender children.

In an interview with Star Observer, McDonald discussed just how important visibility projects such as First Day are in changing social perceptions about what it’s like to be transgender.

“I want to help make it easier for other people to come out as trans in the future. Being transgender is not a choice – and we’ve been around forever,” McDonald told Star Observer."

For more, go here.